???? help. :(

Ok, so mfp put me on 1,360cals a day. It was pretty manageable. I usually managed to net about 1,100-1,200 (I walk a lot as I'm still in school).

I really don't know if I should be doing this. I suffer from anxiety and a few months ago (maybe 5 or 6) I constantly emotionally ate and binged and I felt disgusting. I put on 4kg, from October to January. I'm not even an unhealthy weight - 5 foot 5 and 58kg (I was 53kg before) but I feel absolutely huge after putting on this weight, purely from binging and overeating at least 5 times a week, in the evenings.

My boyfriend says my weight is perfect and my family say so too, they all say it's good that I've gained because I was looking a little skinny before. But I am far from happy with myself and I feel huge and gross and I need to kick my compulsive eating. I know I should be doing this for me, which I am, but I'm really losing sight.

After netting about 1,200 a day, I feel exhausted and hungry and I really don't know if I should be doing this. At 1,360 I have a 500cal deficit, which is achievable, but I literally just binged and I feel terrible.

I changed my goals (to losing 0.25kg per week, and a higher goal - 53kg rather than 45kg) and now my goal is 1,620cals per day. I just feel so tired on 1,100-1,300 and to be honest, lacking motivation and feeling quite down, which is not good for either my mental health.

But knowing that I have had to increase my goal to 1,620 makes me feel like such a failure, weight loss seems barely achievable.

If I could, I'd do cardio every night. But: gym membership is hellishly expensive (although if I could I'd stay on the treadmills for maybe 3 hours a day); it's February, and England, so jogging outside is out of the question; there is literally no space in my house to move about as it is so small. Sigh. I know for sure in the summer I will be outside on my bike or jogging at least an hour every day. But right now it's kinda difficult. Not only lack of opportunity to exercise (I don't have much time on my hands) but also lack of motivation.

All I really do is my own little workout which usually consists of 100 crunches, 100 squats, 10 press ups (my arms have literally no muscle), 100 tricep dips, 20 pelvic lifts... but I know this doesn't really burn many calories.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just panicking a little because I'm making barely any progress and I'm losing control due to my recent binging episode.



I'm really sorry that this doesn't actually make much sense.

Basically, I felt I needed to up my calorie intake because I keep feeling tired and depressed and faint even when not dehydrated and after sleeping at least 7-8 hours. But now my net goal is higher I doubt I'll make much progress and I'm questioning if it's worth it.

I don't know if I should change my workout routine (I'm quite happy with it although it doesn't count because it's strength and I'm not sure how many calories it burns) or if there are any ways I can deal with eating just 1,360 and not feel tired. Is there anyone else who's had something similar? I don't know. I just feel so tired, faint, depressed and I'm losing sight entirely. Should I even be on mfp? Please help.