Every day I fail

I started my diet/exercise plan 3 weeks ago and every day I fail. Things start out well, I do my cardio, watch my calories, but by the end of the day I just say 'eff this, I'm bored and hungry'.

Maybe y'all can help motivate me.
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Replies

  • YorriaRaine
    YorriaRaine Posts: 370 Member
    What is your goal weight loss per week? If its 2 that can be too big of an adjustment at once for some people, and you should maybe switch it to 1 pound a week until you can adjust your routine. Then eventually up it back up to 2 pounds a week.

    Finding something to occupy boredom is also important, maybe try to develop a hobby that can take up that time. :)
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
    That is great! Every time you fail, you just keep going. That is the secret. We all fail to some degree or another, bit the small changes will add up until they outnumber the fails.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Instead of setting super high expectations and trying to be perfect every day, remind yourself that you're human. Make small realistic changes every day, or week, or month. No need to be in a huge rush or put a ton of pressure on yourself.

    Your profile is private so I have no idea how much weight you're looking to lose so here's a good guideline for estabilishing weekly weight loss goals:
    If you have 75+ lbs to lose 2 lbs/week is ideal,
    If you have 40-75 lbs to lose 1.5 lbs/week is ideal,
    If you have 25-40 lbs to lose 1 lbs/week is ideal,
    If you have 15 -25 lbs to lose 0.5 to 1.0 lbs/week is ideal, and
    If you have less than 15 lbs to lose 0.5 lbs/week is ideal.

    Just because MFP let's you choose up to 2 pounds per week, doesn't mean it's the right goal for you. Better to be realistic and give yourself some breathing room. Even if you have enough to lose to go with 1.5 pounds per week, set a lower goal. Also make sure your activity level is correct. Most go with sedentary, which does include some normal daily activity like cooking, cleaning etc but if you're more active than that, you may want to go up a level. Also, when you exercise, you should be eating back at least half of the earned calories, more if you're hungry.

    Small changes.. This week, just log your food every day. Don't worry too much about going over if you decide to have an extra snack, just form the logging habit. Also realize that going over by up to 100 calories isn't really a big deal. You'll still have a calorie deficit. Next week, try to stay within your goal at least 3 days. The week after, 5 days. Then work on food choices like trying to get in more fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains. Then maybe fitness goals.

    Best of luck!
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    Yorria, I don't have a goal weight loss per week, heck, I can't even afford a scale lol. I was just trying to start off simply by watching calories and doing cardio/yoga. I have hobbies, but I should say I also have a couple conditions that keep me from being able to focus on things for too long, or to even leave the house most days.

    Sigh. It's an endless cycle, but I really am trying. A year ago I wouldn't have tried at all. I guess that's the important thing for right now.

    Thanks for the response!
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    Pony, thanks for the encouragement! That's really what I need.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Honest truth.. nobody here is going to make you succeed.. we can give you support but if you don't even make it 1 day (that is if your not eating in an extreme deficit) then you obviously aren't ready to lose weight.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    Yorria, I don't have a goal weight loss per week, heck,

    You do though, that's how MP set a calorie goal for you. Maybe you are eating too little? Maybe you are cutting out things you like?
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    I started my diet/exercise plan 3 weeks ago and every day I fail. Things start out well, I do my cardio, watch my calories, but by the end of the day I just say 'eff this, I'm bored and hungry'.

    Maybe y'all can help motivate me.

    Actually only you can motivate yourself. Weight loss may not be a priority for you right now. You mention certain conditions that prevent you from staying on track. Perhaps those conditions need to be addressed first so the rest can fall into place?

    I know that when people encouraged me and motivated me to start losing weight, I didn't really absorb any of it because I just wasn't ready. When I made it a priority, and put it on the top of my list, it wasn't that difficult anymore.
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    Minnie, that's great advice. I like your suggestion of just following my plan 3 times a week and every week increase. I think I do put way too much pressure on myself in every aspect of my life.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    nope sorry we can't motivate you..you have to want it bad enough yourself.

    I can give you ideas on how to motivate yourself...like the success threads, googling pics of before and after....that's what I did at the start...

    Now I look in the mirror or my own before and after pics.
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    Honest truth.. nobody here is going to make you succeed.. we can give you support but if you don't even make it 1 day (that is if your not eating in an extreme deficit) then you obviously aren't ready to lose weight.

    You're definitely not the type I wanted to respond. I came to the forum *for* support, not for you to give me a magic weight loss spell.
  • Maridar
    Maridar Posts: 164 Member
    it's always up and down, do not despair, take it day by day. Indulged one day, try to do better the next day, control your urges. I always remember if you can't control what you are eating how can you control your life?:) I can't answer that question yet, I guess, I am still learning how to do it.
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    nope sorry we can't motivate you..you have to want it bad enough yourself.

    I can give you ideas on how to motivate yourself...like the success threads, googling pics of before and after....that's what I did at the start...

    Now I look in the mirror or my own before and after pics.

    Again, I am *here* for friendly support, maybe motivation was the wrong word.
  • cookiealbright
    cookiealbright Posts: 605 Member
    Baby steps...you didn't put the weight on overnight and you won't lose it overnight either. When I'm bored at the end of the day, I just go to bed so I don't have time to snack. I wish I could get bored, I always have so much to do! Good luck to ya! :flowerforyou:
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    Thanks, cookie :D
  • Mojoman02
    Mojoman02 Posts: 146 Member
    How will you know your progress if you don't have a scale? Where will you be weighing yourself? You could probably find one in a hospital, YMCA, etc. But if you don't have concrete goals and no way to measure them, then yes, you will be lost. What if you got in your car and didn't know where you wanted to arrive and just drove and drove and had not idea how many miles you need to drive to get there?

    You have to want this BADLY. You have to want this more than any other goal you have going right now......if you don't make it a high priority, then yes, you will fail.

    So how bad do you want it?? We are all here to help!! :smile:
  • Blokeypoo
    Blokeypoo Posts: 274 Member
    I would say that support comes in many forms - often that which you like the least is the closest to being useful.

    Either way, just keep trying.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I feel you. I had YEARS worth of "day 1" and "start tomorrow". Yes I wanted it badly, more badly than I can express, as I was miserable in a fat body. But still that didn't stop me from continually pushing my goals off until some non-descript "tomorrow".

    It doesn't change until you recognize that you aren't "failing", you're just choosing to put your enjoyment of food above your body goals. I had to recognize that food wasn't calling my name, I was DECIDING to eat in ways that weren't conducive to my goals. As miserable as I was I just didn't want it enough to affect change.

    But if you have the power to stay the same, or get worse, than you in equal parts have the power to change. It took me years to own my power, but eventually I did. It got to the point where I couldn't stay fat anymore and I refused to let anything stop me.
    You don't realize just how strong you are until you get over the initial hurdles of discomfort.

    Now I don't look at days as "failures" or "successes". I own that I chose to put every ounce of food in my mouth that goes in, or not. That's incredible freedom. I hope you find the same.
  • poppyetpear
    poppyetpear Posts: 15 Member
    I use a tailors measuring tape to measure myself.
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
    Bottle of wine and a footlong sub last night. Fail.

    Back on the horse this a.m.
  • 42nFab
    42nFab Posts: 36
    hey Girl - if your are doing some cardio each day, it's better then not doing anything!!
    It's like quitting smoking - you can try a hundred times but you will know when you are ready and will do it,
    I am the biggest yo yo dieter around.....I work so hard to lose 20 pounds and then gain it all back because I feel confident again. This time I am focusing on making this apart of my life - not just to lose it temporarily. The weight didn't come on in 2 weeks so we can't expect it to come off in 2 weeks right :)

    You mentioned you do your cardio....is this earlier in the day? I recently tried to do my cardio in the evening and it's working out that I don't have the cravings I usually do if I'm sitting in front of the tv. Maybe it would be worth a try to move it to the evenings?

    Be in tune with your body. If you are feeling hungry and board at night, drink a ton of water.....you can also try Zumba classes on utube at no charge to get you moving if you don't feel like leaving the house!!!

    Add me as a friend if you'd like and we can chat when you need to! :).
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
    Me too, if eating and excercising exactly to plan is how I define success. I allow myself some wiggle room.

    I agree completely with @MinnieInMaine. Change only one thing at a time. In fact, her idea about just logging without trying to *diet* will show you where most of your excess calories are coming from. Maybe only a relatively small change will enable you to eat at a deficit without being miserable. For now, who cares if you're eating clean or paleo or whatever? Just get the weight moving and you can refine things later on.

    You are wise not to have a specific goal for weight loss (although you have to put something in the setup for MFP to calculate your calories.) That way any loss is a success and will motivate you further.

    Oh, and have you heard the old saying: "Idle hands are the devil's playground?" Well, idle hands are the dieter's enemy, too. Find some busy work to keep your hands occupied so you can't have food in them at the same time. You can do jigsaw puzzles or take up knitting or stuff like that. If you have several of those activities easily available to you, you can flit from one to another when focus becomes an issue.

    You can do this!
  • 42nFab
    42nFab Posts: 36
    Bottle of wine and a footlong sub last night. Fail.

    Back on the horse this a.m.
    i like this guy!
  • tattedlady75
    tattedlady75 Posts: 185 Member
    I started my diet/exercise plan 3 weeks ago and every day I fail. Things start out well, I do my cardio, watch my calories, but by the end of the day I just say 'eff this, I'm bored and hungry'.

    Maybe y'all can help motivate me.

    Here are some ideas that may help. Eat more fruits and veggies in the evening, get some low calorie snacks, eat more protein and get rid of any tempting food that would make you want to snack in the evening. When you get the urge that your bored and hungry grab a bottle of water and walk around drinking it. After drinking all that water if your still hungry have a small snack carrot sticks, an apple, hard boiled egg, cheese stick or some other low calorie snack. Lately the evening have been killer for me as well, I keep wanting to snack on foods and I have given in several times, but I start over the next day. Your aloud to have mess up days, try not to deprive yourself too much during the day and fill up on fiberous foods and protein.
  • 42nFab
    42nFab Posts: 36
    I feel you. I had YEARS worth of "day 1" and "start tomorrow". Yes I wanted it badly, more badly than I can express, as I was miserable in a fat body. But still that didn't stop me from continually pushing my goals off until some non-descript "tomorrow".

    It doesn't change until you recognize that you aren't "failing", you're just choosing to put your enjoyment of food above your body goals. I had to recognize that food wasn't calling my name, I was DECIDING to eat in ways that weren't conducive to my goals. As miserable as I was I just didn't want it enough to affect change.

    But if you have the power to stay the same, or get worse, than you in equal parts have the power to change. It took me years to own my power, but eventually I did. It got to the point where I couldn't stay fat anymore and I refused to let anything stop me.
    You don't realize just how strong you are until you get over the initial hurdles of discomfort.

    Now I don't look at days as "failures" or "successes". I own that I chose to put every ounce of food in my mouth that goes in, or not. That's incredible freedom. I hope you find the same.
    freedom in deed!!! Well said!
  • kmantic
    kmantic Posts: 5 Member
    I think that "eff this, I'm bored and hungry. " is probably a carb/sugar/food addiction of some kind that has a hold of you. Seriously.. those "bad" foods that spike your blood sugar are addictive and your body wants to stay addicted, just like when a person is on a real drug.

    My suggestion: GET RID of all that junk from your house. Eat if if you want, but don't buy anymore after that. Know when you're eating it "this is it, no more". Then buy some apples or something to satisfy your craving, but that won't kill your entire day. Binge on apples if you want, I guarantee no one ever got obese by eating apples or any other fruit. Then gradually wean yourself off that craving and onto better foods. A nice, pre-mixed chocolate protein shake also satisfies those cravings very well.

    Binging, from my experience, is a bi-polar, sort of out of body experience.. the person you are when you're binging who doesn't give a F about anything is not the same person as the one who keeps trying over and over and is sick of carrying the extra weight around. You have to kill the other person. Don't let them show up. Talk to yourself when you're about to eat sh*tty food. Put up stickies or signs when you're in that right frame of mind that will bring you back when you're about to enter the "eff it" state of mind. Plan your day so you're not bored, do something different to avoid that situation.

    Whether you liked the advice or not, the guy who said the only person who can ultimately help you, is you. The fact that you keep trying is a great sign, but ultimately - you have to find your "why".

    Friedrich Nietzsche: "He who has a why can endure any how."
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Bottle of wine and a footlong sub last night. Fail.

    Back on the horse this a.m.

    Nothing wrong with a footlong if it fits your macros. The bottle of wine probably put you over your carbs though. :wink:
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    I think that "eff this, I'm bored and hungry. " is probably a carb/sugar/food addiction of some kind that has a hold of you. Seriously.. those "bad" foods that spike your blood sugar are addictive and your body wants to stay addicted, just like when a person is on a real drug.

    My suggestion: GET RID of all that junk from your house. Eat if if you want, but don't buy anymore after that. Know when you're eating it "this is it, no more". Then buy some apples or something to satisfy your craving, but that won't kill your entire day. Binge on apples if you want, I guarantee no one ever got obese by eating apples or any other fruit. Then gradually wean yourself off that craving and onto better foods. A nice, pre-mixed chocolate protein shake also satisfies those cravings very well.

    Binging, from my experience, is a bi-polar, sort of out of body experience.. the person you are when you're binging who doesn't give a F about anything is not the same person as the one who keeps trying over and over and is sick of carrying the extra weight around. You have to kill the other person. Don't let them show up. Talk to yourself when you're about to eat sh*tty food. Put up stickies or signs when you're in that right frame of mind that will bring you back when you're about to enter the "eff it" state of mind. Plan your day so you're not bored, do something different to avoid that situation.

    Whether you liked the advice or not, the guy who said the only person who can ultimately help you, is you. The fact that you keep trying is a great sign, but ultimately - you have to find your "why".

    Friedrich Nietzsche: "He who has a why can endure any how."

    Protein spikes your insulin response as much as sugar. I agree it is important to eat a BALANCE of your macros to keep blood sugar levels steady and binges at bay. No need to purge anything from your pantry unless you want to.
  • scottyg70
    scottyg70 Posts: 388 Member
    I'm just echoing what others have said but don't make so many drastic changes it's overwhelming. It's a process, really. You're trying to undo behavior that took you years to develop, so it's not going to happen overnight. Don't dwell on failures. Recognize them, learn from the but don't dwell on them.

    You're doing to important thing, you're jumping back on the horse. Everyone fails. Anyone who says they don't is a liar. But you've got to do this for you. Not your significant other, your kids, your Uncle Bill or whoever, it's YOU. That is my motivation every day. If I skip a workout or if I thought Taco Bell was a great idea, I'm only hurting myself. Good luck!
  • kducky22
    kducky22 Posts: 276 Member
    Bottle of wine and a footlong sub last night. Fail.

    Back on the horse this a.m.

    Is it bad that I think is sounds like an amazing night?!

    But the help out with the OP, I think a majority of us have to deal with the "I'm bored, let's eat" type of mentality. I think that's how we all got here in the first place. I think the best thing for you to do is to find something to occupy your time. I find that if I'm playing video games I won't mindlessly eat because I need both hands to play. Or I try to keep flavored water or tea next to me at all times. That way when I feel the urge to mindlessly much I try to grab those instead. For me it's trying to find things that keep you so busy that you don't have TIME to bored eat.

    GOOD LUCK!! Feel free to add me for extra motivation!