How to lose 2 lbs in 24 hours

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sunshine1082
sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I know there are a lot of people out there that hope to lose ridiculous amounts of weight in unrealistic amounts of time, so I thought I'd share with you a little secret I discovered. Just follow these easy steps!

1. Contract food poisoning.
2. Spend the evening locked in the bathroom vomiting up what you wrongly thought was a tasty lunch.
3. Spend the entire following day in bed wishing you could take something to knock you unconscious, but knowing that if you did, you would probably just throw it up anyway. Eat next to nothing out of fear of repeating the previous evening's activities.

I think I'm going to patent this new diet plan and give it some flashy title. If anyone can help me with the naming I'll give you a cut of the profits.



Disclaimer: Although I really hope no one out there is taking me seriously, just in case someone is, I feel it is my duty to say that I do not support weight loss through food poisoning.



PS: Food poisoning sucks.
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Replies

  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
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    Did you get food poisoning? ( I am assuming so )

    Yes, it does suck. I've had some bad bouts of food poisoning in my life and while it does make you lose weight, you feel like utter crap in the process.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    Aw man! I had something very similar 2 weeks ago and all I did was gain 5lbs. Stoopit water retention :angry:

    Do you have scientific evidence that this will work for the masses or are you volunteering to be the guinea pig?:laugh:
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
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    I had pneumonia once. I ate nothing for two weeks, spent most of the time vomiting what I tried to drink. I lost a whopping 3 lbs. Worst. Diet. Ever.
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
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    Aw man! I had something very similar 2 weeks ago and all I did was gain 5lbs. Stoopit water retention :angry:

    Do you have scientific evidence that this will work for the masses or are you volunteering to be the guinea pig?:laugh:

    I was the involuntary guinea pig!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
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    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.

    So, like $39.99/mo? Do you accept paypal?
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    WORST. THING. EVER. I got it while 4 months pregnant with that beautiful boy over there in that picture. I was in the hospital for a week. It was such a scary time and I thought I might lose him. Thankfully, things turned out ok, but it was the worst week of my life!!!!!
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
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    Sounds legit. Where do I get it? GNC?

    From my trash bin, where I put the remainder of the food that made me sick.

    So, like $39.99/mo? Do you accept paypal?

    Too cheap! Something this golden has to be at least $59.99!
    Promised results with crazy side effects please!
  • dixoncrew
    dixoncrew Posts: 186 Member
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    Yeah, food poisoning sucks. We went to a work party for my husband, the first one he's ever had with any employer, and me and 4 of my kids got food poisoning. It.was.a.nightmare.
  • Chellellelle
    Chellellelle Posts: 595 Member
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    Been there!! A few years ago I had crazy bad food poisoning. I was throwing up at least once every hour for 24 hours and then I didn't eat for another 2 days because my stomach and insides felt so raw. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    Why do I come here while I'm eating dinner? :sick:
  • IIIIISerenityNowIIIII
    IIIIISerenityNowIIIII Posts: 425 Member
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    I know there are a lot of people out there that hope to lose ridiculous amounts of weight in unrealistic amounts of time, so I thought I'd share with you a little secret I discovered. Just follow these easy steps!

    1. Contract food poisoning.
    2. Spend the evening locked in the bathroom vomiting up what you wrongly thought was a tasty lunch.
    3. Spend the entire following day in bed wishing you could take something to knock you unconscious, but knowing that if you did, you would probably just throw it up anyway. Eat next to nothing out of fear of repeating the previous evening's activities.

    I think I'm going to patent this new diet plan and give it some flashy title. If anyone can help me with the naming I'll give you a cut of the profits.



    Disclaimer: Although I really hope no one out there is taking me seriously, just in case someone is, I feel it is my duty to say that I do not support weight loss through food poisoning.



    PS: Food poisoning sucks.

    Spew 2, Diet of the Stars
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
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    I got food poisoning late last year and dropped 5 lbs in 36 hours. The weight drop was both unbelievable and scary, my body was going through all kinds of bizarre pains during this time. I think my kidneys and liver were going berserk. However, most of it ended up coming back over the next week as I got better. So I can hardly recommend it as a proper dietary and nutritional course of action. ;)
  • JG762
    JG762 Posts: 571 Member
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    I can vouch for the OP...
    Last April I contracted some sort of bug/infection and had those issues for over a week, lost 22lbs.
    It was not pleasant...
  • sunshine1082
    sunshine1082 Posts: 85 Member
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    I can vouch for the OP...
    Last April I contracted some sort of bug/infection and had those issues for over a week, lost 22lbs.
    It was not pleasant...

    22lbs? Yikes, that sounds scary.
  • Froody2
    Froody2 Posts: 338 Member
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    I once proudly held a 20 year vomiting record. That is, until I decided to treat myself to Chinese - hello Niagara Falls from both ends.
  • erinxo13
    erinxo13 Posts: 892 Member
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    ugh i had the stomach flu last week and my system was empty by the end... i lost almost 5lbs in a day... :noway:
  • haycoray
    haycoray Posts: 1 Member
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    Haha! Thank you for this. I got food poisoning on the day before Thanksgiving 2013 and spent a day vomiting and three days eating crackers (no stuffing for me, couldn't even look at it!). I lost 5 lbs but once I was able to eat and exercise again, it came right back. Too funny.
  • jcast92
    jcast92 Posts: 144 Member
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    Agreed. One time I got food poisoning and I couldn't eat or drink or even think of food for 3 days.

    I got past my plateau, but at a terrible cost. It's an awful feeling, not knowing whether you're about to **** or vomit or both.

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