Low Self-Confidence while Dieting?

Jill7650 · February 2014

I'm about 3 weeks into dieting, and I've lot 6 of 15-20 goal lbs, and while I'm proud of myself, I've always tried to be confident and happy with myself no matter what my size. But lately, even though I've been losing weight, I just feel unhappy with my body.

Part of this is that I've lost weight primarily in my chest and waist, although I was really hoping to lose it in my hips. I know it's just a number, but I've been a size 12 for years (I have been dieting on and off, but this has been my most successful attempt) and would really love to be a size 10-8. I can learn to live with my size 12's, especially if I'm in a healthy weight range, but any tips on losing hip/thigh weight other than hip/thigh specific excersizes?

One other thing that has been making me feel just overall negative, is the realization that in taking control of what you're eating and getting healthy, it feels like just another way of saying "I am unhappy with how I look and how my body is." While this is true to a certain extent, it's also really hard to be happy and confident with who you are when you are actively trying to change it. Has anyone experienced this as well? Is there any way to shake this feeling?

msf74 · February 2014

What you are feeling is quite common. Side effects of dieting can include irritability, low mood, anxiety, loss of libido. The more severely you are restricting yourself the more severely these effects can be.

I think it is a good idea to focus on what you are working towards which you will obtain rather than weight loss itself (I actually think that losing weight is a weak primary motivator over the long term for reasons I won't bore you with.) Think of improved self esteem when you have a good relationship with food, increased happiness, increased quality of time with the people you love, increased ability of your body to perform, increased health. The shift in focus should make you feel better.

Finally, learn to love your body no matter how it looks, now or in the future. It is amazing, you are amazing, no matter if it does not fit with some arbitrary socially constructed idea of what it should be.

DemoraFairy · February 2014

Firstly, you can't spot reduce - the only way to lose weight in your hips is to just keep dieting and wait for it to come off there. Hip and thigh exercises won't help either. They'll make your hips and thighs look better, but they won't get rid of the fat there.

You don't have to be *perfect* to be happy and confident. If you did, most people would never be happy and confident with anything they ever did! You can be happy and confident about something while knowing that there's ways to improve it. To take an example outside of dieting, think about school work. I'm sure you've been happy with a mark before that isn't 100%. So there's room for improvement, but you're still happy with it. You'll still go home and proudly tell your parents about the mark you got. I think it's the same with dieting. Even if you know your body isn't perfect, you can still be happy with it.

Jennilyn79 · February 2014

A lot of women deal with that kind of weight loss.... We lose bra cup size but hips and thighs are slower to lose. You are only 3 weeks in, trust me and be patient. Keep at it and you will lose off of your hips. While you can't spot reduce you can try lifting heavier weights. This won't bulk you up. When I focus on getting all the nutrients my body needs (including enough water, enough rest, adequate amount of calories between bmr and TDEE, cardio and weights) I feel better. Weight loss doesn't come off in a linear fashion for many of us unfortunately. I was pretty frustrated when I had plateaued for 2weeks, but dropped one day and noticed a change. Although you can't change the places your body chooses to lose fat first you can keep at it, because eventually you will lose fat everywhere. You may already measure yourself, I suggest you do because things look the same in the mirror Until inches are lost. pay attention closely to the measurement. 0.1 inch may not seem a lot to lose off of a thigh but it's still a loss.

edwardkim85 · February 2014

Eh I feel similar.
6 foot male.
I lost 35 - 40 lbs and came down from 280 --> 240 - 245lbs.

With proper diet and exercise, I managed to lose more fat and put on muscle while on a deficit(people say you can't, but yes, you can... if you are either new to lifting or if you have lots of fat to use as fuel)

Anyways, my waist went from 44 --> 38 & shirts from XXXL --> L or XL.

I have big shoulders/chest/arms so when I wear shirts, it hangs over my chest... build is very similar to an NFL linebacker I guess, if I lost another 10-20lbs of fat.

However, I feel quite rolly /soft when I wear shirts now. I tried a shirt that was not 'loose'(which I'm used to wearing when I was fatter) but medium fit/tight and everybody says I look muscular, but to me, I looked like a brick and 'fat'.

I'm conscious about my chest being 'saggy' and worried about my chest looking like 'moobs'... and it seems to me that way in mirrors. Every single person I meet, however, says otherwise and I had some people even ask me if I was wearing shoulder pads at the gym.

So I guess we see our own flaws the more we diet... it becomes an obsession.

I'm probably look fit or at least like I am quite strong/lift a lot in every day life, but because I go to crossfit and the crew I hang out with all have 6 pack/ 8 pack at 200 lbs, it makes me feel 'fat'.

I realize they are probably the top 0.1% of the population, however , and that I shouldn't feel bad, but I still do.

What gets me going? I know that I can get there eventually.

nikki8marie · February 2014

I definitely feel that way too. I recently bought a full length mirror. Every once in awhile I catch myself standing in front of it and saying wow is that what I really look like? The me that I picture in my head is not the me that I see in the mirror. Then I usually get depressed because I still have a long way to go.

What helps get me out of this funk is focusing on goals. Did I hit my weight loss goal for the month? Did I hit my calorie goal for the day? Did I hit my walking goals for the week? With every little goal I hit, I celebrate with new shoes, work out pants, maybe the occasional small ice cream cone or even just doing a silly little dance.

Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Low Self-Confidence while Dieting?

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