What Should My Goal Be? Please Help

nostress123
nostress123 Posts: 106
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello all!

So I have been on MFP for a few years now, on different profiles. I know how it works and I know a bit more about nutrition and health now then I did before. I just do not know WHERE I am in terms of my goals, or even if I have a clear goal. And without a clear goal a lot of this feels pointless, this tracking and weighing in and stuff. I feel the need to come up with a statement, something that I want to say that will signify I am in maintenance phase. Such as: I am 140 pounds or I have lost 25 pounds or my waist is 27 inches or I fit into size 6 jeans or whatever.

I do not have a GOAL. I set a goal weight because MFP requires one, but I don't really know if that will satisfy me. Or if I'm trying to go much lower than that. And with that said, I am unsure of when to adjust my fitness/nutrition goals from losing a pound a week to half a pound to maintaining. My diary is open to anyone who wants to see it btw.

Without a goal I am sure you are all wondering what I am doing on MFP. The first couple times I was on MFP was for post pregnancy get back in shapeness. The most recent time (2013) was because of a body image catastrophe. I had been cheated on and lied to after 5 years of marriage, and the mistresses of choice were all skinny, fit, drop dead beautiful and young, so young. I had discovered the multiple affairs in December of 2012 and went on a binge/starvation/purge fest for a few months.

Given this issue, and some issues with childhood (my sister being the skinny one and me the "fat one"), I do not know what I consider to be a satisfactory image in the mirror. But I don't want to ruin my progress, or not see my progress, by continuing to eat and workout like I am "overweight", "fat", "flubby", "chunky", etc. And I believe that stating some clear goals would help me with that.

Here's some stats:
Highest weight: 200lb (I was pregnant, so may not count)
Highest non pregnancy weight: 170lb (This was within 2 months of having the baby)
Highest pre-pregnancy weight: 160
Most recent high weight: 165 (September 2013)
Lowest adult weight: 143 (After Insanity and 1/2 Marathon Training, 2010)
Current weight: 145

I have a 29" waist, maybe a bit smaller.

I workout 5-6 days a week, sometimes 7, burning on average 400-500 calories a day.

I eat between 1200-1700 calories on workout days. I have 1 cheat day and one 24 hour fast a week.

I can fit into the same clothes that I fit into at my most recent high weight and my lowest adult weight... so not much of a difference in body composition that I can tell.

General advice for my stats? Advice on how to pick a goal? I'd appreciate any kind of advice.

Hi, my name is nostress123 and I'm a mess ;-)

Replies

  • jillianash
    jillianash Posts: 97 Member
    I don't really understand how you want other people to choose your goal for you. You have to decide what it is that you want and make that your goal.

    My goal is to develop a healthy lifestyle that I can maintain for the rest of my life. i want to lose weight initially but once I have created my lifestyle I probably wont count calories or use myfitness pal for the rest of my life.


    i wouldnt worry about choosing specific stats you want to hit. I would just make yourself happy. or choose a goal you think will result in you becoming a happier person.

    Thats just my opinion.
  • krokador
    krokador Posts: 1,794 Member
    How about you figure out something you love to do, and aim to be able to do that thing better/longer/more easily?

    It could be running if you enjoy it.

    It can be playing a sport. Group or not.

    Maybe it's crossfit.

    Maybe it's just taking care of your family.

    Just find something that makes you happy, that you will enjoy doing, and determine what is the best way to get the most effective/able at doing. And go for that.

    As an example: I decided I wanted to start running spartan races. I'm not in shape for that yet, so right now I'm focusing on building strength, losing fat and getting my conditioning up (more or less at the same time). I'm tailoring the plan to cater to the event, y'know?
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    You don't say your height but reguardless I see 140lbs and I am not thinking you are particularly heavy. I think alot of where you head is at comes from the relationship problems and you need to seperate your self image from that situation. I agree with krokador, maybe you should look into a fitness goal that would make you feel accomplished. I think you need to look inside yourself and decide what would make you happy :)
  • nostress123
    nostress123 Posts: 106
    Thanks all and to clarify I am not asking people to PICK MY GOAL. I am asking for advice on HOW to pick MY OWN goal, as I am really unsure of what that would be.... But perhaps with some direction I could figure it out,for myself....

    A fitness goal might be a good way to go... I'll have to think about that a bit more...

    Any other advice...?

    I'm 5'5'' btw
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    5'5, and 145 lbs.. I think you should go meet your local weight rack in the gym and get cozy with that.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    Forget about the weight goal set on MFP, simply set a goal of general health and fitness, when your body get's where you want it, you'll know.

    Rigger
  • mikeruz
    mikeruz Posts: 35 Member
    I set a goal of getting to 250 pounds from the 320 I started at. When I hit my goal I was not happy and moved the goal to 230. I am now at 225 and have gone into maintenance but I have a doctor appointment today to see where I actually should be at without looking too thin as all my co-workers say I am.

    I guess what I am saying is set a goal for yourself and once you achieve it or come close to achieving it there is no harm in setting a new goal!

    Best of luck!
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    well if you go to fattofitradio.com they have all sorts of calculations but I think the body fat one might be useful to you. Plug in a few numbers and it will give you your current body fat% and then you can put in your desired body fat% and it can give you a goal weight. Don't get 100% attached to a very specific number, but you can get a ballpark figure

    http://forum.bodynet.nl/algemeen/57345-body-fat-percentage-pictures-and-women.html this link can give you visuals to help you out.

    I know I already mentioned this though but I hope you really think about the fitness goal idea! What sort of stuff have you done that you enjoy?
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
    I set a goal of getting to 250 pounds from the 320 I started at. When I hit my goal I was not happy and moved the goal to 230. I am now at 225 and have gone into maintenance but I have a doctor appointment today to see where I actually should be at without looking too thin as all my co-workers say I am.

    I guess what I am saying is set a goal for yourself and once you achieve it or come close to achieving it there is no harm in setting a new goal!

    Best of luck!

    True statement right here. My first scale goal was just to lose 40 pounds, hit that and moved the goalpost from the 224 I was at to 205, hit that and now my current goal is 185, and when I get there I'll probably move the goal-posts again, though from there it goes to BF% rather than scale weight.

    Rigger
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    I think you need to work out what makes you happy. The number on as cake or tape measure won't do that for you.

    You've been through some tough times, and your body image has got embroiled in those. Get your head in the right space first.
  • kagevf
    kagevf Posts: 509 Member
    how about...set a new goal...like getting strong and ripped!
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
    Find a goal that excites you when you think not only of the end result but of the process! I'll be thrilled when I meet my goals, but in the meanwhile I'm genuinely delighted to be in the gym working mah booty off to get there. And they don't have to be anything crazy or impressive. Shucks, two of my personal goals are to squat more than the bar and to be able to do an unassisted pull up. Sure, plenty of people would scoff at that but hey, these are my goals, not theirs.

    Best of luck OP :flowerforyou:
  • JenJBS
    JenJBS Posts: 83
    First, so sorry for what you went through with finding out about the affairs.

    Maybe a non-weight goal. Do you have a favorite dress/pair of jeans/swim suit? Maybe one you don't own, but want? Maybe looking great in that can be your goal? I have a goal weight, but I also have the (more important to me) goal to look great in a favorite dress of mine.

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