Gastric Bypass vs. Healthy Lifestyle Change

Love_Is_My_Fuel
Love_Is_My_Fuel Posts: 211 Member
in Motivation and Support
Let me start by saying I don't want to offend anyone and everyone's weight loss journey is a journey. I have a close friend that got gastric bypass surgery last month and has lost 4 inches and 40 lbs. in a month and I'm really happy for her but part of me is kinda pissed that I work so hard and it's taken me a year to lose 86 lbs. She got the surgery and is now on a strict 600-800 calorie diet. I've lost the weight by eating healthy and changing my lifestyle to become more active and it was hard but I know it can be done because I've done it. I think that if she didn't have surgery and just decided to be healthier she would have lost the weight on her own. Educate me anyone if I'm being wrong here. I want to be able to support her and stop feeling these negative thoughts about her journey. Is it just me? Or anyone else feel this way?

Replies

  • sjaykay13
    sjaykay13 Posts: 74
    I understand your frustration but remember, after she loses all the weight and is no longer restricted to 800 calories a day, she is going to have to live a healthy lifestyle like you do. At that point you will have had months even years of practice!! She has to learn all the things that you have eventually. While it's hard not to see the fast results like she is, remember that everyone's journey is different. I contemplated surgery because I felt like it was a quick fix and would give me more time to "learn a better lifestyle". Ultimately I just bit the bullet, starting working out and eating better. Six months later I am only down 32lbs BUT I did it all on my own. At the end of the day, you are both making the right choices for your life so you've gotta go with it.

    CONGRATULATIONS on losing 86lbs!!! That is hard work, dedication, consistency and some real perseverance right there!!
  • Love_Is_My_Fuel
    Love_Is_My_Fuel Posts: 211 Member
    I understand your frustration but remember, after she loses all the weight and is no longer restricted to 800 calories a day, she is going to have to live a healthy lifestyle like you do. At that point you will have had months even years of practice!! She has to learn all the things that you have eventually. While it's hard not to see the fast results like she is, remember that everyone's journey is different. I contemplated surgery because I felt like it was a quick fix and would give me more time to "learn a better lifestyle". Ultimately I just bit the bullet, starting working out and eating better. Six months later I am only down 32lbs BUT I did it all on my own. At the end of the day, you are both making the right choices for your life so you've gotta go with it.

    CONGRATULATIONS on losing 86lbs!!! That is hard work, dedication, consistency and some real perseverance right there!!

    Thanks, it's tough also because we started at around the same weight. I remember how frustrated I was in the beginning and how much work I put into the first 40 lbs. She did it all by sitting on her butt lol...but I know too that ultimately she will have to live a healthy lifestyle to maintain her goal weight. I just don't want it to come in the way of our friendship because I feel strongly about it and haven't told her.
  • likedeer1
    likedeer1 Posts: 3
    Hi,

    I just had gastric bypass surgery on 1/9/14. I've lost 27 lbs thus far. I have to say that my motivation for the bypass surgery was far beyond losing weight. I wanted to get off of years of insulin and the bypass surgery, especially the ROUX en Y surgery has had great success in reversing diabetes. I am really inspired by people who diet, exercise and lose weight. For me, being on insulin makes you gain weight, except for one particular kind which I was allergic to.

    What I'm saying is - for some dieting and exercising works, for others more intervention needs to happen. Like a previous person said - it's just a tool for most, but for me - it has already (in just two weeks) gotten me off of insulin and cut my diabetes pills in half.

    Good luck!! Weight loss is hard no matter how you do it.
  • likedeer1
    likedeer1 Posts: 3
    Oh, I'm new here obviously and can't yet get my ticker to record my original weight... ugh!!! :-)
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    You have done great and are justifiably proud of your accomplishments.

    Everyone has to find their own way and do what works for them. Her way is different from yours. She is not at the place that you are and only time will tell if she is able to lose all of the weight she wants to and can maintain the loss. Maybe she could do it the way you are, but perhaps she does not have your determination and needs this to help her get to where she wants to be.

    Keep doing what you are doing and support her efforts and be a good friend to her. There really is no wrong or right way, there is just doing the best you can to become a healthier person.
  • loconnor466
    loconnor466 Posts: 215 Member
    First off, let me also congratulate you on losing 86 pounds! That is awesome.
    Now I will admit the ugly truth, I know the feelings you are feeling. My sister had bypass surgery and has lost and kept off, 171 pounds! She was morbidly obese and I was very happy when she first started dropping the weight, very quickly too. I cheered her on and truly felt happy for her, until,, she was below my weight, and then below 200, and then even lower. Thats when I got on my high horse and started with the "what the hell, she didn't "earn" it, she didn't work at it, why should the weight fall off her and not me?
    She has still kept the weight off for over a year Now that her stomach is pretty much back to normal size and she is eating "normal" sized meals, and still struggles with balancing her diet. I don't think she truly got over her food issues and overeating in general.
  • lawandadees
    lawandadees Posts: 2 Member
    what you done to lose it
  • FierceLisa
    FierceLisa Posts: 38 Member
    Congrats on your loss thus far :) My Mother & My Bother both have had Gastric Bypass. I have chosen to do my weight loss on my own by changing my lifestyle & becoming more active. Having seen it from both angles each to their own. Everyone has their own journey and any decision you choose requires sacrifice and hard work mentally & physically. You may think having Gastric Bypass is the easy way out etc. but let me tell you it's hard as well. They had to ease back into food slowly. Then there is lots of supplements they have to take because of absorption issues. They still want to eat and still have cravings. They just physically can not fit it anymore. They both also can not handle any excess of sugar without making them both ill. They suffer loose skin from losing it that fast. On the other hand they both are still quite happy with their decision. Their health has really improved since as well. They both still have to watch what they eat etc. so they don't gain it back. It does take a lifestyle change though as well to be successful.
  • rhileyschubbygranny
    rhileyschubbygranny Posts: 145 Member
    My brother-in-law and his wife both had gastric bypass a couple of years ago. They both lost a ton of weight but the immediately gained it all back (plus more in my BIL case) once they were given the okay to eat a bit more normally. The never changed their eating habits one ioda. You HAVE so you WILL be much more successful and should be VERY proud of yourself!!
  • jardin12
    jardin12 Posts: 62 Member
    From what I have heard gastric bypass can be pretty awful - a friend of my mothers did a lot of throwing up, even when she was out to lunch with her friends. That can't be healthy! Or fun! The people around you will have some wins and some losses, you have to run your own race - literally! Enjoy every drop of sweat and every sore muscle because you are working hard at being healthy.

    Oh and nothing worth doing comes easy!
  • janesmith1
    janesmith1 Posts: 1,511 Member
    It seems easy at first I guess, I don't have it & have never considered it. But I can't imagine the supplements, the vit b12 shots forever, & so many gain it all back. It might not be a year but so many do. Carnie Wilson for instance has had 2 WL surgeries. I think it's best if we learn better eating habits rather than taking that route, but people do what they want/need to do. For me, I need to learn how to do cals & exercise.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Seriously, do not be pissed off. Surgery is a dangerous thing. She will have to live with the issues and possible complications of her surgery. It is certainly not the easy route as some people think, it is the hardest. You, my friend have the easy route. Just be supportive to her and yourself. You both need it. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss.:flowerforyou:
  • ball_FXDWG
    ball_FXDWG Posts: 44 Member
    There are many positives and many negatives to surgery. It is extremely easy at first, and really takes little effort to lose a lot of weight. It isn't a miracle weight loss surgery for the rest of your life however. You still need to make changes and major changes at that. It is extremely easy to for the majority of people who have had surgery to eventually start gaining weight again especially the longer out from surgery you are. It is also common for people to substitute a different destructive behavior in place of overeating when the underlying issues aren't addressed.

    It is also extremely expensive and very time consuming, not even considering the cost of the surgery itself if insurance isn't available. I have to plan what I'm going to eat and prepare for it all the time. I simply can't eat certain things. Yesterday at work we had an anniversary and lunch catered. There were about 500 people in the cafeteria I was in, and I was eating my normal lunch of fruit and a protein bar, after about the 50th person commented about what I was eating in lieu of the catered lunch I was over it. Thankfully over the years I have really worked on taking my own personal inventory and trying to never take others, so I remembered Id rather eat fruit with a minor annoyance than be 500 pounds and the person everyone was staring at in disgust.

    For reference I'm a little over 7 years out from surgery.
  • Love_Is_My_Fuel
    Love_Is_My_Fuel Posts: 211 Member
    There are many positives and many negatives to surgery. It is extremely easy at first, and really takes little effort to lose a lot of weight. It isn't a miracle weight loss surgery for the rest of your life however. You still need to make changes and major changes at that. It is extremely easy to for the majority of people who have had surgery to eventually start gaining weight again especially the longer out from surgery you are. It is also common for people to substitute a different destructive behavior in place of overeating when the underlying issues aren't addressed.

    It is also extremely expensive and very time consuming, not even considering the cost of the surgery itself if insurance isn't available. I have to plan what I'm going to eat and prepare for it all the time. I simply can't eat certain things. Yesterday at work we had an anniversary and lunch catered. There were about 500 people in the cafeteria I was in, and I was eating my normal lunch of fruit and a protein bar, after about the 50th person commented about what I was eating in lieu of the catered lunch I was over it. Thankfully over the years I have really worked on taking my own personal inventory and trying to never take others, so I remembered Id rather eat fruit with a minor annoyance than be 500 pounds and the person everyone was staring at in disgust.

    For reference I'm a little over 7 years out from surgery.

    Really great to have a different perspective on it, thanks :) and congrats for keeping it off all these years.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    two different tools in the end the prescription will be the same reduced portions and movement
  • MiaAnjuli
    MiaAnjuli Posts: 12
    At this point I say it doesn't matter. She's already had the surgery, so I think you should support her and try to help her change her lifestyle so that the surgery will be worth it. And she can keep the weight off. I am one that thinks most people can do it without surgery. But what's done is done, and there's no going back. And hopefully she will change her life for the better.

Categories