The killer question

Cirsium
Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So, I just took a parcel to my neighbours house that got delivered whilst she was out. I've now returned in tears after being asked 'are you, erm...' whilst pointing at my belly.

i had been thinking earlier today how the dress i'm wearing fits much better now. clearly i'm delusional.

Replies

  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    I'm very sorry to hear that.

    A long time ago a co-worker told me there was a hole in my pants and that my butt looked like a white powdered donut. I promptly marched to the liquer store in tears, bought a huge bottle of Apricot Schnapps and cried my eyes out.

    Hate that *****.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Just say 'I'm not pregnant'. You'll make them feel awful too, so at least you won't be the only one feeling bad.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    It's typically women who say this, so here is the proper response, it'll get you a laugh and turn the tables.

    Pretend you didn't quite hear what they said, smile really big, reach for her belly with both hands and say this. "Oh my God! You're pregnant? Congratulations! I thought you had just put on a few extra pounds."

    Rigger
  • gelendestrasse
    gelendestrasse Posts: 204
    That's why I never ask "are you expecting?" Or age. Heck, even relationship status.....
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I will never understand why people think that is an acceptable question to ask...
  • Grendel07
    Grendel07 Posts: 112 Member
    I'm very sorry to hear that.

    A long time ago a co-worker told me there was a hole in my pants and that my butt looked like a white powdered donut. I promptly marched to the liquer store in tears, bought a huge bottle of Apricot Schnapps and cried my eyes out.

    Hate that *****.

    :(((( people are just damn rude (to you and the OP). people need to keep their mouths shut. no one thinks first then speaks.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    So, I just took a parcel to my neighbours house that got delivered whilst she was out. I've now returned in tears after being asked 'are you, erm...' whilst pointing at my belly.

    i had been thinking earlier today how the dress i'm wearing fits much better now. clearly i'm delusional.

    While anyone with a brain and a conscience should know better than to even ask that question, it sucks that that happened to you. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so badly. Just remember that you are on a journey and you haven't reached your first goal yet. You'll get there. You're working on it. You've achieved something already, because you've noticed that your dress fits better. Don't think about what your neighbor so blindly and obtusely asked.
  • Modern_Warrior
    Modern_Warrior Posts: 163
    Since I'm new to all of this fitness stuff, please understand that a 6-year-old asked me the same question. It is part of what has motivated me to push hard, eat smart, and keep going with this. I never want this to happen again. For the OP or anyone else, this is extremely hurtfull. Please don't let it get you down; let this strengthen you as much as possible.
  • ericalyn73
    ericalyn73 Posts: 79
    Throat punch.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    Lol. I got that question too and I was wearing a size 2 at the time. I was not preggo, I had a nice meal ;)

    Don't worry about it.
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    So, I just took a parcel to my neighbours house that got delivered whilst she was out. I've now returned in tears after being asked 'are you, erm...' whilst pointing at my belly.

    i had been thinking earlier today how the dress i'm wearing fits much better now. clearly i'm delusional.

    While anyone with a brain and a conscience should know better than to even ask that question, it sucks that that happened to you. I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so badly. Just remember that you are on a journey and you haven't reached your first goal yet. You'll get there. You're working on it. You've achieved something already, because you've noticed that your dress fits better. Don't think about what your neighbor so blindly and obtusely asked.

    This and the fact that she is your neighbor and obviously sees you often enough to know better - or perhaps she noticed a nice happy glow to you and thought that's why you so looked good? I choose that one make a positive out of the negative!
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
    Ugh, had the same thing happen to me yesterday!! It SUCKS!

    (The only time I find it acceptable is when people are randomly giving me their seats on the subway. If they're going to make bad assumptions, I will happily take that seat and enjoy watching them stand. :blushing: )
  • Wiseandcurious
    Wiseandcurious Posts: 730 Member
    I have always had a naturally round, soft belly, regardless of my weight, and glowing skin. I always got this, periodically. I hated it at first. Then I realized it's just a reflection on our society and values. We feel compelled to celebrate pregnancy, even if that's a highly personal thing, and nobody else's business. On the other hand, any quantity of belly fat is portrayed as uggly (wasn't always like this, still isn't in many corners of the world). Heck, we're so inconsistent we even insult post-birth bodies - "pouch", we say, and commend any woman who can lose it as fast as if it was a badge of shame.

    Now I just say "No, what makes you think that, precisely?" And watch them squirm.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I too as a male was tired of maternity and when is it due jokes. Of course this was mostly from my kids and spouse. While it was in fun it did bother me. I was exercising but eating and drinking what I felt like for the most part. Then it happened, I was standing in McDonalds and was going to get a premium snack wrap. I usually talk myself into some fries but looked at the calorie total. The wrap alone 400 calories, as a combo up to 1300. I cut out sweet tea and any fries chips etc. Thirty six pounds lighter the gut is gone and I feel great. For the ladies, I was told to never ask about pregnancy unless you see the babies head emerging.
  • Krista916
    Krista916 Posts: 258
    It's typically women who say this, so here is the proper response, it'll get you a laugh and turn the tables.

    Pretend you didn't quite hear what they said, smile really big, reach for her belly with both hands and say this. "Oh my God! You're pregnant? Congratulations! I thought you had just put on a few extra pounds."

    Rigger

    OMG! I love this! This is the all time best response!
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    So, I just took a parcel to my neighbours house that got delivered whilst she was out. I've now returned in tears after being asked 'are you, erm...' whilst pointing at my belly.

    i had been thinking earlier today how the dress i'm wearing fits much better now. clearly i'm delusional.

    :( i'm sorry. :flowerforyou: hey i had a relative ask me that question to which i responded no i'm just fat but thanks for pointing it out. shut her right up. a rude question like that deserves a rude answer.
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
    I'm very sorry to hear that.

    A long time ago a co-worker told me there was a hole in my pants and that my butt looked like a white powdered donut. I promptly marched to the liquer store in tears, bought a huge bottle of Apricot Schnapps and cried my eyes out.

    Hate that *****.

    What a thing to say!!!! I'm not surprised you were upset. Some people!
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
    It's typically women who say this, so here is the proper response, it'll get you a laugh and turn the tables.

    Pretend you didn't quite hear what they said, smile really big, reach for her belly with both hands and say this. "Oh my God! You're pregnant? Congratulations! I thought you had just put on a few extra pounds."

    Rigger

    That's so funny - I'm not that quick thinking but I'll try and memorise it :)
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
    Since I'm new to all of this fitness stuff, please understand that a 6-year-old asked me the same question. It is part of what has motivated me to push hard, eat smart, and keep going with this. I never want this to happen again. For the OP or anyone else, this is extremely hurtfull. Please don't let it get you down; let this strengthen you as much as possible.

    I hear you - I've dried the tears now and will just keep on going with it. Sorry it happened to you x
  • holliwood322
    holliwood322 Posts: 92 Member
    I NEVER ask that question, having learned my lesson. i don't care if they are delivering the baby in front of me, I don't ask! BUT... use this to inspire you! You are working toward a goal. KEEP going!
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
    Thank you all for your encouragement
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    It's typically women who say this, so here is the proper response, it'll get you a laugh and turn the tables.

    Pretend you didn't quite hear what they said, smile really big, reach for her belly with both hands and say this. "Oh my God! You're pregnant? Congratulations! I thought you had just put on a few extra pounds."

    Rigger

    :laugh: Love that response.

    The only safe time to ask if one is expecting without previous input is if there is a baby actually being birthed at that moment.
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,679 Member
    Throat punch.

    You stole my response. That was exactly what I was going to say. Throat punch, followed by "Oh sorry! Pregnancy hormones..."
  • Cirsium
    Cirsium Posts: 41 Member
    Throat punch.

    You stole my response. That was exactly what I was going to say. Throat punch, followed by "Oh sorry! Pregnancy hormones..."

    double whammy! brilliant! you've all completely cheered me up :D
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    Oh honey :( I'm sorry.
  • mrsdean4
    mrsdean4 Posts: 17 Member
    It's typically women who say this, so here is the proper response, it'll get you a laugh and turn the tables.

    Pretend you didn't quite hear what they said, smile really big, reach for her belly with both hands and say this. "Oh my God! You're pregnant? Congratulations! I thought you had just put on a few extra pounds."

    Rigger

    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!
  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
    You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
    -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years"

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