This doesn't seem right whatsoever

Leskent
Leskent Posts: 6
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello All,

I'm a newbie, just finishing up my first week here. I realize that I may not understand how all this works, so I'm hoping someone with more knowledge can enlighten me.

Hubby and I joined the site together. I'm 39, he's 40. We have four kids 12 and under.

I'm 5' 3.5" and weigh somewhere between 130 and 135 (it fluctuates). Over the 12 years that I've been having my kids, the lowest my weight has been is about 110 (nursing always took alot off me) and got up to maybe 145 by the end of each pregnancy. My average weight since my mid teens has been about 120. In otherwords, I've never really had a weight problem, never counted calories, always had a fairly active lifestyle but did so without thinking much about it. I've never formally exercised on a regular basis except for a stint in university.
I joined the site however because my current weight reflects a gain of about 10-15 pounds since I stopped nursing my last one (about 2-3 years ago). I don't look bad, but I hate the flabby baby tummy, hate the feeling of pressure around my gut when I sit down, and since I'll be 40 this year, I figure I should start something proactive so that I don't see this trend continue.

Hubby was a beanpole when I married him (about 165) and over our nearly 18 years of marriage has gained a bunch. I believe he logged in here at 235. He does not exercise, save for a once a week karate class he takes the kids to. (he participates).

The part here that does not seem right WHATSOEVER is the numbers that came up when we planned out our diet regimens.

To lose the 15 pounds I desired, mfp says I can only eat 1200 calories a day. This didn't mean much to me until I started logging and was positively shocked at how quickly that got used up. I had only planned to exercise M-W-F but I ended up throwing some stationary bike in on T-Th just to be able to eat supper! I'll admit we're not healthy eating fanatics, but I've always thought we were pretty balanced. We rarely eat out, we don't drink, I make alot of stuff from scratch and don't use a huge amount of processed stuff. I found this very discouraging and it's been a pretty hungry week for me keeping to that 1200.

Hubs on the other hand figures he'd like to get down to 200. So he's losing more than double the weight I plan to. And he doesn't exercise hardly at all. Mfp has given him 2500 calories!! The kicker is that he's made absolutely NO changes to his what he eats--he still eats the cookies, the chips, all the snacky crap, and still each day this week he's had WELL over 1000 calories left over!! I'm scratching to make it to the end of the day and he's eating a chocolate bar with his evening tea and gloating!!

How can this be right?

Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Men in general require more calories. Height and weight also come into play here. So yes, it makes perfect sense that he gets to have more calories than you. It sucks, I agree. You just have to make it work. You can still eat the same stuff he does, you just have to be more strict with your portions and plan accordingly.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    Men can consume more calories because our bodies are bigger and we *usually* have more muscle.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    With such a small amount of weight to lose, your goal should be set to lose .5 lb. per week.

    The smaller you are, the fewer calories you require. Your MFP calorie goal has your deficit built in, so you need to eat back at least half your exercise calories. If you want to eat more, exercise.

    Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-Sexypants
  • wide2bride
    wide2bride Posts: 30
    all you need to know is that if you make proper choices, balanced meals and don't wait until the point that your starving to eat...you will lose weight. 1200 may be too low for you or too aggressive of a cut. with that many children running around i'm willing to bet you are still fairly active. Try making some small changes. One meal at a time. One day at a time and be patient :)
  • LessthanKris
    LessthanKris Posts: 607 Member
    I have a 1200 net. It stinks but with working out, I usually get between 1450 and 1600. I work out six days a week. It takes some adjustment to learning new portion sizes. I really never get the full feeling so I really had to learn to be satisfied with just not eating as much of the things I like. I am still working on getting healthier foods in my diet but I really do eat a little of whatever I want and can even save some calories for my rest day.

    What is your goal to lose every week set at? You may want to lower it to and just have a slower loss without feeling like you are starving yourself. I think for 10-15 lbs you should aim for 0.5 lb loss every week.
  • Leskent
    Leskent Posts: 6
    Don't want to seem dense, but what does it mean to 'eat back your exercise calories'? I read this in the newbie post links but I don't get it. Does this mean if I exercise and 'lose' 200 calories, I need to eat 100 extra calories? I thought the program did that for me already?
  • sue_stef
    sue_stef Posts: 194 Member
    I feel your pain
    my hubs has decided to eat better to lose some weight because we are in our early 40s and he figured he would be supportive (I'm happy for him really) I keep reminding him that as a man he does not have to eat what little I do he can have more

    he can give up one thing keep everything else the same and the weight falls off him
    me ?
    nope I have to watch every morsel and move A LOT

    it is just something they have going for them

    it can take some getting used to eating 1200 calories
    but you can do it
  • moontyrant
    moontyrant Posts: 160 Member
    Your husband is literally twice your size. His calories are a little more than double yours, which means the program is functioning. Someone who is bigger needs to eat more because they are moving more mass to do daily activities. If it really bothers you, adjust your weightloss goal to .5 lbs a week. Build muscles so that you can get away with eating more. Load up on fibrous foods like vegetables, fruits and whole grains. I didn't think I ate poorly until I started tracking, and then I found there were plenty of ways to make cuts to my diet and save calories. Do that.
  • Leskent
    Leskent Posts: 6
    When I filled out all the beginning info, I didn't really understand why it was asking me how many pounds per week I wanted to lose. I figured if I told it I wanted to lose 15 pounds, it would set me on a course to do this and I didn't really care how many per week that turned out to be. So I just picked 2 pounds a week. :ohwell: I think mfp automatically put me at 1 point something pounds a week though, which I didn't understand---why did it ask me if it was just going to pick a different rate per week?
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    With such a small amount of weight to lose, your goal should be set to lose .5 lb. per week.

    The smaller you are, the fewer calories you require. Your MFP calorie goal has your deficit built in, so you need to eat back at least half your exercise calories. If you want to eat more, exercise.

    Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-Sexypants

    This.


    I'd also recommend lifting or some other form of resistance training for body composition.
  • LessthanKris
    LessthanKris Posts: 607 Member
    Eating back your exercise calories means if you burn 200 calories exercising, you can eat back 200. Some on here to not eat back that much because sometimes MFP overestimates the calories burned for an exercise.

    MFP does not include exercise in its formula. So the number it gives is how much you can eat with no activity outside of your daily routine.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    When I filled out all the beginning info, I didn't really understand why it was asking me how many pounds per week I wanted to lose. I figured if I told it I wanted to lose 15 pounds, it would set me on a course to do this and I didn't really care how many per week that turned out to be. So I just picked 2 pounds a week. :ohwell: I think mfp automatically put me at 1 point something pounds a week though, which I didn't understand---why did it ask me if it was just going to pick a different rate per week?

    That's probably because it won't set you any lower than 1200 calories. It's likely that the 1000 calorie deficit required to lose 2 lbs per week would put your intake below 1200 calories.

    I'd reset it for half a pound per week. Log accurately with food scale, and eat back half of your exercise calories. That will give you more to eat.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    What does it mean to 'eat back your exercise calories'? I read this in the newbie post links but I don't get it. Does this mean if I exercise and 'lose' 200 calories, I need to eat 100 extra calories? I thought the program did that for me already?
    MFP uses your age, height, sex & activity level to estimate how many calories you burn per day. (An overweight male burns many more calories than a small woman.) You choose a weight loss goal (again, for you it should be .5 lb. per week), and MFP gives you a calorie goal. Then you log your exercise, and the estimated burn is added to your calorie goal. The calories you eat minus your exercise calories is your net calories.

    All the calorie counts & burns are estimates. Some people reduce the margin of error by eating back half their exercise calories.
  • LessthanKris
    LessthanKris Posts: 607 Member
    When I filled out all the beginning info, I didn't really understand why it was asking me how many pounds per week I wanted to lose. I figured if I told it I wanted to lose 15 pounds, it would set me on a course to do this and I didn't really care how many per week that turned out to be. So I just picked 2 pounds a week. :ohwell: I think mfp automatically put me at 1 point something pounds a week though, which I didn't understand---why did it ask me if it was just going to pick a different rate per week?

    To lose 2 lbs a week you would have had to go below a 1200 calories, which is unhealthy.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    When I filled out all the beginning info, I didn't really understand why it was asking me how many pounds per week I wanted to lose. I figured if I told it I wanted to lose 15 pounds, it would set me on a course to do this and I didn't really care how many per week that turned out to be. So I just picked 2 pounds a week. :ohwell: I think mfp automatically put me at 1 point something pounds a week though, which I didn't understand---why did it ask me if it was just going to pick a different rate per week?

    That's probably because it won't set you any lower than 1200 calories. It's likely that the 1000 calorie deficit required to lose 2 lbs per week would put your intake below 1200 calories.

    I'd reset it for half a pound per week. Log accurately with food scale, and eat back half of your exercise calories. That will give you more to eat.

    This is good advice. With where you are, you should not be trying to lose weight quickly.

    Also - what activity level did you choose? Very few people are actually sedentary. A higher activity level assumption will add more calories. But ultimately, you will need to adjust based on results experienced.

    It is important to read up and not blindly apply the tool. The assumptions you make are very important. Be informed.

    For those looking for a clear explanation of weight loss: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/952996-level-obstacles-lose-weight-target-fat-easy

    Trying to figure out how to get started?: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    Confused about all those crazy acronyms? http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1069278-acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6

    For excellent information about fitness and nutrition, I highly suggest checking out and joining this group:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    When I filled out all the beginning info, I didn't really understand why it was asking me how many pounds per week I wanted to lose. I figured if I told it I wanted to lose 15 pounds, it would set me on a course to do this and I didn't really care how many per week that turned out to be. So I just picked 2 pounds a week. :ohwell: I think mfp automatically put me at 1 point something pounds a week though, which I didn't understand---why did it ask me if it was just going to pick a different rate per week?

    Well that explains why your goal is so low.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    In case it hasn't been stated yet, MFP already calculates a deficit. So eat back your exercise calories. Also, like Achrya stated, the calories are so low because you told it 2 pounds a week. With only 10-15 pounds to go, you should aim for 1/2 pound per week.

    My husband is 6'1" and about 240, trying to get down to 190. He eats 2000 calories a day. I'm 5'1/2" and 128, wanting to lose about 5 pounds (or less, I'm focusing on losing body fat and maintaining or adding a bit of muscle), and I get 1600 including exercise (a bit more on intense workout days). It's not fair! :laugh: but yeah, taller guys who weigh more definitely need more calories, even when losing weight, than us short girls.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I'll admit we're not healthy eating fanatics, but I've always thought we were pretty balanced.

    Yet many of those healthy eating "fanatics" figured out that they can keep the calories low by putting in a ton of nutritious, high density, low calories foods that keep the weight off, but their bellies full.

    One snickers bar = 250 calories
    One medium potato, one apple, one cup of strawberries = 250 calories

    You're a relatively small woman trying to get smaller. The key to filling up on a small calorie allotment is to put far more fruits and veggies into your diet, so you can be satisfied on low calorie, filling foods.

    Of course increasing your exercise and eating back those calories will add even more.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Google "BRM calculator" and run the numbers for you and your husband. That'll show you why he gets to eat twice as much. It's exactly the same as why a Dachsund eats less than a Pit Bull.
  • rf1170
    rf1170 Posts: 180 Member
    hi there! I'm going to suggest something beyond deprivation, which rarely works out long term. if you're hungry, you should eat more, regardless of what a website tells you or your husband. you sound like you're in pretty good health, and it seems like you've been able to rely on your hunger cues up until now. slow, steady weight gain can happen to all of us, especially as we get a little older, a little busier with our kids, and a little less mindful of our health. the good thing is that slow and steady weight loss can happen just as easily.

    if I were you, I'd use MFP simply to track your current eating habits without really changing anything. are you continuing to gain weight right now, or has it leveled off? if you've leveled off, that's good, because it means that you're eating enough to sustain your current weight, but not to gain any more. if you're continuing to gain, well, that obviously means that you're eating more than you need to fuel your activity. if you want to lose weight, you can eat slightly less than what you need to maintain your current weight, and it WILL happen. maybe slowly, but it'll be a lot easier than feeling like you're starving while watching the scale move down. the thing is, no one can tell you how many calories you need to consume to do that. the only way to know for sure is to track what you're eating and monitor your weight. so, like I said, if you start by simply keeping track of your current habits, you'll have a baseline from which you can subtract a few hundred calories each day. and hopefully, by making small, incremental changes at first, you'll feel better about the transition, and less likely to feel deprived. good luck!
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    Is your husband logging everything he eats accurately? If he's allotted 2500 calories, and he's eating chips and candy bars, and only totaling 1500 calories, that sounds like it's all he eats. Just doesn't sound quite right to me.

    As for your 1200. As everyone says, are you set to lose 0.5 lbs per week? And, if you follow the 1200 NET for a few weeks, and see where it lands you, you might be able to bump it up.

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