Not feeling too great about myself...

Hey people,

So, I'm not sure where to start, I'm just not feeling that good about myself, I recently started My fitness pal in the beginning of january and have been doing it on and off.

I feel like I know I want to lose this weight, and I know I would be so much happier but lately because of my busy schedule and stress I've been making excuses, eating bad food and not really tracking, ( FYI I'm a full-time college student, 5'3" around 180 pounds)

I think I need some motivation, but you would think feeling not good about myself would be motivation enough...I just feel so bad about myself and my body and how I look and tomorrow I have to go to an event, I bought a dress for it I know i'll look 'pretty' but I'll also just feel fat at the end of the day because of my weight, anyways, sorry for the rant, just not feeling too stoked on myself...

Replies

  • jason8ter
    jason8ter Posts: 5 Member
    Feeling bad about yourself is actually not a recipe for motivation. That's okay, though. Don't get more down on yourself for being down on yourself. It's part of the process of getting to where you want to be. You just need to find the bottom, so you can start working your way back up. Make a realistic plan and celebrate small victories. Once you start feeling better about yourself, that's likely where the motivation and drive will kick in. Best of luck to you and keep us posted.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Hi!
    Welcome!!! So, here's my first big suggestion:
    Take the plunge and commit to tracking. Everything.

    Why? Because it's your first step in taking control. I will bet that's part of why you're not feeling so great about yourself: you feel out of control (I say that because I sure did!)

    My next suggestion is that unless you have a specific dietary problem, consider changing "bad" foods to "foods I eat in moderation". That's not to say that I think you should eat nothing but snack cakes and ice cream - certainly try to get the majority of your calories from nutrient-dense foods, but don't cut treats out of your life! That is enough to make anyone sad!!!

    Those are my two off-the-top-of-my-head suggestions.
    Feel free to send me a friend request if you'd like.

    Welcome aboard!

    ETA: these won't help with your upcoming event, but they will for your next one!! Look forward, dear!
  • IsaacHudson
    IsaacHudson Posts: 33 Member
    I agree with DamePiglet. Track everything, everything and everything. I go backwards every single time I relax on my tracking.

    It's ok to feel bad, just keep getting back on the horse.

    Good luck!
  • Everybody feels down about themselves at times, so you're not alone. It's also OK that you missed some proper eating and workout days, because you can always start again. Starting again is always better than not starting at all. So keep at it, and you will find that your start overs become fewer and fewer. Remember it's a long journey, so enjoy the ride.
    An inside tip about going to events...in my line of work I have met women who weigh 100 lbs and still think they look fat and unattractive!!? They dwell on it. The most attractive women at events are the confident and happy ones, with great personalities.
    So go to your event and own it! Have fun while you transform your body too! All the best......VH.
  • " I will bet that's part of why you're not feeling so great about yourself: you feel out of control"

    That makes total sense!
  • Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words everyone, I really appreciate it. It's nice to feel that I'm not alone.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Habit changing can be hard, especially when you're trying to change everything at once. It's absolutely possible to lose weight and get fit & healthy with a busy work schedule, but it definitely makes it harder when you're new to it all. I would advise keeping it simple and concentrating on one thing at once. Start with the tracking. It only needs to take a matter of minutes, especially when you've been doing it a while and have all your usual foods in your "recent" section. Planning ahead helps a lot. You can spend 10 minutes in the morning pre-logging your food and that can help keep you on track. My schedule recently got a lot busier, and I've started taking an hour or so on a Sunday to make food for my week's lunches so that each morning I only have a small amount of meal prep to do, but I know that my lunch each day is going to be the right amount of calories and nutrients to fit my goals.

    Then, another 10 minutes or so at the end of the day to log anything extra or make any changes. If you are buying lunches on the go, then it really helps to use the app if you have a smartphone. Otherwise, if you have no access to a computer during the day (which you might have if you're a student) then just jot down calories on a piece of paper and add them to your diary later.

    I think in the beginning, there can be a lot of decision making and worries about what's the "right" thing to eat, but once you get into a habit of meeting your calorie goal, it gets easier. Don't worry too much about "bad" foods, just hit your calorie goal and then as you look at your diary each day, or over the weekend, you can see which foods make it harder to hit your goal, and which make it easier. Which foods fill you up more etc. Nutrition is important, but if you try to make lots of radical changes all at once, you are less likely to be able to sustain them.

    I don't know if you've got exercise in place yet, but again, don't try to do too many things at once and then feel bad because it's not happening. Just try to get a bit more active. If you're sitting down a lot, then make a point of standing up and walking around when you can. If you get a lunch break, go for a walk. I really recommend regular exercise for improving your mood and confidence, but again, try to make gradual changes that you're going to be able to sustain.

    The fact is that you don't need to feel motivated and excited about weight loss all the time for this to work. You just need to get the right level of calories, and then be consistent. Work logging your food into your life, (just like taking a shower or brushing your teeth) and the rest will fall into place.

    One last thing I'd recommend for now is taking measurements of your body, and taking progress photos if you haven't already. Both of those things can be great motivators further down the line when the scale isn't moving as fast as you'd like.

    Check out these too:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it
  • Vailara
    Vailara Posts: 2,469 Member
    I don't know why this is, but I've found that feeling good about myself helped me lose weight. Of course, making yourself feel good about yourself is hard to do, I know - I wish I could tell you an easy way to do it! It's much too easy for us to find fault with ourselves, so it goes against the grain to appreciate your body properly, but do try. You'll look even better tomorrow if you feel confident! And then, if you love your body, you'll want to look after it and if that means losing a little weight for health, you'll be more motivated. I found exercise helped - mainly because I wanted to get fit, and exercise was difficult while I was so overweight, so that motivated me to lose it.

    Best of luck :).
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    I don't know why this is, but I've found that feeling good about myself helped me lose weight. Of course, making yourself feel good about yourself is hard to do, I know - I wish I could tell you an easy way to do it! It's much too easy for us to find fault with ourselves, so it goes against the grain to appreciate your body properly, but do try. You'll look even better tomorrow if you feel confident! And then, if you love your body, you'll want to look after it and if that means losing a little weight for health, you'll be more motivated. I found exercise helped - mainly because I wanted to get fit, and exercise was difficult while I was so overweight, so that motivated me to lose it.

    Best of luck :).
    Oh yes - I'd definitely agree with this too. I struggled with depression and self-loathing for a long time, all through my teens and adult life, and I never had any success at losing weight. It was only when I started to change how I feel about myself (still get depressed, but no longer hate/dislike myself or my body) that I was able to start really making the changes I needed to make to be a healthy weight. It took a change in mindset to somebody who wanted to be healthy (physically and mentally) for me to be able to really start eating better and exercising.

    So, yes - definitely try to work on the confidence/self-esteem etc right now, and don't fall into the trap of thinking "I'll feel better about myself once I lose weight". That doesn't always happen either, and in my experience it's the other way around.
  • zealey77
    zealey77 Posts: 104
    Sorry to hear you feeling down. Motivation is like confidence - it is not a fixed thing, it fluctuates daily. Some days I feel king of the mountain, other days I feel shy and shifty. People who tell you they are motivated and positive the whole time are either lying to you, in denial themselves, or just plain insane. ha.

    For me personally, the key is to live life focused on the moment, the now, the present, but also to have one eye on a goal for the future. What is working for me with my weight loss is to record a diary every day on my webcam - just my private random thoughts, good and bad but totally honest. I'm also using this to see at the end of each month the difference in my face as I talk to camera. Even after one month I can see a difference - my face is less bloated, my skin fresher, eyes twinklier (is that a word 'twinklier?) ;)

    It is very satisfying and empowering for me to see the change I'm making happen through discipline and not just taking the short term easy path of least resistance (which I usually do).

    I've also set myself a longer term goal that if I shift the weight I want to then I'll treat myself to a nice holiday. But, like alcoholics, it's too hard to think of a long never ending journey ahead, so just say to yourself 'today I will keep fit', today I will not binge. Focus on the present and enjoy flexing your willpower muscle - YOU are in control of you - there's very little else in life we truly have control over.
    Hope you feel more positive soon.
    Best wishes,
    Mike
  • charissh
    charissh Posts: 91 Member
    I would echo the people above who say that you should start by feeling better about your body. I had to do this out of love for my body, not out of hate for it, or I wouldn't have got very far I don't think.

    One of the ways I did this was by avoiding 'thinspiration' and 'fitspiration' photos (while they work for some people, I found they harmed my self esteem) and looked at body positive blogs, things like the curve appeal tumblr and the militant baker blog.

    I just started to try and untie the negative feelings I have in my mind from the food I gave my body, I strive to nourish it and give it the things I know it needs, not what my brain tells me I want!

    And I got some really supportive friends on here by introducing myself in the forums :)

    Hope some of my advice helps, and the best of luck with your journey!
  • Oh, it's such a horrible feeling ... I felt like that myself and still do to some extent. I knew that I needed to lose weight but couldn't find the time. The crunch came for me when I finally accepted that my "nice" clothes no longer looked good on me but highlighted how overweight I am!

    It sounds as though you're reaching a point of wanting to take control again ... a turning point. Thinking of you ... it's not an easy road, not at all and it's daunting to be at the beginning (where I am!).

    Take care, GG :-)
  • xWendyJonesx
    xWendyJonesx Posts: 266 Member
    You've been given some fantastic advise here, I've been feeling low recently, I think it's the time of the year, the weather is nasty and I just want to see some lovely sunshine to perk me up a hit.

    To get me through my bad times, I have some amazing friends on here, from time to time we all let off a cry, rant or a moan, my friends are full of encouraging, kind, funny, helpful comments. I don't know how many friends you have, but it might be worth looking out for some, feel free to add me.

    Another thing that keeps me going is simple goals and treats, maybe after a week of successful logging treat yourself to a new nail varnish, I recently broke my plateau, I hadn't had a weight loss in 4-5 months, I treated myself to some yummy protein bars, I wouldn't usually spend that sort of money on an oat bar, but I'd worked hard and felt I deserved it, it made me feel good about what I'd achieved and encourages me to carry on.
    When I reach my goal weight my OH is treating me to getting my belly button pierced, it's something I've always wanted, but never had done.

    Read some of the success stories on here, I find them really encouraging, it a amazing what some people have achieved, they look so happy in the after pictures.

    Most importantly stick with it, don't give up if you have a bad day, we all have them from time to time, just start a fresh the next day, you'll start seeing great results in no time.

    Good luck.
  • I know how you feel I have 96 pounds to lose, I was once 180 pounds and I didn't get serious about getting my weight down. 15 years later Im so over weight its going to take over a year to be the size of a normal person. I wasted time and youth being fat and not feeling good about myself. Im the funny girl that makes everyone laugh and feel good about themselves but hated myself and was crying inside. About 6 weeks ago something changed in me, I still felt bad inside but I wanted to change so I did. I joined an all women's health club and started swimming laps. I love to swim, I could and do spend hours weekly in the pool. I don't just sit and chat or float around like I see other heavy women, I hit the lanes and push myself. I have now worked up to a half a mile every other day. I have not missed one day. About 4 weeks ago it gave me the courage to really change my eating habits, no more fast food, no more soda, I increased veggies and healthy snacks each week I made more changes. I feel like a giant snowball that keeps rolling and taking on more motivation. I have lost 6 pds. It was hard but through it all im starting to feel better about myself, not because anyone has noticed my weight loss or my clothes even fit better. Because I made a commitment to myself and continue to honor it. I realized I cant quit on myself or I would be one of those 400 pound women middle aged women with diabetes, heart disease and god knows what else. I want to have fun and live life and I know I can do it, you can do it too. Please don't make my mistake and lose so much time being unhappy and stuck. So start a new get an exercise you enjoy doing like a dance class or swimming and find a way to keep it a number one priority in your life. Then clean up your diet, if you fall get back up don't quit. You can do this-I believe in you!
  • jillianbeeee
    jillianbeeee Posts: 345 Member
    I remember how that feels. I knew I was overweight and wanted to lose but didn't know where to start and then there was the excuses. I was sad so I would eat, tired so I would eat, mad so I would eat and so on. For years I was trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons. So my husband would be more attracted, my sisters would get off my back about being heavier, etc. It wasn't until I started logging and exercising that I realized it was not about any of that. It was for me and no one was going to stop me (and believe me they will try!) Taking back control is not easy, taking responsibility for our behavior is not easy, and admitting we have a problem is hard. You are a very busy women. Start slow. Count calories, make better choices when you eat out, give up sugary foods and drinks. Walk a little further, if your college has a gym, go. Even if its for a 10 minute walk on the treadmill. You can do this! Look at all the success stories on here! they are amazing!
  • cheripugh1
    cheripugh1 Posts: 357 Member
    I agree with Dame Piglet too, she said it short, sweet and simply put. As for time, that will always be an excuse but keep in mind gyms have TV's and you can put on your favorite show put the earphones on and get that treadmill/bike etc going while you watch!
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    There's some great advice here! One thing that helps me is to set wee little goals for myself. In the early days it was sometimes as simple as "track today" or "do a 10-minute Pilates video on YouTube." It really helps in starting to build confidence when you can accomplish something you set out to do, no matter how small it is.

    I also gave myself a month to ease into exercise so I wouldn't burn out and give up. I did a lot of short workout videos, a lot of walks, nothing too strenuous unless I was really feeling it. (And there were a couple of times!) Now I'm going into my second month and I'm a bit stronger, a bit more flexible, and have a bit more stamina.
  • I don't know if this will help you, but personally I've found it easier to keep myself motivated when I'm doing things for self love, rather than self hate. I started my account here about six months ago (approx.) and at the time I was worrying less about my negative body image and more about getting healthy. About three months ago I had some personal problems that resulted in old hang-ups coming back to haunt me and all my motivation went down the tube. I'm on a lot of meds now and weekly therapy, and I'm ready to get back on the horse again. I think you have to really look at it as a long term investment - yes, sometimes we have set-backs and sometimes it's hard, but as long as we keep trying it'll pay off in the end.

    Don't give up on yourself. Focus on the good things, do it for yourself, and you'll get there. Good luck!
  • feeling bad about yourself only feeds the need to keep sabotaging yourself! Do something nice for yourself and know that good feeling you get from that deed will continue and help you stay on track.
    I agree with another response....track everything! Make tracking your hobby now. Get on the site often and explore all the food options under the food database. Plan ahead your meals and snacks so you will stay with what you have already entered in the system...I find that helps me tremendously:smile:
  • Wow, Everyone has posted such great advice on here, I'm truly inspired and uplifted by everyone who posted on here, Thank you so much for taking time out of your days and replying to my post! I feel so grateful, and totally inspired and more positive about this journey. I'm glad I reached out and posted about how i was feeling.

    I think for me, focusing one day at a time, and making tracking everyday an absolute commitment will work, As well as talking to myself more positively and focusing on self-love rather then self-loathing. I hope everyone is having a great weekend, Thank you so much again for the great advice everyone <3
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
    I'm 5'2" and started at 187. We're almost body-twins, lol.

    Once you get yourself into the habit of logging on here, it actually becomes sort of fun. For me anyway, but I'm a big dork. It's like puzzle pieces to me. I log and look over my whole day and see where one item was too big, or I had excess space in another area. Then the next day, I think through my food choices a bit before deciding. It's been just a bit over a year for me, and logging has become second nature. And as an extension of that, making wise food choices and exercising more efficiently have also become almost second nature. It does get easier. Once you see that first change in yourself (whether it's physical or mental) you'll get excited. And then you'll want to continue. And then your whole outlook changes.

    If you're struggling now, I'd suggest this: Don't worry too much about changing your diet or exercise yet. Spend a few weeks keeping things the same, but get used to logging. Play around with the site. And lurk in the message boards. You'll see so many positive stories, and so much support between members. Then make small changes.

    Bit by bit, little by little. You'll get there.