the effect of your boyfriends on your diet?

My boyfriend supports my dieting & exercise, as a matter of fact he can be sometimes be down right rude about my current weight, but the terrible flip side is that he also stresses me out to the point where I want to run to comfort food. >>>My advice to all ladies who has a non-supportive boyfriend, keep this part of your life separate, be independent and do your own thing. Being fit and healthy is a sacred thing and does not necessarily require the support of your partner, look at their no-support as motivation.<<<

^^ this right here is perfect. So well said. My boyfriend is now supportive that I have told him how important it is FOR ME to lose weight. I am doing it for myself, not him and perhaps he finds that an attractive quality. As some of you have mentioned, I definitely gained "relationship weight", the kind you gain from eating poorly on dates and just generally not actively caring about my weight -- But now I do!

My boyfriend does not control how much I eat, I do.

Controlling what you eat and supporting you are different. Yes, the boyf can't and shouldn't try to control what you eat, but you should expect some support and encouragement e.g. praise when you do good, help when you're having a bad day, encouragement when you're lacking motivation.

Support is nice, but not required. If you don't get those things from him, get it somewhere else.

Partially agree - yes support is not required, I could do this without his support. But he's great and I like having his support, and having had a supportive boyf I don't think I would want an unsupportive one, if that makes sense.

TBH from what I've read, I think most of the "unsupportive boyfriends" people talk about on the forums are just a bit clueless, and not actually *trying* to be unsupportive. I reackon a conversation about e.g. how to achieve your aims, what kinds of things you want to be eating, and letting him know it makes it harder if he's eating yummy junk food near you would fix most of the problems people talk about- boys don't always think of that stuff themselves!

Sorry your b/f is getting fat. Hopefully you can lose a ton of weight and get a skinny b/f. Good luck!

My wife hates that I stay skinny (*by her standards) and try to eat right. So we always have whole milk and skim milk. Sometimes I'll mix half my skim into her milk so she could lose a pound or 2. And shes always baking crap then looking at me retarded when I get home from the gym and look in the mirror and laughs at me. She's really rude sometimes.

When I first met my fiance, I was 195 (at 5'4") and he was 135 (at 5'9"). I was overweight and he was underweight. Now, I'm 144 and he's 155. Never would have thought I would weigh less than him! He loved me when I was 195 and has been my biggest supporter this whole time. He encourages me to work out and will even go running with me if I don't feel like it, just to motivate me. A lot of times, he'll look at the muscles I'm getting or notice I've lost some weight and it will motivate him to stay in shape, too. We're a team - we motivate each other.

He doesn't track his food, but he knows I do and will ask if I'm allowed to have something/if I've tracked something that looks like a potential cheat food. The only time he "restricts" what I eat is if I ask him to. The most recent example was over Christmas when my boss gave me a 5-lb. gift basket of chocolate. I asked him to help me keep disciplined with it, so he keeps it in a place I can't reach and pulls it down once a week so I can enjoy a piece or two or three. Then it goes back up and away until the following week. That's a system that works for me!

In my case, it's more like MY effect on THEIR diets.

+1. it either takes time, or it doesn't take.

my hubby seems to like my better fat. every time i try to diet he does things that sabotage me like bringing cookies to bed at 10pm! it's crazy. the other day i had to ask him if he cared about my happiness at all. i think that finally woke him up.

Well if he makes things or brings me things, it is up to me to make the decision to eat it or not. By 10 p.m. I know if I have any calories left for the day. If I don't, I say, "no thanks, honey, can you put that in the cupboard and I'll eat it tomorrow." Then tomorrow I will make room in my calories for it. He used to ask me why I would never ever make brownies and I told him I can't because I will eat the whole pan. So he started making brownies for himself when he wanted them. Yes, it was hard for me to not eat the whole pan, but eventually I got to the point where I could ignore them. Now, I can eat just one and not eat the whole pan. He is not trying to sabotage me, he just wanted brownies, and just because I don't want them doesn't mean he shouldn't have them in the house. It was on ME to decide whether to eat them or not, and how much, and get control over my issues.

If you think your boyfriend isn't supportive, think about a friend of mine: her boyfriend is training as a pastry chef. :laugh:

my hubby seems to like my better fat. every time i try to diet he does things that sabotage me like bringing cookies to bed at 10pm! it's crazy. the other day i had to ask him if he cared about my happiness at all. i think that finally woke him up.

Well if he makes things or brings me things, it is up to me to make the decision to eat it or not. By 10 p.m. I know if I have any calories left for the day. If I don't, I say, "no thanks, honey, can you put that in the cupboard and I'll eat it tomorrow." Then tomorrow I will make room in my calories for it. He used to ask me why I would never ever make brownies and I told him I can't because I will eat the whole pan. So he started making brownies for himself when he wanted them. Yes, it was hard for me to not eat the whole pan, but eventually I got to the point where I could ignore them. Now, I can eat just one and not eat the whole pan. He is not trying to sabotage me, he just wanted brownies, and just because I don't want them doesn't mean he shouldn't have them in the house. It was on ME to decide whether to eat them or not, and how much, and get control over my issues.

Jedi mind trick alert!

Seriously though, on this I agree with you. None of us were force-fed to get this fat (I assume?) so it's up to us to make ourselves thin again. Just because we are on a diet doesn't mean they should be too.

By being supportive I mean helping make sure shared meals fit into my diet (he doesn't mind this - he's actually enjoying having more veg), and fuzzy emotional support and encouragement. I don't mean banning foods from the house, doing the same diet plan as me, logging my calories for me etc. or even not having the odd chippy or take away. That said, he does hide his junk food in "his" cupboard so I don't see it (at my request).