Scared to fail

avm1962 · February 2014

Hi
I have had weight problems for many years. In pregnancy, I more than doubled my weight - and it wasnt until I was in my thirties (more than ten years later) that I managed to lose it.
Since then - have fought it - yoyoing to a point where - have seen doctors, dieticians - list is endless. Dietician came up with this stupid answer where he said "You have the sixth gene" - total nonsense!(in other words my ancestors were fat so I will be too)
A few years ago, I resorted to a Total Food Replacement diet - I lost 56lbs in 2.5 months - I maintained it for over a year.
Then - I quit smoking - I know - its better I no longer smoke - that was 18 months ago now - and I am now at the heaviest I have ever been in my life.
I started this plan - with total determination 12 days ago. By day four - I had lost 5lbs - BUT then - 4lbs of it was back on again. Overall, in 12 days - total loss 2.5lbs.
I am doing 1200 calories per day using some of my exercise calories (am usually around 1400 calories per day)
I am using a treadmill as I sit a LOT - and I mean a LOT - I am self employed and at this time of year - spend a lot of time at my computer. I have replaced my chair with an Ijoy ride - so - am trying to keep my body moving even although sitting.
On the treadmill I am breaking sweat - I love the treadmill - really enjoying it -
I loathe being fat so much. Some people can live with it - I cant. I am worried that I am destined to fail,. I am not worried about sticking to the plan - I am just worried the plan will not work.
I dont feel I can face Total Food Replacement again - and this is in my head - that - if this doesnt work I am going to have to resort to it again. Shakes - soups and packets - it is revolting ..
It is as if my body WANTS to be fat. The pattern is - first few days - lose weight - then body matches intake - and then stores.
And no - its not that I am not eating enough. My diary is spot on.
I am a food producer - so know my foods inside out - and know carbs, proteins, sugars, sodium etc.
I am so happy I no longer smoke - It is not even an issue now - I dont even think of myself as an ex-smoker - I just think "I dont smoke". I just cannot bear to go on this long journey yet again unless it will work - I want to lose 60-70LBS by 26th October -
Do you think it takes a body a few weeks to get used to new food routine? My husband says "give it a chance" - I am just fretting already that as I lost 5lbs in first few days, then scale rose again - I am going to GAIN weight yet again

What was your experience in the early days?
Help! Just feeling pretty low and discouraged

I weigh myself same time in mornings - have left scales alone for a few days - but then got back on them and hadnt lost a single ounce in three days. As I say, overall it went down five, went back up four, went down 1.5 - then has stuck.
I know its early days, but I am hitting the panic button..
Anyone else have the same experience?

neandermagnon · February 2014

you only fail if you give up

I like to skate, I'm really good at it. But I can't begin to count how many times I fell over in the process of learning to skate. No-one learns to skate without falling over countless times........... but you only fail if you give up.

Same with fat loss. If you have a crappy day, just carry on with it. It's about the long term anyway. No-one has to be perfect in the short term. Aiming for perfection is the wrong mindset anyway. Aim for long term compliance. Make changes you know you can stick to long term. Don't focus on how fast you lose fat.... focus on keeping it off for life. It doesn't matter if you take longer to get to goal, what matters is that you stay there for life. Life is much longer than the extra time it took you to get to goal (and the health benefits may even give you more years to live as well...) Seems like you're pretty determined to stick to your changes in the long term, so that's a big help :drinker:

- focus on the long term
- don't try to be perfect
- don't be afraid to fail... just don't give up
- aim for slower weight loss so you have room in your calorie goal for all the foods you enjoy (in sensible portion sizes)
- whatever exercise you do, choose something you enjoy so you can stick to it long term. You love the treadmill... that's great, because you're already succeeding at this.

If your plan isn't working.... then you just need to adjust something. It doesn't mean it won't work in the long term. Lets say you go for 3-4 weeks with no weight loss OR inch loss, well you can try eating a little less or adding some more activity in there while eating the same calories. Calories in v calories out is a law of physics. When you get to that place where you're burning more than you're eating, you WILL lose weight. Water weight gains in some situations can hide this, so if you find your weight stays the same but you're losing inches... then this is progress, as the loss of inches = fat loss, even if the scale doesn't show it yet (it will, just be patient.)

A ton of patience is necessary... but really you are destined to succeed, just monitor your progress and adjust your plan as necessary

DigitalDiana · February 2014

Congratulations on kicking the habit! Many people find weigh loss frustrating, however, this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. You should weigh in ONLY once per week and make sure you are eating all of the calories that MFP tells you.

Also eat back exercise calories. Weight lost fast = more weight gained back later. Go for no more than 2 lbs per week MAX! IF you are serious about weight loss, ensure that your protein intake is 1 gram for every pound you weigh. This alone will keep hunger at bay and you will be more satisfied and have fewer cravings.

Journal when you want to eat... what are you feeling? Are you eating out of boredom? If yes, maybe you need a hobby such as crocheting or knitting so your hands are kept too busy to munch. Are you an emotional eater? If yes there are programs that will help you through counseling.

This is your health and your happiness... take control. Remember... you didn't get this weight in a couple of weeks, this needs to be a controlled, healthy weight loss..so take it slow, and good luck!

akaMrsmojo · February 2014

If you are afraid of failure, toss the scale out the window and follow the program on MFP. Don't focus on the numbers on the scale, it poorly represents the loss.

Javajules5 · February 2014

Just a thought....Have you had your thyroid checked? I have had hypothyroidism for 15 years. The first year I went on my meds, 20 pounds just melted off without any other dietary or fitness changes...

Pamela_in_Progress · February 2014

Perfectly said neandermagnon, I agree wholeheartedly! I've found focusing more on how I feel (improved strength and endurance) rather than the scale has served me well. I didn't see any weight change in the first month of starting this journey but I knew I didn't want to give up. I do my best every day and naturally some of those days are better than others, but the main thing is to just keep going. These changes are for life. You're building a new you and learning new habits that will last a life time. I've found if I focus on eating well, moving more and just becoming more fit in general, the weight loss will naturally follow as a side effect of those choices. Try not to obsess (I know it's sometimes easier said then done). You'll get there. Like neandermagnon said, you only fail if you give up.
I wish you well on this journey, be kind to yourself and give it some time. :flowerforyou:

melaniecheeks · February 2014

12 days really isnt enough time to judge. Give it at least a month.

Patience is your friend - and look at your total losses to date, fluctuations on a weekly basis are perfectly normal and mean nothing.

alib752 · February 2014

Hi, I'm currently in the same 'fail hell'. I too gave up smoking 8 months ago and have put on a staggering 4 stone in weight. Also like you I religiously stick to a healthy eating plan, lose a couple of pounds in the first few days then find myself stepping on the scales after a week a couple of pounds heavier than when I started! I have seen dieticians, doctors, had tests for all manner of things including my thyroid, nothing is wrong so I feel it must all be psychosomatic with me somehow.

I'm still struggling with what all of the figures on MFP mean (with the exception of calories and sugar, but then I think I'm programmed to understand them). What I do know though is that I refuse to believe that I'm destined to be fat and that the scales are just a tool to drive you insane.

I have now bought myself a dress that I really wanted and I've bought it two sizes too small. I have a picture of it on my fridge at home and one pinned to my computer at work that I can see right now. I'm sure that picture makes a green salad taste a whole lot better!

I'm hoping that by joining here and finding encouragement and support from other people that totally understand how desperate it can all seem and can celebrate each little success with me I will stick to a new healthy eating (NOT DIET) regime and by this time next year have a completely healthy, happy new me!

Stick with it and enjoy every little success you have and don't beat yourself up over the scales. Good luck

Jerrypeoples · February 2014

your weight is always going to fluctuate (esp as a woman). i am always within a 5lb radius of my current weight. it depends on the time i weight myself and how hydrated i am.

as others have said, you have to fail quite a few times before you succeed. you just have to keep at it

cottonbudcreature · February 2014

Yes, this is the worst thing to happen! It is bad for your moral. When it happened to me I stayed off the scales for a whole week then weighed in. I did lose then but very slow. It is very hard to keep going.....just keep getting back 'on the wagon' and try to be positive!:flowerforyou:

avm1962 · February 2014

Oh WOW - thank you ALL - this is such wonderful encouragement - Having read through all of this - you have boosted my morale - thank you.
I did start this with the thought in mind "this is for life" - hence why I have not gone on the TFR diet again. I havent done an inch tape yet - I didnt want to face it. But maybe time I did to give myself a good starting point - will see if I am brave enough.
Will keep you posted - thank you every one of you :flowerforyou:

S3r3knitty · February 2014

Don't give up if you don't want to fail :flowerforyou:

I think your husband is a wise man. 12 days is not a lot and you should give it at least a month before you check and reevaluate but never give up. You need to treat this as lifestyle change. You want to get healthier and have good habits which you can maintain the rest of your life. This is the reason something like a Total Food Replacement will never work long term because you can't keep it up.

I can honestly not tell you what I lost the first two weeks because I only started weighing two weeks into my journey. In any case as others said only weigh yourself once a week preferably always at the same time of the day. Your weight will fluctuate during the day. Mine does around 2.5lbs at any given day and I'm always slightly heavier during the time of the month. I usually weigh myself on Saturdays after I stood up before breakfast but after being on the toilet.

p4ulmiller · February 2014

I weigh myself same time in mornings - have left scales alone for a few days - but then got back on them and hadnt lost a single ounce in three days. As I say, overall it went down five, went back up four, went down 1.5 - then has stuck.
I know its early days, but I am hitting the panic button..
Anyone else have the same experience?

I did this for over 6 months. I' ma Project Manager and need constant feedback otherwise I tend to panic.

If you do weigh every day (and there's no reason why you shouldn't) then there are a few golden rules:
1. Don't panic when the weight goes up
2. Don't get excited when the weight comes down
3. Not all of your weight is fat - daily fluctuations are probably water
4. Weigh yourself at the same time and in the same conditions: as soon as you get up, after toiletting
5. Only note the weekly or monthly trend as a measure of performance

If you can't do all of these, then get rid of the scales. I still weigh myself once a week now, but only to keep a track of my BF%.

ihad · February 2014

Patience is so very important. There will be ups and downs, but the important things is the long term trend. There may be more difficult challenges - you can face them, and overcome them, and people will be there to help you along the way. Keep at it. Being scared is normal. Keeping on is super.

Here's some blogs I wrote that you might enjoy:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-resolution-that-stuck-my-two-year-mfpiversary-607930

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/everything-i-need-to-know-about-life-i-learned-from-juggling-chainsaws-564226

Cathalain · February 2014

I did start this with the thought in mind "this is for life"

While it's definitely a lifestyle change and not a "temporary" thing, try not to think about it in those terms at first. You'll just get overwhelmed thinking, "Oh, God, how am I going to do this - FOREVER?"

Don't think of it as forever - but as one step at a time. It's a marathon, not a sprint, right?

Congratulate yourself each and every day you make a goal, no matter how "small" that may be. You lost a pound, an ounce? Then you succeeded. You ate one more vegetable than you usually do? You succeeded. You gave up that fattening item at dinner? You succeeded.

Baby steps. :happy:

hosegirl · February 2014

I agree you only fail if you give up. Did you give up while trying quitting smoking? Congratulations that is not an easy thing to do. My husband had tried for many years and finally did it with hypnosis which by the way did not work for me to lose weight. It is all about the mindset. I agree with your husband be give it time. Set small goals so that you can obtain them-5 lbs a month. More time on the treadmill. Drink your water. I got a Fitbit and I love it. It helps to keep me in check. When I find myself thinking about the elevator I think to my self “Hmm, I should take the stairs so that at the end of the day I can see how many calories I burned by doing that.” So I take the stairs.

avm1962 · February 2014

Whats a FITBIT?

Delete that 2.5lbs - its now 3LBS!

And I braved the measuring tape - I still have an hour glass figure - its just that its a four hour glass figure :ohwell:

avm1962 · February 2014

I agree you only fail if you give up. Did you give up while trying quitting smoking? Congratulations that is not an easy thing to do. My husband had tried for many years and finally did it with hypnosis which by the way did not work for me to lose weight. It is all about the mindset. I agree with your husband be give it time. Set small goals so that you can obtain them-5 lbs a month. More time on the treadmill. Drink your water. I got a Fitbit and I love it. It helps to keep me in check. When I find myself thinking about the elevator I think to my self “Hmm, I should take the stairs so that at the end of the day I can see how many calories I burned by doing that.” So I take the stairs.

No - when I quit smoking - I think I felt I had licence to eat what I liked - I smoked for near on 30 years - and quit on patches and an ecig - I found stopping smoking was MUCH easier than losing weight - I have never looked back on that one. Just feel now - I have a healthy body - and want to now get fit for life - and get "me" back. I am miserable being "big" - its just not me. I have never eaten rubbish - I am not a crisps/chocolate/chips/burgers person - I do like to cook though - and during my qutting smoking my kitchen was a haven of all that is scrumptious - That combined with months of sitting - piled it on.
My head now though is in the right place. No more hiding behind the "I have quit smoking" excuse.
Just hoping I can do it!

sinistraltyger · February 2014

More thoughts on the weight loss... And hasn't been said yet that I can tell. 1) water weight disappears and reappears quickly -- stay hydrated so the body knows what to do with that extra water - give that at least two weeks. 2) Don't weigh yourself. instead look at clothes size measurements - Use the neck, waist hip etc measurements here as your determiner... Because frankly we don't want to be weight X, we want to be size Y - my goal? Stop being in pain, and to shop in a "regular" store.

Finally - no one here is losing weight. Losing anything implies it has value (and that you are going to find it again eventually) - we are shedding, dropping, ridding ourselves of... the unwanted extra pounds. That mindset has helped me in the past.

Best of luck, and "just keep swimming" (no, my kids are grown, really!)

CompressedCarbon · February 2014

Welcome!

One thing I really like about MFP and the helpful people on it, is that there are no forbidden foods, you just have to find a way to adjust to make room for them (welcome back to my world chocolate). When I felt continually deprived of something I loved, I became resentful and would revolt. It might take a little longer, but I'm not constantly angry and bitter because I'm missing something that I love.

I started out just counting calories and walking. Now I do more (mostly because I want to and I can). I am a slow loser but for 18 months, things have been moving in the right direction. And because I made no drastic changes, it truly does feel sustainable for me.

Just keep going, no matter what your scale (and especially ignore the negative voices in your head) say and you'll be just fine.

cookiealbright · February 2014

Hello and Welcome! You've come to the right place, but you need to calm down. Rome wasn't built in a day and that weight won't come off overnight either. I've been at this a year in January and I lost 26 pounds. We travel alot and I'm not strick with my diet when we are traveling because I want to enjoy myself. But when we're home and it's a regular day, I watch what I eat & excercise. I'm aiming for at least losing another 8 pounds this year. I'm not in a big hurry, I just want to stay on the downward trend! Good luck to ya! :flowerforyou:

pcdragonfly · February 2014

OK, so I am new to the weight loss thing, blogging, forums etc. I quit smoking in 2009 after being diagnosed with cancer. I have to say that really sucked but here I am, after radiation and chemo, cancer free . I have gained a rather large sum of weight since then and have recently been to countless physicians, specialists, weight loss centers, programs, surgeons (yes considering surgery) but then I thought what the hell am I doing!? I have not been holding myself accountable and I guess I need to do that sometime. So right now, you are an inspiration to me because you have lost. Don't think of it as only 3, celebrate because you did loose. Hopefully I will follow in your footsteps this week with a loss on my ticker. Keep up the good work.

louisegibbs85 · February 2014

Stick with it, you have more chance of losing weight and being a healthier person if you perservere than you would if not doing anything at all. Don't look at the overall picture ... How far you have to go, it makes it seem more daunting/impossible. Instead set little goals ... Throw them scales away! Then your whole mindset will not rely on them ... Go off inches, the way your clothes fit, the way you feel ... Are you more energetic, less bloated .. All these are great achievements and encourage more than the number on a scale. Good luck in your journey .. You CAN and WILL do this, and we are all here to see your results when you are posting in the success stories section

lucyaitken33 · February 2014

hey there, i like many thousands of people have tried in vain for years to loose weight trying everthing under the sun every fad and gimmick with no result.
last year i came across the 5:2 diet and have to say it is acbsolutly brilliant and it isnt a diet its a way of eating and best of all you only do it 2 days a week. i started in september and reached my first whole stone in december, its slow and up and down but for the first time in many years i have been sucsessfull. all the consultants , specialists and doctors are recommending this. i doesnt just have the benefits of loosing weight either. Any way i would reccomend this to everyone to try and there are now loads of books on it to, Michael Moseley is the man who started it all.
good luck on your journey x

avm1962 · February 2014

OK, so I am new to the weight loss thing, blogging, forums etc. I quit smoking in 2009 after being diagnosed with cancer. I have to say that really sucked but here I am, after radiation and chemo, cancer free . I have gained a rather large sum of weight since then and have recently been to countless physicians, specialists, weight loss centers, programs, surgeons (yes considering surgery) but then I thought what the hell am I doing!? I have not been holding myself accountable and I guess I need to do that sometime. So right now, you are an inspiration to me because you have lost. Don't think of it as only 3, celebrate because you did loose. Hopefully I will follow in your footsteps this week with a loss on my ticker. Keep up the good work.

I am humbled - how awesome you are - you beat cancer - you superstar you!! My Dad had lung cancer 20 years ago - he is 84 now - and proved it can be done! So a mega mega mega hug to you! Will join you in your journey :flowerforyou:

avm1962 · February 2014

hey there, i like many thousands of people have tried in vain for years to loose weight trying everthing under the sun every fad and gimmick with no result.
last year i came across the 5:2 diet and have to say it is acbsolutly brilliant and it isnt a diet its a way of eating and best of all you only do it 2 days a week. i started in september and reached my first whole stone in december, its slow and up and down but for the first time in many years i have been sucsessfull. all the consultants , specialists and doctors are recommending this. i doesnt just have the benefits of loosing weight either. Any way i would reccomend this to everyone to try and there are now loads of books on it to, Michael Moseley is the man who started it all.
good luck on your journey x

Actually - my husband did suggest to me yesterday - to give this one month, and if I dont see the results I want - to try 2 days on Total Food Replacement (which is 400-600cals) and five days on this plan. He knows zero about diets - and had no idea what he was suggesting was in fact, similar to a 5:2 diet. I will see how it goes - what do you eat on your 5 days?

jasper186 · February 2014

First of all welcome to MFP. You will find many supportive people on this site and we are all here for the same reason regardless how much or little we want to lose. I am back for the second time, I lost 14lbs a couple of years ago, kept it off for over a year and then gained it all back again. The reason I gained it all back it I stopped logging and measuring my food and crept back into the bad habits that got me here in the first place. The answer to your question is YES this does work but only if you are completely honest with yourself and log everything you eat. It will take time it will not happen overnight. There are dozens of posts that say "you didn't gain it in a month or two and you won't lose it thay way either". I am finding that patience is the most difficult part of the whole process. I changed from weighing every day to only once per week, that seems to help me because I don't fret over the ups and downs and I'm never sure if I have lost or not leading up to weight day so I try harder to stay on track. I have always believed that to lose weight I had to work out, alot....I am finding this is not true, it is all about calories in and calories out. Someone on one of the forums said it best "I don't work out to lose weight, I work out so I can eat more". I try to walk as much as I can because it makes me feel better but I am finding out it is not necessary for weight loss. Try to set small goals for yourself and put the failure thoughts out of your head, you can do this. I'm sending you a friend request.

Scared to fail

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