Help with Stubborn Girlfriend

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cmurda26
cmurda26 Posts: 3
in Health and Weight Loss
So I've been lurking the MFP forums for a bit (and thank goodness I did, I was doing it all wrong), and I figured you guys could help me out a bit.

I need to convince my girlfriend to eat back her exercise calories.

Currently, she'll have a thousand calorie deficit or so at the end of the day from walking around campus and her exercising in the morning. She's upset that she's not losing weight, and I've tried to tell her that it may be due to her not eating exercise calories back.

The way she sees it, it's "completely stupid" that she could lose weight by eating more food. I tried explaining that her body sort of holds on to the extra calories, but alas it doesn't help.

Anyone else had this kind of experience? How do I convince a stubborn girlfriend to eat her calories back!

Replies

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Tell her to try it for two weeks. Ask her to trust you. If she doesn't do it she'll probably figure it out eventually on her own.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Yes, we've all heard it, unfortunately. Maybe she will listen to you once she sees that you're losing weight eating a reasonable amount of calories. Lead by example, and hopefully that will work.
  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
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    Is she actually using MFP or is she doing TDEE?

    If she is doing TDEE and already subtracted her percentage, then she absolutely does not need to eat back exercise calories since it's already included.

    If she is using MFP, she should regularly be receiving messages that she needs to eat more from the app if she is under eating. If this is the case, it will probably take her passing out/losing hair/getting brittle nails for her to see the light.

    I'm sure she believes that the body is a very simple math equation and the less you eat and the more you exercise, obviously, you're going to just dump fat. Sadly this isn't how the human body works, it will start to dump muscle tissue as she continues down this path. And it's pretty time consuming and difficult for a woman to regain pounds of muscle.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    How long has she been doing this? She should definitely be seeing weight loss with a 1000 calorie deficit. My guess is, she is eating far more than either of you think.
  • cmurda26
    cmurda26 Posts: 3
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    She's using MFP. She has been complaining lately of suffering from lack of energy, I suppose that could be a direct consequence.

    She says she's not hungry and I believe her (when she is hungry, she eats!), but she's also not seeing the results she wants.

    I'll try and talk to her about it again though she seems annoyed with me about it. And myself, I've lost 9 pounds thus far after 3-4 weeks, I hope she'll start believing me soon!
  • bumblebreezy91
    bumblebreezy91 Posts: 520 Member
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    Direct her to us, we'll tell her. :happy:

    ETA: Would she be partial to eating back tiny amounts of her exercise calories until she feels comfortable enough to know she isn't eating too much for her activity level? Like increasing by 50 calories each week, for example?
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    How long has she been doing this? She should definitely be seeing weight loss with a 1000 calorie deficit. My guess is, she is eating far more than either of you think.

    ^^^ Let me emphasize this.

    She isn't failing to lose weight because she's not eating enough for that long. That's not how it works. Somewhere there's an error in the calorie intake and/or calorie burn estimations you're using. Check for accuracy before anything else.

    Is she weighing all her food?
    How is she estimating the calorie burns?
  • rejectuf
    rejectuf Posts: 487 Member
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    I'm not sure how walking around a campus and a morning workout produces a calorie deficit of 1000. That sounds like either a very intense multiple hour workout or a big overestimation.
  • chelseafxx
    chelseafxx Posts: 251 Member
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    I would also double and triple check the numbers before bringing up the conversation again (since she is annoyed). How tall is she? Because I walk around campus all day and I never log that because I feel like I'm not even burning a significant enough amount of calories to count it. I would consider that her activity level (lightly active). I'm only 5'2" and I couldn't even imagine how long I would have to workout in the morning to burn 1000 calories. I'll only burn in the high 200's or low 300's even after a great workout that has me sweating and huffing and puffing at the end. I would also measure food for at least 2 weeks so you know that's accurate. Sometimes you just don't realize you're eating more than the serving unless you measure.
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
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    A couple things here, first if she is not new to walking around campus, the body can adapt to a regular activity and adjust for that. She probably shouldn't log that into her exercise diary but could put that into het setup info. Second, weigh and measure everything that isn't pre portioned. And lastly, she should consider going to see her doctor and getting some basic tests done to be sure she doesn't have any medical issues that are preventing weight loss.


    Eta: I'm 5'2" and I burned 1200 cals on my 10 mile run last weekend. It took just under two hours to run that far and running is one of the highest calorie burners. I'm just putting that in for comparison.
  • runitskat
    runitskat Posts: 30
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    I'm a 5'3 female and I burn about 1000 calories by biking 20 miles at a pretty fast pace. Walking around campus and the average workout will get you no where near that. She needs to figure out how much she's really burning (not counting the walking) and how much she's really eating since something is not right.
  • mulecanter
    mulecanter Posts: 1,792 Member
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    How long has she been doing this? She should definitely be seeing weight loss with a 1000 calorie deficit. My guess is, she is eating far more than either of you think.

    This.

    If I have anything near that kind of deficit I get light-headed and panicky from low blood sugar. It takes a hell of a big deficit over time to get in starvation mode.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I'm a 5'3 female and I burn about 1000 calories by biking 20 miles at a pretty fast pace. Walking around campus and the average workout will get you no where near that. She needs to figure out how much she's really burning (not counting the walking) and how much she's really eating since something is not right.

    I'm 5'7", and I burn about 665 calories for a 90 minute moderate-vigorous bike ride. An average cardio workout for 30 minutes might burn 200. Walking around campus might give her a total of 400 calorie day, presuming she's walking at a purposeful clip and walks a long way.

    And if she isn't weighing her food, she's probably eating more than she thinks.
  • runitskat
    runitskat Posts: 30
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    I'm a 5'3 female and I burn about 1000 calories by biking 20 miles at a pretty fast pace. Walking around campus and the average workout will get you no where near that. She needs to figure out how much she's really burning (not counting the walking) and how much she's really eating since something is not right.

    I'm 5'7", and I burn about 665 calories for a 90 minute moderate-vigorous bike ride. An average cardio workout for 30 minutes might burn 200. Walking around campus might give her a total of 400 calorie day, presuming she's walking at a purposeful clip and walks a long way.

    And if she isn't weighing her food, she's probably eating more than she thinks.

    Maybe I walk slow but I only burn about 60 calories per mile. I'm also not sure how much walking is involved with schools and stuff like that but it can't be anything worth counting. At least not for me personally.

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