The Moment You Realised it was Possible.

I feel like I can see the light clearly some days, and others... not so much. I definitely go back and forth between feeling and achieving success and feeling hopeless. At one point, I was down 55 lbs and felt great - there was definitely nothing that was going to stop me. And then I got comfortable, too comfortable. I let things slide and gained some back. So, I think maintaining that "can do" / "will do" attitude is definitely tough!.

For me it was when I got below 200 lbs-- I didn't think that I would ever get below but I wanted to--- when I did, I realized how strong I was.

Honestly, for me it was the first 3.5 pound loss I saw on the scale. I had been getting heavier and heavier for a few years and I spent SO MUCH time trying to will my weight away. I spent so much time thinking about how I was going to start losing weight but I never actually did it. I never saw myself as one of those people who couldn't lose weight "no matter what" they did because I never did anything, but I did see myself destined to be fat for the rest of my life. So, by the grace of God I miraculously went to the gym one day and for some reason I kind of liked it. So I went back the next day and the day after that and then I started counting calories and here it is 10 months later. It was so massively incredible to me to see that if I ACTUALLY TRIED that I could in fact lose weight! I do spend some time thinking about when the axe is going to fall and I am going to go back to my old ways and forget how to lose weight again, but then I get over it and remember how many times I've thought that before and it never happened.

I think it was the moment I hit 150 on the scale. My starting weight was 175 and I was often around 155 growing up so 150 wasn't that far off... but when I hit that number I was shocked for some reason and realised "wow, I am actually going to do it!"

"I can't believe that!" said Alice.
"Can't you?" the Queen said in a pitying tone. "Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes."
Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!"

I was 237 lbs when I started and when I went down to 220 lbs that August morning I said to myself "If I can do this, I can go down to 170lbs!". It has now been 6 months and I am down to 192, I am eating healthy, working out everyday including spinning classes with my wife and I am down 2 1/2 pant sizes. Most of all the side effects that I had not even thought of 1) my snoring is gone - according to my wife 2) I have taken maybe 2 or 3 antacids since last summer - this used to be a daily occurrence. I never went anywhere without my TUMS or PEPCID 3) my blood pressure is down to 116/70 and most importantly 4) I just had a colonoscopy (both my parents had colon cancer - my dad died from it) and they found no polyps so I don't have to go back for 5 years.

All this because last May when my son graduated high school, I could not get my suit on or do up my tie and embarssingly I said "enough is enough!". myfitnesspal, my fitbit, my garmin 410 and my determination will get me to 170. Sorry to brag, I really am just a humble polite Canadian but being overweight for 20 years and losing 45lbs is a big accomplishment for me.

When I'd lost enough that looking into the mirror I could almost recognize myself. Even though I weigh 20 lbs less than I did 3 years ago, a friend told me just last night that my face is still "plumper" than it used to be. I don't know if it's age or if those last few pounds put on are going to be the last few pounds to come off because my hips are 6 inches smaller than they were 3 years ago and they were the first to fill out when the weight gain began. But at least I feel like I'm getting somewhere. To have re-entered the 130s for the first time in years is motivating and I know I'm almost there. I can see the light!

I started back in Oct on my weight loss journey. a month later (to the day), i weighed myself and I had lost 6 pounds. It was such a small amount, but I was THRILLED! That's when I realized it was completely possible, but that I'm going to have to work at it everyday. That was the hardest month ever, but it was worth it to see the results. I even had a few pairs of pants that started to fit just a tiny bit better...