I don't have the motivation to do this. Please help me.

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Replies

  • mereditheve
    mereditheve Posts: 142 Member
    I can empathize with not always having motivation... whatever the reason, whether it's because you feel depressed, tired, anxious, discouraged, you can always start with something.

    Here are some ways you can start feeling more energized:
    1 - Don't sleep in. This sounds counter-intuitive, but waking up and going back to sleep (e.g., hitting the snooze button) disrupts the hormone cycle, making it even more difficult to get moving when you do get up. Wake up at the same time each day even if you have to force yourself to at first.
    2 - Get moving! It seems like the more energy you use, the more energy you have. Go for a long walk -- you won't even think of it as exercise, but you'll feel great when you get back. I started going for walks just to get some time to myself and it always helps my mood.
    3 - Don't think about what you are -- think about what you can be! If I find myself thinking "I look terrible" or "I'm slow and weak" it can quickly spiral into the self-pity you're describing. But if I instead tell myself "I'm going to be in the best shape of my life!" I feel much better and I'm much more likely to make the effort to go to the gym or watch what I eat.
    4 - Make positive memories with healthy food. I hate the term "comfort food" because it usually describes high-fat, high-sugar, carb-laden foods with little nutritional benefit. Make your new comfort food something you feel good about eating. You'll never see me eating rice cakes... but I love chicken salad with celery sticks and a clementine for dessert. Find healthy food that you like to eat.
    5 - Make a point each day to read/watch something that inspires you. You can find lots of motivational speeches on youtube. Get yourself a calendar that has an inspiring quote on it each day and make it your motto for the day.

    Getting in shape is fun and exciting. It's like finding $20 that you didn't know you had. As each week goes by, I'm happier at all of the things that I can now do because of my workouts. You'll see that in your daily life -- you won't get winded taking the stairs, you'll find walking around the neighborhood invigorating, you'll like trying on clothes. Next thing you know, you go from a mile-long run that you thought was going to kill you to signing up for a marathon that you're excited to run! The little changes you make every day will add up to a happier, healthier you.
  • CAS185
    CAS185 Posts: 20
    I advise asking for a change in medication. Wellbutrin helped my mood and my weight loss immensely, but I cycled through a couple meds before I hit one that helped.
  • oakleaves
    oakleaves Posts: 8 Member
    I even take as many of classes online just so that I have less reasons to leave my apartment because I am too embarrassed to let people see me and how much I let myself go.

    The more replies I read from everybody, the more I think I need to discuss my medication because it might not be helping me as much as it should. I just HATE going to any doctor's office because whenever I go, I get weighed and then I get the lecture from both the nurse and the doctor about how I have to get this weight issue under control. Seriously. I've been putting off a physical for 5 months because I don't want them to see that I gained another 15lbs since I was there.


    First, cut yourself a break. You haven't killed anybody or robbed a bank. You're preparing to graduate with a tough degree. College is a really stressful time, no matter how many people tell you it's the best time of your life. I had a great time in college but I would never do it again.

    I am also on 20mg of Lexapro. Ignore your parents' calls for you to get off of it. People who don't have depression or anxiety (my problem) have zero idea how much of a difference the right medication makes. I am glad you are making an appointment with your doctor. It sounds like you either need a different drug or a different dosage. Something isn't working right now.

    You don't have to be lectured. Stop the doctor and nurse before they start. Tell them you want to work on your weight but you have to get your depression under control before you can. It's true. It's impossible to have motivation or willpower when you're struggling to just get out of bed and get through the day.

    You can do this.
  • dollarstitch
    dollarstitch Posts: 26 Member
    I am going to respond before i read the other comments, but your story is very touching, and I know it has to be hard cooking for 1 person. (I went from cooking for 8 to cooking for 2 and it was crazy) but I also learned what "freezer cooking is." I don't know if you have heard about it, but what you do is spend an entire day cooking, and then divide the meals into portions. Like if you cooked 8 chicken breast, you would put in 8 freezer bags (1 in each bag) and then reheat when you want it. You can pre-make salads, a few days in advance, they also have where you can do it in mason jars and it last up to a week. It's called OAMC (once a month cooking) and there is TONS of recipes on the web for it. This might be ideal for you, you could even make your own tv dinners and freeze them in advance (no more need for fast food) My husband and I just started walking, you can do it in front of your tv (walking in place) or go around the block or campus if you are in school. I was where you are, I was tired of being over weight, but I knew at the same time, I was the only one that could do anything about it. I can cry to my husband and family (which I did LOL) or you can find the courage to make the change yourself. It is hard getting started but once you do and you start loosing you will LOVE that scale going back wards instead of forward :) I wish you the best and add me as a friend if you want to :)
  • amosmoses88
    amosmoses88 Posts: 163 Member
    It sounds like depression to me. I can say about depression, it takes a lot to bring you out of it. You may be dog tired and don't feel like doing a thing, but once you do a workout, the feeling afterwards is rewarding. The more you do, the better you feel. TRUST ME. I'm not depressed right now, but I'm slowly on my way there because I haven't gotten out much AT ALL. It's like you're stopping yourself from moving forward. Almost maybe a fear of the end results of losing the weight. Will I gain all this weight back and be right back where I am now? Will it really help improve the depression? Also, your parents have a good point about the diabetes, you are on your way there. I was on my way there, I know lol. But it is preventable and yes, you can choose to do the healthy choice meals or dinners like that, but I wouldn't recommend it as a total fix all. You can't eat them 3 times a day and get all you need from them. Now every now and then when you feel so bad you can't hardly move, then yeah. But the problem with that is, you do it once, you'll more than likely do it again, and again, and again, then it becomes a pattern. I suggest seeing a new Dr about trying a different kind of medicine and seeking out a therapist. Sounds silly I know, but often times we harbor feelings inside that are the root of the problem and we can't talk to family and friends about, so talking to a complete stranger who doesn't know you or anyone around you from Adam. I've seen two when I was younger, and it really does help. Good luck and I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!
  • Jocampgrl
    Jocampgrl Posts: 59 Member
    ]

    I was diagnosed with depression in Nov. 2012 and have been on medication since then. I'm actually thinking about changing doctors because I feel like all the medication did was stick me on a pretty much 100% neutral feeling towards everything, which, granted, is better than the horrible lows that I used to have... but I can't tell if my life has actually improved or not. For those who are curious, I take 20mg of Lexapro a day.
    [/quote]

    I have been a mental health therapist for several years and it sounds as if you need your meds adjusted. Leapfrog can cause weight gain. Good for you for getting assessed. However, there are a ton of psych meds available. If you are only working with your general practitioner they are not going to be as current as psychiatrist on what's available.

    Someone said to do one thing a day to help improve how you feel about yourself. I can't agree more. Getting down on yourself for lack of motivation doesn't help in any way. It only makes you feel more down. Depression is real, as is the lack of motivation you feel. Talk with your school counselor to brainstorm ways you can improve your quality of life. Develop a "pleasant activities menu" to turn to when you need something to help your mood.

    Your overall motivation won't improve until you get your mental health adequately addressed. You can do this. You are strong and capable. How many people would have the guts to post what you did on nfp
  • treesponge
    treesponge Posts: 32 Member
    Everyone here has had some really good advice and here are my two cents.

    Definitely go to your doctor. Your medication doesn't sound like it's working right. I was also on a medication that left me in the neutral zone and yeah. it's better than the dark places, but it's not a good thing.

    When your doctor/nurse starts to get into the "you need to get this under control" stuff interrupt them and say, 'I know I do and that's why I'm here in your office." If a large part of your lack of motivation stems from depression then getting that in control will go miles toward your health.

    As for what you can do now, if making a full life change is hard to put on your plate right now you can try little steps in the fast food joints. Get a water instead of a soda, or opt to not get french fries. Those two things are incredibly fattening on their own and just cutting out part of the fast food meal is a good step toward weaning yourself off fast food in general.


    You can do this!
  • I also learned what "freezer cooking is." I don't know if you have heard about it, but what you do is spend an entire day cooking, and then divide the meals into portions. Like if you cooked 8 chicken breast, you would put in 8 freezer bags (1 in each bag) and then reheat when you want it.

    I do this too. Once a month I set up the laptop in the kitchen and have a movie marathon while I cook a ton of freezer meals. I do everything from lentils to lasagna to roasting a chicken - all in one day. It saves me a lot of money AND it means there's always dinner in the freezer that can be ready in five minutes.

    OP - your story was so touching and so sad. I can't tell you how much I can relate to it. I can't give advice on meds because I chose no meds for depression, and most days it is one hell of a struggle to even get out of bed. Lots of folks give the advice to just get up and get moving - and no disrespect to them at all - but sometimes tackling depression just isn't that easy. But know there are LOTS of folks here who really do know what you're going through, and I think reaching out in the forums will result in a ton of positive support.

    This is JUST my opinion, but I think before you tackle the physical battle (weight loss) you're going to have to tackle the battle going on inside of you. Changing your thinking from the negative to the positive has to be a priority. For example - your ticker shows how many pounds you still have to lose. That's just a giant reminder of what you haven't done yet. Switch it over to the positive and celebrate each pound as it is lost. Even if your day is FILLED with self-disappointments (couldn't get out of bed, ate fast food again, etc.) find one thing - ONE thing that you can be proud of and post it on the bathroom mirror or the fridge door. I got in the habit of doing that every single day and it really helped me. In the beginning I had to really search to find ANYTHING I was happy about (like- made the bed today), but after a while my thinking slowly shifted to more positive and my behaviors started to change as well. Right now my fridge says "fixed mower ALL BY MYSELF! and burned 200 cal. mowing the lawn." Anyway - you get the idea. Sometimes baby steps are all you can take, but they're still steps in the right direction. Lots of others have said similar things - baby steps (water instead of soda, etc.). Over time they WILL add up to a healthier, happier you.

    I sincerely wish you all the best. The steps you said you are taking are awesome. I'd be proud of those and plaster them all over the bathroom mirror! :flowerforyou:
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    We can't make you want to do the changes. You either want to do them or you don't.

    If you feel like you can't, then you should call in outside help - a nutritionist/dietician, doctor and perhaps a therapist as well. We can't make you want to do better.
  • TiffytVS
    TiffytVS Posts: 71 Member
    I'm with all the posters who are telling you to be gentle with yourself. As someone studying public health, you know that depression, like any physical ailment, needs to be treated in order to get better. If you came to this forum saying, "I really want to exercise and eat healthier, but I have two broken legs and can't move", nobody would be telling you to suck it up and do it anyway. They would tell you to see a doctor and get help and take care of yourself, so you can heal. Depression is no different. Beating yourself up for having low levels of serotonin in your brain will only make you feel worse, not better. I agree about talking to your doctor about trying something new with your medication. I also really recommend talking to a therapist in addition to medication. Medication definitely helps keep the lows from getting too low. But for me, nothing was more healing than being able to take a look at the underlying issues contributing to my depression with someone who could be both objective and compassionate. Best of luck to you! Please know that it does get better even though it may not get better all at once.
  • LinOtt
    LinOtt Posts: 82 Member
    Good going with setting of small goals. My personal journey with depression has shown that successful treatment is a combination of meds, exercise and diet. Just change one thing at a time. Set a small goal, and each time you complete your small goal, praise yourself. If you start just logging your food and exercise, you will soon run out of excuses., make a bargain with yourself you can only eat junk if you have earned it through exercise.

    If I had known earlier that exercise is so very important to my mental health, I would have started sooner.
  • MJ_Watson
    MJ_Watson Posts: 180 Member
    Yes, I was definitely about to comment that this sounds like depression and then I scrolled down and saw your edit. I really do think you should make your mental health a priority right now. You may need different meds or a change in dosage. I have BPII which comes with some pretty significant lows, and I know how depression can take an easy task (like cooking or cleaning or just getting out of bed) and turn it into something that's almost physically impossible. If you take care of yourself mentally, the physical stuff is likely to follow, in my experience. It's entirely possible that the weight gain is not a seperate problem, but a symptom.

    Overall, I agree most with the poster who said "Be kind to yourself." Don't beat yourself up or try to force yourself into anything. You don't have to feel ashamed for struggling with this. You're not weak or silly or useless. Don't listen to any voices that say otherwise. You are still trying. That's what's important.

    Also, if possible, I think you should find someone to support you IRL, whether it's understanding friends or a therapist (or both). And if you ever need to talk, you can always shoot me a message. I can't promise to have any answers, but I've been where you are now, and sometimes you just need to talk things out with someone who gets it. ^^
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Some things that I am going to do this week are:
    01: Get an appointment with a new doctor to discuss my depression
    02: Log everything I eat, regardless of what it is
    03: Make a list of reasonable goals that can help me ease into a healthier lifestyle

    Good plan Batman.

    I would also say that it doesn't sound like you lack motivation. It doesn't sound like you lack willpower either (which is a hugely over rated concept in dieting anyway. An eating plan which puts high amounts of deprivation against the need for high amounts of willpower constantly usually ends up in dieters end facing first in a bowl of cake batter...)

    What you need are the skills to execute your plan. Skills are learned behaviour they are not innate (again why the "you need to want it" or "use willpower" advice won't get you far if you lack the skills necessary to achieve your goal.)

    Do what you are thinking of doing. If you find yourself struggling then come back and ask for more advice.

    You can and you will do this.
  • csontos
    csontos Posts: 76 Member
    I just want to send everybody internet hugs and rainbows and puppies and kittens and stuff after all of the wonderful and touching replies that I have gotten. I have an appointment at 3pm today to talk to a new doctor and discuss changing my medication because something is clearly not working.

    Yesterday I managed to not eat out for the first time in probably weeks and today when I was on campus, I managed to walk by the foot court and not end up in line. Baby steps. However, I had to walk up two flights of stairs and I was so out of breath. This is not healthy for somebody in their 20's. I looked up my BMI and it was 34.

    Thirty. Four.

    When I came to college, it was 19.3

    This is not okay. I HAVE to do something. I'm really hoping that trying something new with my medication will give me the push that I need.
  • bumblebreezy91
    bumblebreezy91 Posts: 520 Member
    You can do it, sweetheart. You sound so much like me, it breaks my heart. But. Baby steps. We can do it. You can do it.
  • Hey Kiddo! So glad to hear that you have a Dr. Appt set up, once you are feeling better and get your meds adjusted you will be much more able to start getting your weight under control. My advice is to set small goals for yourself and take it one step at a time so as not to get overwhelmed. Maybe looking at the 80 lbs. In 20 lb. Increments. Take it from someone who wishes they had tackled this weight issue in their younger years! Don't let excess weight and poor eating habits carry over into middle age. It only gets worse and harder to lose. You deserve to be the best you that you can be!
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    So sorry you are going through such a bad time. Keep your chin up and make gradual changes. Change the things you can change for instance:

    You don't like to cook just for yourself - make Sundays your food day - make a meal plan, do your shopping and prepare your food and have it ready so when you are hungry there is something to eat. Eating healthy will have a positive effect on how you feel.

    You were once very active - you have made your first steps to getting some exercise - remember how good you felt when you used to do workouts for fun. This is way easier to do when you are young so now is the time!

    Definitely see your doc about the negative effects of the medication - and maybe make a plan to have regular appointments to wean yourself off it eventually.

    You have a supportive family - stay in contact with them and share your progress - they are obviously concerned with your well being.

    You were healthy and active before - you can do it! Good Luck OP - keep your chin up and don't let this beat you!
  • It is the depression.

    Yes, go see a new doctor. Your medication is not doing enough. Spend more time outside in the sunshine, even if you are just sitting on a park bench.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Sounds like maybe your depression is a bit worse than you thought. Your parents are overly concerned (never heard anyone turn into a drug addict by taking anti-depression meds though!), but you have to do what's right for you. I think the idea to see a new doctor is a good one, or at least go to your current doc and explain what you've been feeling. Sometimes you need a combination of meds to really help.
  • kapease
    kapease Posts: 12 Member
    Depression should be diagnosed and treated by a mental health professional, not a general practitioner/family doctor. Although they can see the symptoms and make a reasonable diagnosis, psychotropic drugs should be administered by the experts in the area. Also, you need bloodwork done to eliminate the possibility of a physical issue, like thyroid.
    Also, for me, I can't look at the huge picture, I have to pick one thing that I can work on changing. Start with a determination to change ONE meal a day to a healthier alternative, even if it is a healthy item from a fast food place (they do have SOME healthier options, or you can toss the bread or something). Pick a period of time, like 30 days, so you have a finite time frame. The thought is, in 30 days you have a new habit, and some success, and it makes it easier to make the next change, like taking a walk a few times a week. Big pictures can be intimidating, but picking 1 goal at a time, leads to success. Write it down, plan your strategy for mastering the goal. Take advantage of the offered support. You can do this!
  • You can do it, sweetheart. You sound so much like me, it breaks my heart. But. Baby steps. We can do it. You can do it.

    ^This. Exactly. :flowerforyou:
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Ask your parents if they consider type-I diabetics to be drug addicts, since they are dependent on taking insulin. Yes, they still have to do the work of avoiding tobacco and alcohol, monitoring carb intake and exercising, but those things alone will not allow them to maintain health.

    Similarly, you will still have to do the work of behavioral therapy and managing diet, exercise, stress, and sleep, but those things alone may not be enough to allow you to maintain health.

    I suppose somebody could say I'm addicted to Wellbutrin. I can live with that. Because I can *live*, not just survive.
  • turtledove773
    turtledove773 Posts: 122 Member
    As a previous Lexapro user, that dosage might not be working for you anymore. Have a discussion with your doctor about it. He/She may up your dosage or change your meds altogether.

    I am just starting so I by no means am an expert, but as the previous posters mentioned, you will have to WANT to change your lifestyle and lose the weight. It took me over a year to WANT it enough to get off the couch and do something!

    Get your depression under control, join a gym, change your diet , find a work out buddy and keep coming here for support! You can do this!!
  • turtledove773
    turtledove773 Posts: 122 Member
    Thats a great start.. just keep with it.. I just started the food journaling and it's HARD I'm not gonna lie! But keep at it everyone says it gets easier :)
  • gdurham2014
    gdurham2014 Posts: 27 Member
    You can do this. Take it 1 day at a time. There is nothing you can do about the past except learn from it. It sounds like you have wonderful supportive parents who love and care for you very much and you have all of us here on MFP!!! Set your self some short term goals and once you achieve them, set bigger goals. Losing weight and getting healthy has to be a life style change and I know that you can do it.
  • twinklemcgee
    twinklemcgee Posts: 32 Member
    First of all: *hugs* I feel like you needed that.

    There are lots of really great suggestions here, and I see you're going to speak to a dr re: changing your medication, whih is a very positive, and very difficult move to make, so well done you!

    I totally get what you're saying about cooking for one person - it is a pain in the *kitten*. When my fiance broke up with me a year ago, I decided that I couldn't be bothered to figure out how to cook for one, so I invested in a bunch of tupperware tubs instead. Now I can cook a big amount, portion it out and stick what I'm not eating in the freezer. It means I only have to cook once or twice a week - the rest of the time I come home, stick some rice/pasta on the boil and microwave myself some leftovers. Give it a try, you won't be sorry
    xxx
  • Starfish1125
    Starfish1125 Posts: 169 Member
    I am proud of you for taking the steps to get better - not only mentally but physically. I was on Lexapro, too, but it stopped working for me. I switched to Effexor and it made a world of difference.

    You've also gotten into the habit of eating. You're not necessarily hungry but it gives you something to do and it doesn't judge you and let's face it, food makes us feel good. But you're not eating the *right* things. That will come in time.

    First focus on getting your mind in the right place and you can then work on your weight. *hugs*
  • Take it ONE day at a time. Practice logging even if you are not ready to change your habits. Just practice it, get into a routine, and develop a plan.

    TRUE TRUE, even if you eat 4000 Cals a day.... Log it, because you Will see what you are doing and eating!!!
    And make you aware of it.....
    You can Drink before meals so you feel full earlier.....
    Log everything, so at somedsy you are gonna be sick of it and do something about it! GOODLUCK
  • csontos
    csontos Posts: 76 Member
    Since I am still getting messages about this post, I thought that I would give you all a lovely update.

    I met with a new psychiatrist today and she prescribed me Wellbutrin in addition to my Lexapro. Apparently its the "happy, horny, and skinny pill", so that can't be too bad, right? :P She is hoping that in the next few weeks, I'll start to gain the energy to get up out of bed and stop sleeping for 15+ hours a day.

    I managed to go two whole days without eating fast food so far! I'm at the point though where I would sell my soul for Panda Express. I went to buy a diet coke on campus in the food court and almost ended up in line there… I'm dreaming of fried rice, orange chicken, and honey walnut shrimp.