Mirror Issues

ChampagneHrglss · January 2014

I've lost almost 50 pounds so far, out of a rough goal of 75. This morning, my scale told me I have 29 pounds to go - that's less than 30 pounds before I reach my goal.

I can tell in my pants (obviously, because the ones I started in don't fit anymore), I can tell in photos if I compare both the initial photo to a recent photo. I can tell when people react who haven't seen me since I started losing weight.

But when I look in the mirror, all by myself? I see no difference. I am not speaking metaphorically. My reflection, to my eyes, looks absolutely exactly the same as the first day. I can't figure out how to break through this issue and start actually seeing myself honestly. I've made a therapy appointment with a highly recommended counselor to see if she can help, but I thought I might reach out to the MFP community, too.

It's exhausting, trying to convince myself that the mirror is lying. Suggestions? Thoughts?

leslisa · January 2014

I'm the same with photos. To me I look like I did right after surgery. I always look fat and I always feel like ******. That is why I don't ever, ever get the suckers taken. I'm actually OK with the mirror though - go figure.

I can tell you that one of my therapists (I've had 3 - given my childhood it's a wonder I wasn't committed) used to tell me to look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful. I'm worthy. I am perfect the way I am." I

Don't know if it will help you. When I was extremely anorexic it did help me.

If photos help you see the difference maybe you could put a photo of "old you" on the mirror on one side and new you on the other.

take care and best of luck.

Hug.:flowerforyou:

ChampagneHrglss · January 2014

That's actually super helpful - the old photo on the mirror idea. I'm going to do that immediately. Right now I have a cartoon I drew of Smaug that I drew in black dry-erase marker and he's saying "I am fire. I am death." because I think I'm really funny.

My husband writes motivational notes to me on the mirror sometimes, too. Currently it says "You belong where you want to be, not where others think you belong."

clrug0912 · January 2014

I would challenge yourself each morning to look in the mirror and find something new that you like about yourself. It can be physical or emotional. Sometimes we see the same thing because we aren't used to the change or we've been stuck thinking the same thoughts for too long. I get stuck doing the same thing sometimes and picking out the negative about myself, instead of seeing how far I have come. If you pick out one little thing each day, it might help you see the difference you are making for yourself and break the cycle! Congrats on the weight loss!

ChampagneHrglss · January 2014

Also great advice. I will challenge myself! Thank you, ladies!

ThineOwnselfBTrue · January 2014

I'm in the same boat as you. I don't see the difference even though my clothes tell me there is. And my scale tells me there is. Not until I found a picture from a year ago and put it up with a recent one did I notice a difference... I don't have a lot of pictures of me though. I was always behind the camera

Duck_Puddle · January 2014

It took me a year. I was morbidly obese to start and lost 70+ lbs and continued to see morbidly obese me in the mirror. Every day. I saw a difference in pics, but didn't recognize the person in the pics as me. I didn't think I was smaller, I didn't feel any smaller, I didn't understand why people made a fuss when they saw me, I didn't understand how I fit so easily into places and things I hadn't fit into before. It was very confusing. Then like magic, one morning I woke up and felt smaller. It just felt like I took up less space. Then the next day, I saw it. I looked in the mirror and the reflection matched what I saw in pictures. It was actually a little unsettling. I don't see normal-sized me every day. Sometimes I still see morbidly obese me in the mirror. But I've gradually been getting used to normal sized me, and reminding myself that I am indeed normal sized-and THAT is the real reflection.

It's not a self-worth issue for me (I liked me before and I like me now), it's an identity-type issue. I was so large for so long, and so much of my mere existence revolved around being that large, that being not that large is a huge shift in lifestyle and identity. As I've come to terms with being someone that can just walk down the aisle of an airplane without people sighing with relief that I'm not the one sitting next to them (as an example), it's become more normal. And seeing myself in the mirror as what I think is the "real" reflection has just been part of that process. But it took time for me. About a year.

ChampagneHrglss · January 2014

Yeah, I had one of those "WTF" moments this last weekend when I was on a plane and realizes that my thighs weren't squished into the arm rests anymore.

MoreBean13 · January 2014

I would suggest going shopping for new clothes. Seriously. Even if you're not ready to commit to buying new clothes at this point (understandable, as you will likely change sizes) go try a bunch of stuff on to see how you look in whatever your new size is. Buy one thing that makes you feel really good, a pair of great jeans or a sexy dress. It will help you see yourself anew.

ETA: and take pictures in the dressing room of the stuff you like.

Adc7225 · January 2014

I know just how you feel, I went shopping this weekend and while I now wear Petites I felt like everyone was looking at me wondering why I wasn't in the Plus department

I also had to do the side by side photo after someone in the gym complemented me on how good I was doing and how they could see the difference. I guess while our brain fails to notify us as we are gaining weight it takes that much longer for it adjust to our losing weight. I try to keep in mind that one day it will catch up and when I look in the mirror I will see what is really there.

Mirror Issues

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