The Decision and the Talk

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asha4244jess
asha4244jess Posts: 11
in Motivation and Support
My husband and I love to eat at our favorite Chinese buffet at least 2-3 times a month. However today I had an epiphany. Eating at this restaurant is not conducive to my low carb diet. I thought I would be able to go the restaurant and eat only meat and veggies. Although I didn't touch the rice or noodles or fried potatoes and biscuits a lot of the meats were breaded.

So at the end of the meal, I had to gently break it to my husband, who loves this restaurant, that I would no longer be able to eat at this restaurant with him. It was heart breaking to me, because this is a place we discovered together and enjoyed together.

Over the last month I have had to change my life dramatically even when it comes to where and what I eat. My husband wanted to order pizza Friday night. I told him at first not to order the pizza because it would be too tempting, however I changed my mind and told him to order it and that I needed to challenge myself to seek self control and restraint even in the midst of some of my favorite unhealthy foods.

So anyone out there that's beginning their journey of healthy eating and lifestyle changes it's time to have that talk with your love one. Heck you may be able to convert them. I haven't been that successful in that task but I'm constantly working on it.

Replies

  • horsehelpnow
    horsehelpnow Posts: 35 Member
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    I had to have the talk with my family as well. They would start asking whats for dinner at 4pm and then continue to say I'm hungry until they would sit down for dinner. I finally had to say I cannot make you dinner, do not discuss food with me, I have to eat on my own scedule and I do not want to spend the whole afternoon constantly reminded of food. This past month bas been the easiest change I have ever attempted. I think it has been harder for them than me. We do have some dinners together but only on days I am feeling strong enough.
  • asha4244jess
    asha4244jess Posts: 11
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    What does your meal planning consist of?
  • horsehelpnow
    horsehelpnow Posts: 35 Member
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    My husband is a big meat and potato person with extra butter and sour cream. He aways has to have noodles and or bread as well so it is easier for me to just steer clear rather than try and control the cravings. I like to have a salad or some meat and vegis for dinner but my mind can not talk myself out of stealing some of their food if I am in the vacinity. I am not strong enough in my journey to be able to encourage changes in their food. I have to get myself figured out first.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    This is sad because you don't have to restrict to lose weight. Moderation and planning can make life much easier. But good luck with your diet and your marriage.
  • jjoh553028
    jjoh553028 Posts: 41 Member
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    I have the same problem. As long as I am left alone I do just fine and stay on tract. I am starting on my 4th week and have lost 7 lbs. I have many more to go. My significant other is working out of town and only home every other weekend, and he is actually starting to join me in my more healthy regime. Well at least when he is here.
    The problem is when the kids and grandkids come over. They have finally eaten all of the none healthy food that I had left and drank all the beer. So I dont buy beer anymore and dont buy the chips, dips, etc. But they show up right after work and stay till 9:00 at night. It does not allow me the time to do any workouts. So... I just bought new treadmill today and set it up right smack in the middle of the living room. My plan now is, if they want to visit, they can while I am on treadmill
    We will see if my strategy works
  • horsehelpnow
    horsehelpnow Posts: 35 Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood something because there is nothing sad about my situation or my supportive husband. If my marriage is not going to make it because I don't cook him dinner or if I don't eat with him every night, Then there is clearly a way bigger problems in the marriage. I don't know what you consider restricted, but I know that I eat whatever I want when I want. Just cause I don't want to consume bread and noodles for dinner every night. People like you that post snarky remarks makes people not want to post or share their experiences.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    Fried potatoes and biscuits at a Chinese restaurant? I've never heard of it. :huh:
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood something because there is nothing sad about my situation or my supportive husband. If my marriage is not going to make it because I don't cook him dinner or if I don't eat with him every night, Then there is clearly a way bigger problems in the marriage. I don't know what you consider restricted, but I know that I eat whatever I want when I want. Just cause I don't want to consume bread and noodles for dinner every night. People like you that post snarky remarks makes people not want to post or share their experiences.

    I think the other poster just meant that most people can be successful in losing weight by just doing portion control/counting calories and not by eliminating things from their diet. If you are careful with your portion sizes at the restaurant, you can continue to eat there and enjoy it and still lose weight.

    (I say most only because some people really do have medical issues that call for a restriction or elimination of certain food items, but most people don't.)
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    I don't consider going "low carb" as beginning a "healthy" phase or relationship with food.

    If anything, I would view it as the opposite.
  • daybehavior
    daybehavior Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood something because there is nothing sad about my situation or my supportive husband. If my marriage is not going to make it because I don't cook him dinner or if I don't eat with him every night, Then there is clearly a way bigger problems in the marriage. I don't know what you consider restricted, but I know that I eat whatever I want when I want. Just cause I don't want to consume bread and noodles for dinner every night. People like you that post snarky remarks makes people not want to post or share their experiences.

    Nothing snarky at all about her post. How is it so bad to tell people they can eat what they want in moderation and not suffer? Why do people insist on making losing weight so much harder for themselves? And yes, if you cut out entire food groups from your diet it is BY DEFINITION restrictive.
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
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    This is sad because you don't have to restrict to lose weight. Moderation and planning can make life much easier. But good luck with your diet and your marriage.

    Perhaps a Chinese restaurant that does not have a buffet would be a better choice.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood something because there is nothing sad about my situation or my supportive husband. If my marriage is not going to make it because I don't cook him dinner or if I don't eat with him every night, Then there is clearly a way bigger problems in the marriage. I don't know what you consider restricted, but I know that I eat whatever I want when I want. Just cause I don't want to consume bread and noodles for dinner every night. People like you that post snarky remarks makes people not want to post or share their experiences.

    I am quite sure you misunderstood my post, it wasn't directed at you at all. I was speaking to the OP. Do you just assume that every response in a thread is about you? I am certainly glad you have a supportive husband because based on your butthurt response to my genuine reply to someone else, you must be a real peach to live with. I am actually getting quite tired of responses like yours and I would suggest that they might be the reason people don't want to share their experiences. Have a nice day!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Maybe you misunderstood something because there is nothing sad about my situation or my supportive husband. If my marriage is not going to make it because I don't cook him dinner or if I don't eat with him every night, Then there is clearly a way bigger problems in the marriage. I don't know what you consider restricted, but I know that I eat whatever I want when I want. Just cause I don't want to consume bread and noodles for dinner every night. People like you that post snarky remarks makes people not want to post or share their experiences.

    Honey, she didn't quote you and this isn't your thread. Just because someone posts after you doesn't mean the conversation is suddenly about you.

    OP - Could you make it a once every couple of months treat? Date night. It's good to have the things you love occasionally.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    The simple solution to this 'problem' is to not go low carb.

    There's no need to go low-carb unless you have a medical reason to.

    And really - telling your husband he can't order pizza because it would be too tempting? There's compromising and offering support, yes, but you can't expect other people to change because of your food choices.
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    In because I smell drama.
  • Erikalynne18
    Erikalynne18 Posts: 555 Member
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    OP: I was the same with going out for wings. We used to go out once or twice a week and had to cut back a lot :( But that doesn't mean I am going to give it up completely, just eat there less often and smaller portions :) There are ways to make smart choices. Many restaurants even have nutritional information posted online so sometimes I plan ahead before going out in order to stay within my goal, while still enjoying a nice date night :) If you find the Chinese restaurant won't work for you, then maybe instead search for some new restaurants that you could try out that might offer healthier options, OR search online for some healthier alternatives you could make at home. Just don't give up date nights! They are so much fun :)

    In terms of 'converting' your husband, it won't happen unless he wants to. Don't try to pressure him, it's your change. He may decide on his own that he wants to change as well in time though :) I've seen my fiancé flip packages over and read the nutritional labels at the grocery store (which he never did before!). It's baby steps to a healthier life together :)
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
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    me and my other half had a favorite chinese restaurant we used to go to, lovely 4 course meal, plus prawn crackers that i ate to myself as he is vegetarian, we don't visit it anymore, but not because i'm on a diet, because we discovered a lovely italian restaurant, when we visit i don't restrict what i eat,and order whatever i fancy, i enjoy every last calorie, then get back to dieting the next day, so my suggestion is instead of banning it completely, make it a special occasions place, that way he still gets to go and you don't miss out, plus you can look forward to it, win win
  • joolywooly33
    joolywooly33 Posts: 421 Member
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    Why do so many of these posts looking for genuine advice end up being *****y :grumble:
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Hi OP,
    When I fist started trying to lose weight, my wonderfully supportive husband stopped buying extra snack food, or even when he bought them, he felt bad about eating them in front of me.

    I actually didn't notice that he had made this sacrifice (he never mentioned it)...
    UNTIL I realized that his jeans were so baggy that even he could hardly keep them up. He didn't have a weight problem, and now he was underweight because of his sacrifice.

    I felt terrible because HE sacrificed things he liked and calories he needed for me...
    No one else should have to sacrifice things THEY want and enjoy for MY past bad decisions.

    Because of this, I suggest you try to eat "all the foods", but all in moderation. Eat less, log, move more, lose weight, get healthy. I have learned to do it and I think you can do the same.

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