I am so scared, I really need help :'( (URGENT)

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Yasmine91
Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am not proud of what I've done and I really hate myself for this happening.

Last week, I went to my friends house. We like eachother and at first it was all innocent but then he started taking off my bottoms, I tried to stop him and I kept telling him to stop and that I didn't want it, but he wouldn't listen. He penetrated me and he wasn't using a condom. He only stopped when I started crying, he apologised and has been since it happened. I had to stop him from committing suicide a few days ago.

I am terrified of being pregnant, I'm only 19, I'm not ready to be a mum. When can I take a pregnancy test to find out? I need to find out ASAP :'(

If I do end up pregnant, how dangerous are abortions?
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Replies

  • kymberlin
    kymberlin Posts: 113 Member
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    this sounds serious. like someone else should get involved. But there is a morning after pill, check with planned parenthood. But really think you should talk to someone for help.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    But don't I need the morning after pill the day after it happened?
  • Vivx
    Vivx Posts: 121
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    72 hours is the maximum but if not u need to go to a clinic and make sure u arent pregnant !
    i hope ur ok and if u need anything mail me im 19 and im a yung mum ! its hard work so if u need anything im here !
    u shud maybe explain to ur gp what happened tho ! x
  • Caperfae
    Caperfae Posts: 433
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    Eeek , I am sorry you are going through this.
    Technically a pregnancy test can be taken 2 weeks after ovulation but since you aren't planning a pregnancy you probably aren't sure when that happened. You can probably take one in another week though since it will be two weeks after intercourse. Are you sure he "finished" (if you know what I mean).

    I think you both need to speak to someone. You said you stopped him from committing suicide the other day. That's serious because there's no coming back from that if he ever tries again and succeeds.
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
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    Hi,

    The best thing you should do is see a doctor. Even if you are afraid to talk to him/.her they are sworn to confidentialty. Pregnancy is not the only issue. You also want to rule out any possible STD's. As for abortion, that is a very personal choice and one you will need to live with for the rest of your life should you ever be in a situation where you want to end a pregnancy. Make sure you have an open and honest conversation with a medical practioner. Get all your facts ( pros/ cons) before making a decision.

    And Please don't hate yourself! At least you know you are not ready to make that step.

    Best of luck
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    Hi there, oh hun, I'm sorry for what has happened to you..
    I will say this though, the chances of you being pregnant are incredibly low HOWEVER...you could still be pregnant. How many days ago did this occur? If it was more than 72hours ago, I'm afraid the morning after pill wont be much use.

    You should test when your period is due..there are even some tests that can tell you a few days before you are due. If you are infact pregnant, then you need to consider your options very carefully. I am in the UK and only know how things are done over here...not through experience though. The risks of abortion increase the longer the pregnancy increases.

    However,
    1) I doubt very much you are pregnant
    2) If you are, you need to consider your options very carefully... abortions can have a great affect on your psychological well being....but so can having children after this kind of experience
    3) You need to consider whether you will be taking this further...afterall what he did was illegal..

    Only YOU can decide what will happen...
    Take Care :flowerforyou:
  • Vivx
    Vivx Posts: 121
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    and as for abortions there is a few ways they can be performed !
    as soon as ur find out ur result and decide what u want to do dont leave it to late make sure u go on with ur decision !
    the longer u leaver it the harder it is on u !
    so make sure u keep ontop of things ! x
  • pamp1emousse
    pamp1emousse Posts: 282 Member
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    I think you have up to 72 hours. Either way, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about all of this and I can't imagine how awful it all must be for you! All I can say is please try not to blame yourself or be ashamed of what happened because I really can't see how any of this is your fault... what happened must have been horrible for you and when you're ready maybe there's someone around you you could talk to about it? It sounds like you have way too many things going on to be able to cope with this on your own. Im sorry I can't really answer any of your questions - I'm not really sure of the answers, but if you're thinking about an abortion then I'd recommend seeing a doctor asap to try and figure out your options
    I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, just wanted to show my support. Sounds like you're a real trooper :flowerforyou:
  • Vivx
    Vivx Posts: 121
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    Hi there, oh hun, I'm sorry for what has happened to you..
    I will say this though, the chances of you being pregnant are incredibly low HOWEVER...you could still be pregnant. How many days ago did this occur? If it was more than 72hours ago, I'm afraid the morning after pill wont be much use.

    You should test when your period is due..there are even some tests that can tell you a few days before you are due. If you are infact pregnant, then you need to consider your options very carefully. I am in the UK and only know how things are done over here...not through experience though. The risks of abortion increase the longer the pregnancy increases.

    However,
    1) I doubt very much you are pregnant
    2) If you are, you need to consider your options very carefully... abortions can have a great affect on your psychological well being....but so can having children after this kind of experience
    3) You need to consider whether you will be taking this further...afterall what he did was illegal..

    Only YOU can decide what will happen...
    Take Care :flowerforyou:
    you couldnt ask for beter advice than that !! xxx
  • annaoj99
    annaoj99 Posts: 5 Member
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    You can take the morning after pill up to three days after unprotected sex but it does get less effective the longer you leave it.
    Please talk to someone about what happened and if your friend tried to commit suicide try to get him to seek help as well.

    Hope everything works out ok.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough, thank you so much for helping me :'(

    Thing is, I'm scared of going to see my doctor without my parents finding out what happened, if they find out they will kill me and I'm not even exaggeratting, THEY WILL KILL ME.

    I'll take a test today and take another one next week. It would be pointless taking the mporning after pill on the 7th day wouldn't it?
  • pamp1emousse
    pamp1emousse Posts: 282 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough, thank you so much for helping me :'(

    Thing is, I'm scared of going to see my doctor without my parents finding out what happened, if they find out they will kill me and I'm not even exaggeratting, THEY WILL KILL ME.

    I'll take a test today and take another one next week. It would be pointless taking the mporning after pill on the 7th day wouldn't it?

    Your visits to your doctor should be completely confidential.. But if you're still worried do you have free sexual health clinics in the US like we have here? I'm not sure about after 7 days.. you could ask the pharmacist? They'll let you know.
  • SandraMay1982
    SandraMay1982 Posts: 328
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    Doctor and a blood test. You'll find out if there is ANY HCG (the pregnant hormone) in your system at any point after conception.
    The doctor will also be able to send you to a women's clinic if you need to go through the abortion process.
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough, thank you so much for helping me :'(

    Thing is, I'm scared of going to see my doctor without my parents finding out what happened, if they find out they will kill me and I'm not even exaggeratting, THEY WILL KILL ME.

    I'll take a test today and take another one next week. It would be pointless taking the mporning after pill on the 7th day wouldn't it?

    No, you cannot take the morning after pill now. Your doctor will not be able to tell anyone! And if he does, he is breaking the law and many ethical regulations. This wasn't your fault however and therefore you have nothing to be afraid of...your parents would have no reason to be angry at you...that is however, your decision to tell them or not.

    You don't even have to see your GP if you don't want to...there are organisations out there who will guide you through your options. Take Care :flowerforyou:
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    If you did not consent, you are also the victim of a crime.

    You should not be ashamed, only he should be. What he did was reprehensible.

    A doctor will not be able to tell your parents, and can test you for not only pregnancy, but STDs.
  • pamp1emousse
    pamp1emousse Posts: 282 Member
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    I can't thank you all enough, thank you so much for helping me :'(

    Thing is, I'm scared of going to see my doctor without my parents finding out what happened, if they find out they will kill me and I'm not even exaggeratting, THEY WILL KILL ME.

    I'll take a test today and take another one next week. It would be pointless taking the mporning after pill on the 7th day wouldn't it?

    Your visits to your doctor should be completely confidential.. But if you're still worried do you have free sexual health clinics in the US like we have here? I'm not sure about after 7 days.. you could ask the pharmacist? They'll let you know.

    I just saw in your profile that youre from London too! If you're worried about going to your family's doctor you can go into any hospital or GUM clinic and see someone completely removed from your family. Another GP surgery may see you too if you describe your circumstances. Maybe you can share all of this with a friend so they can join you for support? This is a lot to deal with on your own
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    IF IT IS WITHIN 5 DAYS REQUEST AN EMERGENCY COIL FITTING

    If its longer than that then speak to your Dr or a womens clinic. They will talk you thru all the options in confidence.
  • indianajonex
    indianajonex Posts: 27
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    Hi, so sorry this happened to you. I'm furious.
    Talk to a doctor, find out what your situation is, urgently. NOW.
    He has big issues. From the moment he starts undressing you to the point there's a penetration, theres a lot of "no"s involved.
    You are young, probably like him very much, and he trespassed a very clear line. He must have counsel, therapy or whatever, urgently.
    Don't be ashamed, he should be.
    Don't feel responsible for his suicidal attempt. He is. Probably managed to do it so you could be there to stop him. Don't let him dragg you into that.

    AND HE SOULD BE HAVING TESTS DONE TOO, damn it.

    Hope you get over this and be ok!.
    Jane.
  • MissJennaBelle
    MissJennaBelle Posts: 175
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    I can't thank you all enough, thank you so much for helping me :'(

    Thing is, I'm scared of going to see my doctor without my parents finding out what happened, if they find out they will kill me and I'm not even exaggeratting, THEY WILL KILL ME.

    I'll take a test today and take another one next week. It would be pointless taking the mporning after pill on the 7th day wouldn't it?

    Going to the GP is completely confidential... you are best off going to them because they will give you all the advice you could want and the help and support you will need.

    You have to wait 2-3 weeks to enable a pregnancy test to be effective as far as I'm aware... Good Luck. As it sounded from your message (and if it reassures you any) I think there's a low chance you will be pregnant. Try not to worry too much about it because the stress of the situation won't help matters.
  • diverdi
    diverdi Posts: 64 Member
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    If you are in London you can attend one of the Rape Crisis Centres. These are fantastic facillities with very kind female nurses and doctors. They can talk you through your options regarding testing, treatments and offer counselling. They are free but not connected to your GP and no-one needs to know you have been.
    It sounds like you are too late for the morning after pill and coil but there is a new MAP out that has some effectiveness even after 5 days that might be an option.
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