Feeling deflated :(

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daisiepops
daisiepops Posts: 51
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello,

So basically for the past month I have been dieting by cutting calories and working out 6 times a week with a mix of cardio & strength training.

I Have lost weight according to the scales however this fluctuates weekly and nobody has noticed that I have lost anything which is really upsetting. I am still in the same clothes which although feel slightly looser around my bottom are still tight everywhere else. I went to the Hair Salon today and saw myself in a full length mirror and just wanted to cry :( I despise my body and how it looks I wasn't expecting to look skinny but I really thought I would have felt different now. I am getting married this April and am so nervous about the way I will look. I feel so disappointed, I don't know what I am doing wrong? I have done so well cutting out all junk food and eating plenty of fruit veggies and lean meats, I have been much more active and working my butt off with exercise. Any advice would be so helpful as at the minute I just feel trapped.

x x
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Replies

  • professormudd1
    professormudd1 Posts: 59
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    People may not want to say things like "You've lost weight" since it implies they thought you were fat before. It is a manners thing. Also, it may be that what you have lost so far is mostly visceral fat. Once you get rid of that stuff, you will start losing the subcutaneous fat and you will see more of a difference.

    Keep your head up and be patient. You might not notice visually for quite a while since you see yourself every day and it is a gradual process.
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Thanks for your speedy reply to my post, I hate the whole self-pity thing so I really am trying to remain positive just wondering if there is something that I should be doing to help. Thanks for the support it really does help x
  • professormudd1
    professormudd1 Posts: 59
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    Also, if you are engaged, then that means your soon-to-be is already in love with you... You may not be pleased with your body (I am very familiar with that feeling), but chances are you are more critical of yourself than the person you are marrying.
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Thank you, my partner always compliments me but he also acknowledges that if I lost weight I would be so much more confident. I don't want killer abs and skinny thighs I guess I just want to feel comfortable in my clothes. You are right though I am very critical! Thanks for your lovely and understanding response x
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    You lost 9 lbs in a month and you're wondering what you're doing "wrong"?

    Not giving yourself credit for phenomenal success is what you're doing wrong.
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    This is where I feel weird though because the scales say that but my body doesn't look or really feel any different and I thought with that much loss it would do. I was expecting my clothes to be loose or to have lost inches all over so I feel it was just all of the water I was retaining as I had swollen ankles and would puff up quite a lot x
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    I'm not seeing a problem here that can be fixed anywhere but in your head. You're losing weight, and scale fluctuations are normal. Everyone's weight fluctuates, even over the course of a day, and as long as there is a downward trend, you're doing fine. I'm not sure what results you expected after only a month, but you need to be realistic about this. It's not a quick process by any means, much like putting the weight on was not a quick process. You need to make peace with that and trust that it's working, otherwise you are going to drive yourself crazy.

    Honestly, people probably are not going to notice unless you lose a huge amount of weight, and even fewer are actually going to say something. I've lost 15 lbs so far, have not gone down any clothes sizes (some things are looser), and exactly zero people have noticed. It really has nothing to do with you or how hard you are working, people in general are just way more into themselves and really aren't thinking about you and how much you weigh. Remember you are doing this for you. :flowerforyou:

    ETA: I didn't notice your ticker…9 lbs lost? You are way ahead of the curve, especially for someone with so little to lose.
  • Denklaw
    Denklaw Posts: 1 Member
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    Stay focused and you will get there! I couldn't fit into a smaller size until I'd lost 12lb, the compliments will start but many people never know if to say anything or not because they don't want to say you were big before. Doing the exercise will tone your muscles and actually make you potentially bigger in places and muscle weighs more than fat. You'll see the results very soon!
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Thanks guys, don't want to sound like a big vein gal wanting people to notice I have lost a little bit of weight lol!! I am referring to my closefamily like my parents who know I am dieting and working out so I kinda know they are honest and don't want to say anything until they actually notice. It is encouraging hearing support though and I guess I am still 'big' and so I just need to stick at it and have patience! lol x x
  • sarahwilson12
    sarahwilson12 Posts: 70 Member
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    I agree that a lot of it is your mentality. This is something I've struggled with for a LONG time. It wasn't 'til I was able to convince myself that I'm not ugly that this whole thing has been a bit better. Still a struggle, every single day. It's a killer... counting calories is tedious. Not feeling a difference, even when you're supposedly losing weight, is awful.

    One thing that really changed my mentality was adjusting my calorie intake. I used my TDEE number (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) - 15%. It makes it SO easier to stick to my count this way, rather than sticking to what MFP told me to do.

    Feel free to add me. I can't guarantee I'll post or say much, but I am on consistently & randomly check in with my MFP friends.

    You've got this! Breathe & don't worry about it. It'll take time. Your body will eventually feel the results of the changes. Don't give up :smile:
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    Congratulations on your recent weight loss and up coming nuptials!
    Please be patient with yourself and do not stop your hard work.
    Remember to log all foods and EAT ENOUGH. Drink plenty of water and if you're strength training, then make sure your getting the right amount of protein.
    Take photos to document progress.
    You'll see, by your April wedding everyone will notice how your body has changed.
    These links are helpful to keeping you on the right trek.....

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    Best of luck to you!!:flowerforyou:
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    Thanks guys, don't want to sound like a big vein gal wanting people to notice I have lost a little bit of weight lol!! I am referring to my closefamily like my parents who know I am dieting and working out so I kinda know they are honest and don't want to say anything until they actually notice. It is encouraging hearing support though and I guess I am still 'big' and so I just need to stick at it and have patience! lol x x

    I've heard that the people closest to you tend to notice last. It's people who see you enough to know what you look like but don't see you that often who will notice first. Someone who sees you every day (including you) won't notice as soon because the change is so gradual. It took nearly 100 pounds before any of the people I see on a regular basis said anything.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    273.jpg

    Took people about 6 months to notice mine. A few didn't even notice until after a full year.
  • vsprocket04
    vsprocket04 Posts: 26 Member
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    I've lost8.8lb in 3 week, no one has noticed/ or even mentioned it to me but I am slowly ( past few days) just beginning to notice myself. Good luck with your journey!
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Love the support on here thank you so much it's great to hear words of encouragement and understanding from people who are feeling/have felt the same. I guess patience is the key and sticking at it! x x x
  • Mojoman02
    Mojoman02 Posts: 146 Member
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    Also, if you are engaged, then that means your soon-to-be is already in love with you... You may not be pleased with your body (I am very familiar with that feeling), but chances are you are more critical of yourself than the person you are marrying.


    Bingo on this point!! I got married in December to a wonderful man who always told me (and tells me) how beautiful I am. Embrace the beauty you have now...it's already there...you will merely become thinner! I.e., don't be so hard on yourself!

    As for the whys....lots of good info on this website.....great people to help....the only thing I can say is....are you eating enough calories for all of that exercise?
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    273.jpg

    Took people about 6 months to notice mine. A few didn't even notice until after a full year.

    Someone beat me to it! You're doing great. People will notice soon.
  • minibandit
    minibandit Posts: 77
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    This is probably just a tale but I read somewhere that it takes 10lbs for you to notice and 20lbs for every one else. You've done really well and I think if you cast a kinder eye over yourself you would see a difference.
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Also, if you are engaged, then that means your soon-to-be is already in love with you... You may not be pleased with your body (I am very familiar with that feeling), but chances are you are more critical of yourself than the person you are marrying.


    Bingo on this point!! I got married in December to a wonderful man who always told me (and tells me) how beautiful I am. Embrace the beauty you have now...it's already there...you will merely become thinner! I.e., don't be so hard on yourself!

    As for the whys....lots of good info on this website.....great people to help....the only thing I can say is....are you eating enough calories for all of that exercise?

    I am eating about 1000 calories a day sometimes less I am afraid to eat any more but as Ive said in a previous post I am gradually starting to up my calories now - Thank you for your kind words xx x x
  • daisiepops
    daisiepops Posts: 51
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    Thank you for everybody's support it really does help :) x x

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