How to lose 2 lbs in 24 hours

sunshine1082
sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know there are a lot of people out there that hope to lose ridiculous amounts of weight in unrealistic amounts of time, so I thought I'd share with you a little secret I discovered. Just follow these easy steps!

1. Contract food poisoning.
2. Spend the evening locked in the bathroom vomiting up what you wrongly thought was a tasty lunch.
3. Spend the entire following day in bed wishing you could take something to knock you unconscious, but knowing that if you did, you would probably just throw it up anyway. Eat next to nothing out of fear of repeating the previous evening's activities.

I think I'm going to patent this new diet plan and give it some flashy title. If anyone can help me with the naming I'll give you a cut of the profits.



Disclaimer: Although I really hope no one out there is taking me seriously, just in case someone is, I feel it is my duty to say that I do not support weight loss through food poisoning.



PS: Food poisoning sucks.
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Replies

  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
    Did you get food poisoning? ( I am assuming so )

    Yes, it does suck. I've had some bad bouts of food poisoning in my life and while it does make you lose weight, you feel like utter crap in the process.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Aw man! I had something very similar 2 weeks ago and all I did was gain 5lbs. Stoopit water retention :angry:

    Do you have scientific evidence that this will work for the masses or are you volunteering to be the guinea pig?:laugh:
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
    I had pneumonia once. I ate nothing for two weeks, spent most of the time vomiting what I tried to drink. I lost a whopping 3 lbs. Worst. Diet. Ever.
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
    Aw man! I had something very similar 2 weeks ago and all I did was gain 5lbs. Stoopit water retention :angry:

    Do you have scientific evidence that this will work for the masses or are you volunteering to be the guinea pig?:laugh:

    I was the involuntary guinea pig!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.

    So, like $39.99/mo? Do you accept paypal?
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
    WORST. THING. EVER. I got it while 4 months pregnant with that beautiful boy over there in that picture. I was in the hospital for a week. It was such a scary time and I thought I might lose him. Thankfully, things turned out ok, but it was the worst week of my life!!!!!
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.

    So, like $39.99/mo? Do you accept paypal?

    Too cheap! Something this golden has to be at least $59.99!
    Promised results with crazy side effects please!
  • dixoncrew
    dixoncrew Posts: 186 Member
    Yeah, food poisoning sucks. We went to a work party for my husband, the first one he's ever had with any employer, and me and 4 of my kids got food poisoning. It.was.a.nightmare.
  • Chellellelle
    Chellellelle Posts: 595 Member
    Been there!! A few years ago I had crazy bad food poisoning. I was throwing up at least once every hour for 24 hours and then I didn't eat for another 2 days because my stomach and insides felt so raw. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Why do I come here while I'm eating dinner? :sick:
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
    I know there are a lot of people out there that hope to lose ridiculous amounts of weight in unrealistic amounts of time, so I thought I'd share with you a little secret I discovered. Just follow these easy steps!

    1. Contract food poisoning.
    2. Spend the evening locked in the bathroom vomiting up what you wrongly thought was a tasty lunch.
    3. Spend the entire following day in bed wishing you could take something to knock you unconscious, but knowing that if you did, you would probably just throw it up anyway. Eat next to nothing out of fear of repeating the previous evening's activities.

    I think I'm going to patent this new diet plan and give it some flashy title. If anyone can help me with the naming I'll give you a cut of the profits.



    Disclaimer: Although I really hope no one out there is taking me seriously, just in case someone is, I feel it is my duty to say that I do not support weight loss through food poisoning.



    PS: Food poisoning sucks.

    Spew 2, Diet of the Stars
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
    I got food poisoning late last year and dropped 5 lbs in 36 hours. The weight drop was both unbelievable and scary, my body was going through all kinds of bizarre pains during this time. I think my kidneys and liver were going berserk. However, most of it ended up coming back over the next week as I got better. So I can hardly recommend it as a proper dietary and nutritional course of action. ;)
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
    I can vouch for the OP...
    Last April I contracted some sort of bug/infection and had those issues for over a week, lost 22lbs.
    It was not pleasant...
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
    I can vouch for the OP...
    Last April I contracted some sort of bug/infection and had those issues for over a week, lost 22lbs.
    It was not pleasant...

    22lbs? Yikes, that sounds scary.
  • Froody2
    Froody2 Posts: 338 Member
    I once proudly held a 20 year vomiting record. That is, until I decided to treat myself to Chinese - hello Niagara Falls from both ends.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
    ugh i had the stomach flu last week and my system was empty by the end... i lost almost 5lbs in a day... :noway:
  • haycoray
    haycoray Posts: 1 Member
    Haha! Thank you for this. I got food poisoning on the day before Thanksgiving 2013 and spent a day vomiting and three days eating crackers (no stuffing for me, couldn't even look at it!). I lost 5 lbs but once I was able to eat and exercise again, it came right back. Too funny.
  • jcast92
    jcast92 Posts: 144 Member
    Agreed. One time I got food poisoning and I couldn't eat or drink or even think of food for 3 days.

    I got past my plateau, but at a terrible cost. It's an awful feeling, not knowing whether you're about to **** or vomit or both.
  • EvenThatNameIsTaken
    EvenThatNameIsTaken Posts: 164 Member
    So sorry! But also thanks for the giggle... :tongue:
  • Unknown
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  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
    A migraine will do it too, I lost 600gr in 6hours.
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
    It's ridiculous to try & patent this diet... and especially to try and profit from it!

    Anyone can order a large fried rice at their local Chinese restaurant for $8.99. Then all you have to do is: eat half, accidentally leave it out all night, someone else sees it sitting out and puts it in the fridge in the morning, and then unknowingly you eat the rest for lunch. Not that this has ever happened to me, IJS... it's a cheap way to lose a couple of pounds very quickly. Your idea is nothing new and not worthy of a patent, so stop trying to come up with a cool name so you can swindle people with your "diet"!

    Be safe out there ;)
  • licorice_tea
    licorice_tea Posts: 59 Member
    Food poisoning is only suitable for those looking to lose small amounts of weight, and once finished, dieters inevitably return to their non-vomiting ways and gain it all back. Might I recommend instead Tuberculosis, a solid lifestyle change.

    :wink:
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
    I can vouch for the OP...
    Last April I contracted some sort of bug/infection and had those issues for over a week, lost 22lbs.
    It was not pleasant...

    22lbs? Yikes, that sounds scary.

    Indeed, my Dr. wasn't to happy with it either, the bad part is that I was camping that week and getting weaker and weaker all the time. On the way home I called the Dr. to make an emergency appointment, when I got there my Doc pretty much chewed my *kitten* (we get along well so I didn't punch him, LoL). I did tell him that one of the guys I was with was a medic and we had a serious conversation about him giving me some IV fluids if I got any worse.
    I don't advise anyone to do what I did but I knew if I fell out I had some good backup so I wasn't to worried...
  • DonaldChadDavis
    DonaldChadDavis Posts: 89 Member
    DA Dada DAAAAAAAA Norovirus!
  • samijdkl
    samijdkl Posts: 35 Member
    i had glandular fever (mono) after xmas this year while sleeping 18 hrs per day i managed to lose 10lbs in 10 days only regaining 3lbs but since no matter what i eat and how much i exercise i cant lose a lb
  • Froody2
    Froody2 Posts: 338 Member
    Next time someone asks for advice regarding a cleanse on the forums I'm totally linking to this thread.
  • CaliforniaAJ
    CaliforniaAJ Posts: 196 Member
    I have been that sick twice. Once 10 years ago when I visited Florida (sorry, Florida). I came home sick and could not keep food down for a month. I lost 25lbs! I did put about 10 back on the next month, and the rest (and more) went back on over time. It was the worst month of my life.

    The 2nd time was food poisoning on the first day of a 3 week vacation in California. I was in bed for 3 days. I have no idea how much weight I lost, but I had to go and buy a belt to keep up my jeans. I had put it back on by the time I got home...LOL.

    I am sure everyone has had a moment in front of the mirror thinking "I would do anything....' but being sick is so bad for your body. I would not wish it on anyone.

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