How can others do it but i cant?

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lovelypink13
lovelypink13 Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
I have to admit I live a life believing I'm happy but I am truly no. At barely 20 should be enjoying every single moment but instead i am hiding because I don't like he way i look. I went years being conceded (i admit) being the pretty girl at school that could have any guy i liked. since i gained weight I hate just the simple idea of shopping when I am used to no wearing the same thing twice i know i am just complaining but I envy the people that can wake up and say today" I am going to change".
I want to look in the mirror and be my old self again, instead of crying every time I look through my closet and i cant wear the pretty skirts i used to because i have cottage cheese legs with stretch marks. How can so many get the courage and say today will be the day and not go and eat a peace of cake?
I know i am depressed though i don't show it and i think because of this its really making my relationship fall apart. I want to be that confident person i used to be when my bf met me.

I need help!

Replies

  • PocketNaomi
    PocketNaomi Posts: 62
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    I really encourage you to talk to a doctor or a counselor about the depression. You CAN lose weight, but first you need to get your emotional pain and misery under control... nobody can manage the motivation to lose weight when they feel so awful it's overwhelming them and making them unable to focus their energies! Find out whether you are clinically depressed, and if so, whether counseling, cognitive therapy, medication, or some combination or other treatment might be able to help you. If you don't acknowledge the depression to people who can help you, you can't get it treated! If you do acknowledge it and get medical help in dealing with it, you'll probably find that the motivation to do things you want to do, and become the person you want to be -- in terms of your weight or anything else -- comes a whole lot more easily than you can even imagine right now, with all that depression and pain weighing on you. I've been clinically depressed in the past, and I have a chronic physical illness now... I know how much they can sap your will and motivation if you let them go without medical care. Please help yourself by letting a professional help you, and *then* see whether your motivation to achieve what you want to achieve comes more easily. I bet it will.

    *hugs* and sympathy,

    Naomi
  • louloup
    louloup Posts: 87 Member
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    I am sorry that you are feeling this low about yourself. :frown:
    I think the only difference between you and the people that do lose weight is that they too felt like you do and then decided that was the last day they were going to feel that way. They usually reach their own "bottom" and say enough is enough.

    Don't get me wrong. It has taken me since April to lose 15lbs. Its a hard slog and some days I am super healthy and other days I want to do nothing and eat junk food.

    I think weight loss is a battle that is played in the mind and if you can win that battle then you are halfway there.:smile:

    Decide today, make good choices and move more. I promise you will see a difference and that will spur you on.
    You will soon be back in your pretty clothes.
    Good luck:happy:
  • Luckymam
    Luckymam Posts: 300
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    I totally understand. I'm so demotivated at the moment that I don't know what to do. I've lost so much weight, but just mentally can't sort myself out enough to lose the last 30lbs. I stopped logging on here for a while as I couldn't bear to see how much food I was eating on a daily basis!

    It really is your head you need to sort out. We all know what we should be eating, that we need to exercise, etc. It's getting into that mindset that allows us to do it. I really think that, food is to me, what alcohol is to alcoholics. Alcoholics KNOW they need to stop drinking, but they need to be in a place MENTALLY that will allow them to do that.

    I wish I could get to that place again where I was 6 months ago!
  • randyv99
    randyv99 Posts: 257 Member
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    Souns like your weight gain might have been love weight that slowly crept up on you and is now causing you to hate yourself. I am not a licensed counselor but I have worked in mental health for several years and am currently serving as a Mental Health Specialist. As someone struggling with the same things you are and as someone who works in the mental health field I need you to acknowledge that your emotional health and your physical health are very cloesly intertwined.

    Don't deny yourself what you know. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Don't struggle in silence. Do seek out support (as you alreay have). And seek out professional help from your physicians and counselors.

    I found that we are most apt to ignore the things we know we shouldn't until it's too late. Until we see a family member (or we ourseles) suffer a stroke, heart attack, suicide, or other life changing event. You are not alone and do not have to suffer alone. I'm planning to study policy and helth management so that we can secure ways of people who already feel outcast or uncomfortable in their own bodies and mind not to feel ostracized from society as well.

    Depression is a serious condition and cannot be dealt with by just cheering yourself up. Reach out to a professional, you'd be amazed what homeopathic, allopathic, osteopathic and psychopharmacologic therapies are available (and not for very much out of your pocket). Utilize your EAP if you have one or get a referral from a PCP if you don't. If you're unemployed and underinsured or cost is prohibiting you from seeking help, don't let it. There are many aid programs among municipalities and states for you to receive the services you need.

    No one is going through exactly what you are going through but still you are not alone. There are those in your life and here on MFP that can provide support. I can sympathize, many can empathize and I'm sure everyone wishes you the best. Good luck on your journey. The road is hard. It won't be easy but you are wroth it.
  • randyv99
    randyv99 Posts: 257 Member
    Options
    Souns like your weight gain might have been love weight that slowly crept up on you and is now causing you to hate yourself. I am not a licensed counselor but I have worked in mental health for several years and am currently serving as a Mental Health Specialist. As someone struggling with the same things you are and as someone who works in the mental health field I need you to acknowledge that your emotional health and your physical health are very cloesly intertwined.

    Don't deny yourself what you know. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Don't struggle in silence. Do seek out support (as you alreay have). And seek out professional help from your physicians and counselors.

    I found that we are most apt to ignore the things we know we shouldn't until it's too late. Until we see a family member (or we ourseles) suffer a stroke, heart attack, suicide, or other life changing event. You are not alone and do not have to suffer alone. I'm planning to study policy and helth management so that we can secure ways of people who already feel outcast or uncomfortable in their own bodies and mind not to feel ostracized from society as well.

    Depression is a serious condition and cannot be dealt with by just cheering yourself up. Reach out to a professional, you'd be amazed what homeopathic, allopathic, osteopathic and psychopharmacologic therapies are available (and not for very much out of your pocket). Utilize your EAP if you have one or get a referral from a PCP if you don't. If you're unemployed and underinsured or cost is prohibiting you from seeking help, don't let it. There are many aid programs among municipalities and states for you to receive the services you need.

    No one is going through exactly what you are going through but still you are not alone. There are those in your life and here on MFP that can provide support. I can sympathize, many can empathize and I'm sure everyone wishes you the best. Good luck on your journey. The road is hard. It won't be easy but you are wroth it.

    Wow! I sure get to pontificating sometimes. Short version of all that: take care of yourself,! Friend me,
  • robynrae_1
    robynrae_1 Posts: 712 Member
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    Every journey starts with a small step.
    I never had an AHH moment that changed things for me. I was struggling with my weigh trying to control it but it just keeped going up. I final stopped trying to fix everything a once, and just started by dealing with my main problem...Sugar. Sugar for me is an addiction, once I start I can't stop. So I started by SLOWLY reducing the amount of sugar I ate. I also have better luck controling my eating than I do with being able to workout everyday. (If you do better with the working out start there.)

    My husband loves to workout it is an addiction for him. Everytiime I would start a program I would fail, especially when I compared myself to him. Which always made me feel like a failure. Working out is just blah to me, I know it has benifits. I fit what I can in and don't worry about what I can't do.
  • lovelypink13
    lovelypink13 Posts: 19
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    I thank everybody for the replys. I believe like luckmam said food is my addiction it becomes my comfort when i cant feel comfort in anything else. I have come to realize that its time i find help with the problems i have.
    what do i have to lose right?

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