A Concerned Citizen

I wouldn't.. A person has to WANT to lose weight on their own. I'm pretty sure she's aware of her weight/health issues.

It's super-sweet that you're concerned for her. You have a tender and compassionate heart! If you know her well (or befriend her if you don't), she may just ask you about your own journey at some point. Then, and only then, should you say something. If you bring it up to her, not only will it appear extremely judgmental, it won't make a dent anyway because *she* has to want the help before she'll be able to make a change. You can't change a person.

I'm like an evangelist for health in my office, I talk about my weight loss journey all the time to people. But not in a pushy way and I ALWAYS talk about MYSELF and my journey, just in generic terms. It's amazing how people who are ready flock to me for advice. One gal even went from a 16-18 pant to a 6-8 because of our conversations! One guy started one month-long "goals" for himself including eating more fruit this month, lifting weights this month, etc. It's extremely exciting to influence people for the good.

Those who don't want help, won't ask. Focus on the ones who do. But only if they ask.

As others say, it would be hugely offensive to comment on her weight as she probably knows about her weight gain but as Bandolin11 says, if you want to help her, befriend her, get to know her. Be genuine and don't see it as a chance to get her just to lose weight. Maybe you'll find out she has problems or issues that have caused the weight gain and having a friend might help her with some of them and then you could maybe talk about YOUR weight control and tell her about MFP but not in a, "You should try this way," but just in a conversational way focussed on you, unless, of course, during conversation she mentions wanting to lose weight to you and then you could say, "oh, I use this great website."

It's fantastic that you're concerned.

Unfortunately, she has to want it for herself. Nobody else can make them want it or do it for them - the old adage you can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink. My dad was a horseman and said that if you're trying to train a horse, the horse has to be a willing participant.

The only thing you can do right now is not bring in junk food to work - a.k.a., ditch donut day. If she asks for suggestions, let her know you're available as a cheerleader, and of any helpful hints you may have.

Until then, don't approach her about it. Trust me, she knows about her condition.

It's nice that you're concerned, but keep in mind you only see her in passing. I agree with Brandolin11...it's okay to talk to her about weight *only* if she comes to you first. You never know--she may be struggling with some kind of bigger health issue that's causing this kind of weight gain. Commenting on someone else's weight, especially if you don't know them, is never a good idea--even if you have the best of intentions.

She knows. You saying something is likely to hurt her, not help her.

"Hey, why don't you go on a diet, you fatass?"


That - hopefully - won't be what you say. But it's quite likely that's what she'll hear, if you say anything at all.

You should say this -

"Hey, it looks like you've gained a few pounds. I know of a good cleanse that could help you detoxify and kickstart your weight loss!"

Or, in other words, keep your thoughts to yourself.

One does not simply have an intervention with what amounts to a complete stranger...they usually don't go over well with people you know well and truly love...you're likely to be killed trying to intervene in a complete strangers life without being asked.

If you are that concerned, befriend her and develop a relationship and lead by an example...maybe some day down the road she'll ask for advice.

There's this lady at work that I see around quite often. I'm not too sure what department she works in but we always say "Hi" when we run into each other. Over the past year that I've worked here, I've watched as her weight increased immensely and her ability to walk up and down the stairs become more challenging. She can't even walk down two steps without heaving and coughing. She looks so defeated. The last thing I am is a judgmental person. However, as a concerned citizen, I feel like I should say something. However, it is not my place and she might take it the wrong way. I'm genuinely scared for her.

For further clarification (if it even matters), she looks to be about 350-400 pounds, 5 feet 3 inches.

What is your stance?

Just continue to be nice to her; befriend her if you can and she's open to it. Don't mention her weight to her; she's probably got enough people who already do that. Just give her one person in her life who doesn't do it.

I've always believed in the "lead by example" concept. So continue what you are doing, get to know her and then maybe one day she'll ask something like "How did you get into working out?' If she wants help, let her ask you. Your concern is admirable for sure but I think you'd offend her by saying something.