When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies

Maybe I grew up in a progressive family as well...to be quite frank I have never hated my body...I have high self esteem (maybe too high) so confidence has never been my issue...

I had barbies but never "dreamed" of looking like her...

My mom "dieted" I could never figur out why she looked amazing at 30 after having 5 kids.

I grew up in the same society as all the other woman here ( in my age group that being 40 something)

As a matter of fact I was told I needed to lose weight to find a decent looking man...I didn't diet...I met the hottest young fella (he's 9 years younger than me) who fell hard and we were married in under a year...he's not fat...see ticker...he's hot and loves me regardless of my size...

So why did I lose weight cause I wanted to...my knees hurt, my hip hurt, I was weak and couldn't do stuff I wanted to do...screw that.

Society doesn't dictate how you feel unless you let it and a book blaming everything but the reader for their issues is a slap in the face to all of those like me who grew up in the same society and don't have those "issues".

Eh, I also grew up without "issues," and have a hard time relating to women who have body image problems. That said, I don't think I'm better or tougher than they are because I didn't succumb to a lot of society's bull****. Different people are different, and grew up in different environments than I did--I'm not going to judge them for having issues I'm lucky to have escaped or pretend that major cultural problems aren't real just because they didn't affect me.

This exactly. It's wonderful that you haven't suffered from any of these issues but it's nothing to feel superior about. That's like feeling superior to someone with clinical depression because you haven't experienced it yourself.

Don't assume I feel superior to anyone...I don't...

But this is what I am talking about...women who assume because I don't blame society for the woes of woman I feel superior....I stand by my statement...

Society doesn't make you feel anyway you don't let them...and those "issues" are real but it's not society that is to blame....

I lived in a house where a woman dieted my entire life, where my own sister told me I "had" to lose weight to find a decent looking man...ah hello...but I chose not to let it hurt my self worth...how is that feeling "superior" or judging in anyway?

And to be frank it is this sort of "discussion" that allows women to wallow, "It's not your fault you feel bad about yourself.....evil society did it to you...don't you worry it's not you...it's everyone else that is to blame"....I don't get it..stand up be strong and give yourself the self worth don't wait for someone else to do it. And to top it all off by doing that you are raising daughters and sons with more self worth, self confidence and self esteem..

And to top it all off if this is a "major" cultural issue then why isn't Ken being addressed, why aren't Calvin Klein Underware models being addressed...where is that side of it??? Oh right it's only women who are repressed and "made" feel bad because of their bodies...*rolls eyes*

You ladies are more then welcome to feel the way you do...but that's on you it's your feelings, you choose them...it's like the saying says..."You can't control others just how YOU react" or "you teach people how to treat you"

I used to love my barbies, but never wanted to look like her, of course I didn't want to look like raggedy ann either.

You shouldn't hate your body, but being overweight, not just a couple of pounds, is not healthy. Encouraging others in their weight loss efforts, even younger girls, is good if they need to do it for health reasons. The problem is, especially for younger girls, it is hard to separate losing weight to be healthy verses losing weight to look better.

TL;DR. Let's inject a little manly common sense in to this. Why not stop reading "beauty" magazines, watching Bravo, and worrying what your catty friends think?

this.

i'm a woman and have been all my life, hell i'm a black woman, i'm even supposedly less valued. my friends and i never wasted time whining about the the *kitten* we werent entitled to (sorry but that's what a lot of women whining about beauty standards sounds like TO ME) and just got out there and worked for the stuff we wanted.

people aren't required to think you're the most beautiful person in the world or that you're beautiful at all. just believe it yourself and get your *kitten* done. it's called SELF esteem for a reason

This.

That said, the responses are following a pattern often seen when someone mentions finally recognizing an issue that stems from their childhood. Essentially "yeah, but you're an adult now" or "I had those circumstances too, and yet no ill effects from it."

So, while I personally prefer the manly approach (raising a glass of single malt to that commenter), I'd like to suggest a little tolerance for different experiences. Some people have trouble with stuff that didn't even register as a blip on your personal radar.

Sometimes people don't realize what's been going on until 20-, 30-, 40-, 50-something (or later!). Having that realization and saying it doesn't mean they're wallowing. Now, if they stop there & use it as an excuse over time...that's wallowing. No reason we can't let someone name their demon and encourage them in taming or disposing of it.

Okay, that's as much of a chickflick moment as I can take for now. Having an urge to go fire up the barbeque and grunt approvingly while some sizable piece of cow sears. I leave you with something said about Katharine Hepburn:
"She was a model woman, not beholden to any social construct of what a woman should be."

ETA: while I agree w/Mesha wholeheartedly, I'm *not* a black woman - mine was a diff kind of minority experience. Clarifying so as not to appear claiming something I'm not!