how to eat and when

Firstly, I mean this in the kindest possible way, but it sounds like you would benefit from professional help. Binge Eating Disorder, anorexia and bulimia are very complicated things and not the kinds of things that you can just shake off with tips & suggestions. I'm of course not saying that you have these eating disorders, but that would be something a professional could tell you and help you with. They're not things to be taken lightly.

If however you are more at the stage where a bit of logic might help, try to remind yourself of these things:

-you want to lose weight, but I'm assuming it's fat that you want to lose and not muscle? If you want to lose fat, and have a good/healthy body composition when you reach your goal, then eating only 1000 calories a day (let alone below that amount) is a really bad idea. You're setting yourself up for failure, and any "success" would mean losing a lot of lean mass, ending up a low weight, with still too much fat on your body, not being happy with a flabby appearance, suppressing your metabolism so that it's harder to maintain that weight etc. It sounds like you want to get to your goal as fast as possible, but doing it that way will likely make you unhappy with the results (as well as being less likely to stick).

-losing lean mass isn't just about appearance. It also means the negative health consequences of losing muscle and bone density. This is a problem as we get older anyway, especially for women, so you need to be doing everything you can to hold onto your lean mass, not losing more than you need to.

-a major cause of binge eating (and binge eating disorder) is dieting, and the more restrictive you are, the bigger the risk. By continuing to cut your calories so low, you are feeding the starvation/binge cycle. As someone who is clearly prone to binge eating, you have to stop cutting your calories so low.

-another big issue with eating disorders is black & white thinking, or thinking in extremes. From what you've said, you're always either cutting to a very low calorie diet, or you're bingeing. Again, this mindset is feeding the self-destructive cycle you're in.

I would recommend telling MFP that you want to lose 0.5 lbs a week (max 1 lb a week, but given your history, I would honestly keep the deficit as small as possible) and stick to that calorie goal for at least several weeks. If there is no change then, you can adjust as necessary. If daily weighing discourages you, stop doing that. Take measurements and photos and judge your progress that way.

You're still very young, but you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of physical and mental health problems. If none of what I've said is enough to make you stop and think, or if you really can't stick to a higher calorie level, then I would urge you to seek professional help as soon as possible. :flowerforyou:

Moderation and portion control are key. I try to look at my calories as dollars. Do I want to "spend" x amount of calories to have a cookie, for example. Hmm, yes I do. So I log that food item and have one but I know I have x calories less in my pocket for the day. You don't have to give up the foods you enjoy. You just have to work them into your budget.

Try looking at food as a requirement, just as if you were taking a medication. You need x amount of nutrients to power your body, so that's a requirement really, not an option. Even if you aren't hungry, if you've worked out and have a net cal balance of 400 then you must give your body more fuel.

Jester's post is spot on. You should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and what's going on, so he/she can help get you on track.

I am also addicted to the scale. It can be a great motivator, or a great demotivator. Some weeks, it just doesn't move much. Have learned to tough it out, and keep going regardless of the scale when it seems stuck. I focus on how healthy and good I feel when eating well and exercising. My focus this year is doing a Sustainable approach that can last me all year to my goal and beyond. I've done the yoyo thing before, most of us have…lessons learned.

I was dealing with some of the same issues you are. I lost 115 lbs and nearly gained all of it back. While this was happening I got addicted to the scale. i would base all of my emotions around what I ate during the day and what the scale said. You would think this would cause weight loss but it didn't. I would binge as a sort of rebellion and then become depressed after I did it. I do not know if these are some of the feelings you are having but the only thing that has helped me is therapy. I was diagnosed with OCD. I was obsessed with my weight, eating, trying new programs and bingeing on food when I "failed". During my therapy I actually had to get off every program and just try to eat in moderation. I am now trying myfitnesspal again but I can recognize certain triggers and stop myself before it starts. Here are some things that help.

1. Weigh yourself once a month. This is the number one this that has helped me.
2. If you go over calories it is OK. Any effort is good effort and going over your calories by 200 is better then bingeing and eating 3000 calories. Even if this does happens its OK too. Tomorrow is a new day and the next meal is a new meal.
3. I also keep a journal about how I am feeling about each food I eat. When I first started every food I ate had the feeling of guilt attached to it. Now I try to stick to these feelings. HALT

H= Hungry
A= Angry or upset
L= Lonely or Sad
T = Tired

I try to only eat when I am hungry now. Hope this helps.

I would suggest planning your food everyday, the evening before, and sticking to your plan. I favor the 1500 calorie end of your spectrum, because lower calorie dieting often results in binge cravings, and I think it's really important for you to stick to a plan that is nutritionally sufficient and prevents feeling restricted.

In the long run, a more moderate calorie cut will help you lose weight in a controlled way, learn to eat to satisfaction within your limits, and allow you to learn the mental component that makes weight maintenance possible.

I would also encourage you to take a break from the scale. If you're sticking to your calories, just take the leap of faith for a whole month that it's working (it will be). Take the energy you used on your bodyweight scale and put it in to accurately weighing your food and logging every bite you eat. The control you seek will be in your diet, not the scale. At the end of a month, there will be results.

At the beginning of the year most of my long time friends on here "adopted" noobs. I didn't. Your post really touched me and I would like to volunteer to help you if you would like. PM me if you're interested. No pressure if you're not- I promise not to be offended if you don't want a mentor (or you do want one that is someone else!). lol.