co-worker unwanted advise

BootCamper10
BootCamper10 Posts: 20 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
There are a couple of gals in my office who feel free to 'tell me what to eat" criticize me if they see me eat a bag of chips or other non-healthy food. I track even these. It hurts my feelings when they say why are you eating those? don't you have food at your desk or office fridge? when I say ok it was an impulse buy. One gal said you don't need mfp you need someone to walk around with you and slap food out of your hands. I shrugged my shoulders and walked away. How do I handle this unwanted and unmerited advise from 2 gals who need to loose weight themselves. I work out 4 days a week and am now not only tracking my food but working hard to use portion control and these ladies are much younger than me. I need a tougher skin. End of rant.

Replies

  • kk_140
    kk_140 Posts: 518 Member
    Personally? I would look them up and down, shake my head, and click my tongue and say "You're one to talk" in the most rude way I could muster. BUT I understand that isn't the mature or kind way of handling a situation.

    If it is bothering you that much, tell them to stop, that it is none of their business and that you can make your own choices in the kindest way possible.
  • DemoraFairy
    DemoraFairy Posts: 1,806 Member
    If you've already lost weight, just tell them what you're doing seems to be working fine and if you can enjoy junk food and still lose weight, why not?

    If you've just started, you could just try logic. Ask them if they think you would lose weight if you ate nothing everyday. Of course you would. Would you lose weight if you ate nothing but one chip a day? Well, yes, of course. Your body's not going to suddenly gain weight on one chip a day just because it's not strictly healthy. Same with 2 chips a day, or 3 chips a day. So clearly how healthy what you're eating is has nothing to do with how much weight you'll lose. Just tell them it all comes down to calories. Point them in the direction of Mark Haub and the Twinkie diet if they don't believe you.
  • allana1111
    allana1111 Posts: 390 Member
    that sounds rude. I'd tell em its none of their business and you're a grown up who can make decisions yourself!
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    Some people are just trying to be helpful with their tough love. If they didn't care they'd laugh at you behind your back, not try to hold you accountable.

    You should take snacks to the work fridge!

    That's a great idea.
  • jamesnorman_az
    jamesnorman_az Posts: 4 Member
    It's a little aggressive, but if I worked for a large-size company, I'd say contact your HR person for some advice. Maybe even mention the names of the people while you are at it. (Okay, that just turned it into passive-aggressive.)

    Another is direct: "I'm actually doing well on my own, and the rest is between me and my doctor. Meanwhile, if you would like help dressing a little better, I'd be glad to take you shopping."
  • jamesnorman_az
    jamesnorman_az Posts: 4 Member
    I shrugged my shoulders and walked away.

    Actually, forget what I just said. This is actually the correct response.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
    It's hard in work relationships. I had an issue today. Everyone was like "What's wrong?" because they care and they could tell something was up. But I was embarassed with what was wrong and lied about a previous root canal hurting. I felt bad, like a liar, and embarassed, but sometimes I don't want to talk to co-workers about embarassing symptoms of anti-biotic use in women, if you know what I mean!

    But I know they just care, that's why they asked, and I probably look pissed, because it hurts but I'd rather make money than waste my vacation over this. :-/
  • lynleeg88
    lynleeg88 Posts: 104 Member
    Personally? I would look them up and down, shake my head, and click my tongue and say "You're one to talk" in the most rude way I could muster. BUT I understand that isn't the mature or kind way of handling a situation.

    If it is bothering you that much, tell them to stop, that it is none of their business and that you can make your own choices in the kindest way possible.

    ^^ What this person said ^^
  • cmira5ol
    cmira5ol Posts: 1,246 Member
    i don't do well with unsolicited advise
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    "Eyes on your own plate."
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    No one likes The Food Police.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Just let your success do the talking. Once you lose a noticeable amount of weight, instead of saying "You shouldn't be eating that" they'll ask "How come you get to eat that?".
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    I think your results will speak for themselves when they're still on the yo-yo diet train. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore them. They will need to eat their own words one day!
  • runmamarun7
    runmamarun7 Posts: 27 Member
    "Eyes on your own plate."
    Thank you! Exactly! I had a co-worker when i was 8 mths pregnant and eating a snickers bar ask me if I really needed to eat that. I just nodded and said Yep! If you didn't ask for their advice they shouldn't be giving it. Sounds like a couple of bullies to me.
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
    The only time someone said something like that to me, I just asked them why they felt that such a hurtful comment was appropriate. It's not anyone's business what you put in your body unless you actually feel the need to hire a "food-out-of-your-hand-slapper."
  • fitformidlife
    fitformidlife Posts: 103
    Just call them out on what they're doing, and use a question to do it. Rude people rarely know how to respond to that. For example, ask them, "Why do you feel so compelled to play food police for me instead of worrying about yourself?" or "How can you possibly think it's acceptable to constantly make comments on what other people eat?" That puts the onus on them and makes them try to justify their behavior, which they won't be able to do. Thus, they'll probably learn to shut up.
  • love2cycle
    love2cycle Posts: 448 Member
    It's always irritating when someone says something like that making you feel the need to defend it! It's none of their business, but you don't want to be rude. I might just say "I know what I'm doing." and leave it at that.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    I'd probably just tell them that I don't like discussing what I eat or don't eat. If they keep it up, I would ask them why they criticize or give advice on what people are eating, especially at work.

    I wouldn't be so blunt with someone who just seemed curious or something, but these women are being rude and know it, imho.
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Just ignore it. Say "ok" and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but it's hard at work - you don't want to start up any unnecessary drama, etc. I have a new co-worker who could stand to lose a pound or two (or twenty)... I would NEVER say anything to her. She complained one day because I "eat constantly" throughout the day (I think I had a snack around 11am and then lunch at 1pm while at my desk) - it was making her hungry, she said. Finally the other day she brought lunch - mushroom soup. She bragged the entire day about she ate a "zero calorie" soup for lunch and told me she was going to give me the recipe because I should be eating it too. I just bite my tongue. Really hard.

    Incidentally, I've started two other people in my office onto MFP. I started working there after I lost weight and everyone used to comment how I can "eat anything." One day I told my coworker (a different one from above) that I lost almost 70 pounds. A few weeks later, she and another coworker were asking me how I did it, how to use MFP, etc. Now they both use it and we talk about it...it's kind of fun. I guess my point is: just keep doing what you're doing. Either they'll join in or just be jealous. You know what you're doing.
  • BootCamper10
    BootCamper10 Posts: 20 Member
    Thank you, great advise. :)
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