Suddenly lacking all motivation

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I don't know what is wrong with me. For the last year I have been on track and doing great! Then in October I decided to stop losing weight for the holidays. I know it sounds silly, but I was dropping about a size a month and the sheer $$ spent on clothing was going to kill my budget for christmas presents for my 12 year old daughter. My plan was to maintain my weight, that didn't happen.

Fast forward to January 1st. I am up double digits (most of which I have lost) I got promoted at work and started my much more stressful job and my exbf FINALLY moved out of my house so I am living alone for only the second time in my adult life. (My daughter lives with her dad during the week and I have her on weekends because of the location of her school.) I am having a very difficult time sticking with the diet and exercise program I was doing so well with last year! I want to do it, I'll eat healthy all day, and then at night I will eat a bunch of crap. I want to go workout, but I am dressed and have been sitting on the couch for hours now instead of actually heading to the gym.

Anyone have any words of advice for me? I feel like I need someone to kick me in the butt every evening anymore!

Oh, and for those of you wondering, I am not yet at my goal weight. I'm not sure how much more but I'm guessing 20-30 pounds at this point. My real goal is for my tummy to be gone. I've already dropped from a size 22 to a 6.

Replies

  • AuroraCoL
    AuroraCoL Posts: 18 Member
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    I think you should do your best to set realistic goals for yourself. it's absolutely amazing how far you've come, and it's understandable that you feel a bit burned out. How much do you want to lose each week? Half a pound? Are you ready to seriously work on weight maintenance?
  • Nadine624
    Nadine624 Posts: 22 Member
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    Hmmm... I tend to be happy when it's around 2 pounds a week lost. I don't think I'm actually at a maintenance place yet, I look good in clothes, but without is still a different story and I want to feel good about how I look!

    Maybe I am a little burnt out, but I am stubborn and really want to finish this journey!
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
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    I think you learned a valuable lesson from this. No half measures. There is no neutral in life. You are either moving forward or falling behind. For every thing in life there are a million reasons to do it, and a million reasons not to do it. You have been choosing from the "Not To" side. And that's fine. Maybe tomorrow you will choose from the other side. All I know is, and I think you are seeing this now as well, every time you choose from one side you are that much more likely to choose from the same side tomorrow. And so on and so on and so on. One day, maybe tomorrow... choose differently.
  • Belinda170
    Belinda170 Posts: 23 Member
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    I'm a cautionary tale.

    I also lost about 100 pounds in 2002 to about a size 8. I kept it off for several years, through a move across country, a breakup, my mom dying etc. But then I got 'tired' and started eating whatever when I got into a new relationship. 20 turned into 40 turned into 50. Then I had a very stressful period about 3 years ago. I ate my feelings and now I'm 300 pounds. I'm not saying that'll happen to you but I'm saying if I could have just reminded myself about how crappy I felt before I worked so hard to lose the weight.

    You're going through a lot of change right now, and it sounds like a lot of it is good, but it's all stress. Avoid letting it get you so off track that you give up.
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
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    Ok you had a lot happen and it sounds to me like you are tired and just giving in. Been there done that. Here are some tips that have helped me:

    1- Don't buy any junk. You are living alone, just keep what you need in the house to make sure you can eat and your daughter on weekends. Won't change the amount you eat, but at least won't be junk.
    2- Don't stop home, bring your gym clothes and go straight to workout.
    3- Work out in the morning. I find I do better if I workout in the morning, it sets the stage for the day
    4- Home workouts - Videos, weights, or just get up and walk during commercials

    2 lb a week may be a lofty goal to set for yourself now that you have less to lose. Maybe try for 1/2lb a week for a little while and then slowly increase or update.
  • elbie628
    elbie628 Posts: 7 Member
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    For the exercise side of things, I won't let myself go more than 2 days exercising in some way. And, in fact, when I lost motivation around the holidays, I made a deal with myself that if I went 4+ times per week for a month, I would reward myself (something non-food that you really love. For me, it was a pedicure.). I found that once I made it through that month, I was back in the habit of working out and back to realizing the feel-good benefits of exercise.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Hmmm... I tend to be happy when it's around 2 pounds a week lost. I don't think I'm actually at a maintenance place yet, I look good in clothes, but without is still a different story and I want to feel good about how I look!

    Maybe I am a little burnt out, but I am stubborn and really want to finish this journey!
    2 lbs a week is a bit aggressive if you're only looking to lose about 20 lbs now. Certainly not realistic based on your profile picture. Maybe that's part of the problem. Perhaps try a smaller calorie deficit that's easier to live with and will give you a more appropriate rate of loss for the amount of fat you have stored now.

    Try and take it back to basics. Write down all the reasons you want to do this. Focus on meeting your (increased?) calorie goal and look at where else you want to make changes. Don't be too radical though. Make changes you can live with. Part of your mind is obviously resisting feeling like you're on a diet, so try to avoid that. Maybe don't divide foods into "healthy" and "crap" but focus on meeting your calorie goal while getting plenty of nutrients. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Losing weight isn't easy, don't make it harder on yourself that it has to be.

    Set yourself small targets regarding exercise. Sometimes when you get out of the habit, it really is just mind of matter and you just have to make yourself do it. You're already dressed, so force yourself to make the next step - get out of the door. Get to the gym. Make yourself set foot in the gym. From there, it will be a lot easier. You might stay for 5 minutes, but it's a lot more likely that you'll stay longer and have a decent workout. And then, the next time will be a little bit easier, and you'll get back in the groove. If you come to the conclusion that you're really not enjoying your gym workouts, then maybe it's time to try something different that you will enjoy.
  • jos05
    jos05 Posts: 263 Member
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    GIRL! You've come sooooo far!!!

    I used to be a size 24W and I am down to size 8! Don't be so hard on yourself! Find an activity that you like to do...and do it! :)

    Don't be so hard on yourself!!!
  • niqu11
    niqu11 Posts: 84 Member
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    You've made great progress, congrats! When I'm feeling unmotivated or in a rut, I like to mix things up. Try a different class at the gym or treat yourself to a new workout DVD. Having something new to look forward to or be excited about might help!
  • Nadine624
    Nadine624 Posts: 22 Member
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    I just got back home from the gym!

    In fact, I joined a new gym that happens to be in the same parking lot as my store (I'm a retail manager) and now I will make it a habit to head there after work at least 3 days a week! I have no issues with Planet Fitness, but I did miss the group classes and I hope those will keep me motivated to go and maybe I can make some workout friends with the regulars there.

    I think maybe I should become more active on these forums. The support I feel from all of you is very motivating! :happy:
  • janica2333
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    No matter what life throws at you, I'm sure you can conquer it if you try your very best. "Whenever you feel like you want to quit, think of why you started" Don't give up, make time to exercise and have a plan! Talk to other people in your life about this and how about you can go doing this. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" You have to change your mindset in a positive matter. Hope this helped in some way.
  • AllanBell
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    First off, please know that you have come a long way and should be damn proud of it! Never forget that.

    Some mentioned it above, but remember why you started in the first place and what you want to accomplish. Even if it's just a little bit a day, it all helps. Relish every positive decision you make and don't beat yourself up too bad over the "negative" ones.

    Try to find a reason each time to go exercise and what keeps your motivation during it (Netflix helps me!).

    Just know you'll get there and you have lots of friends here to help, because we are all fighting the same battle every day.
  • TXEXrunner
    TXEXrunner Posts: 178 Member
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    Agree with many of the comments above, especially about getting the "crap" food out of the house - remove the temptation. I see you've joined another gym and committed to work outs 3 days a week. Good for you! You obviously know what it takes to get your weight down. Hopefully the gym can help you with maintenance work outs once you achieve your goal. 2 lbs a week sounds like a lot, but not sure what you are willing to do to achieve that. Pace yourself. Finally, Congratulations on how far you have come on your journey - you are amazing!! Now get rid of the junk food in your house!!! (that's the kick in the butt you wanted) :)
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I try to not have food in the house that I will binge on. Also I make a lot of freezer meals. My weeks are hectic! Could you make cooking new, fun things that freeze well a mother daughter thing for when you have her on the weekends?

    Grats on the new job!