Problem With Roommates

Before I ask my big question, I need to go over what has occurred: me and my boyfriend (fake names: David) moved from San Diego, CA to Syracuse, NY to live with David's brother (Sam) and his girlfriend (Julie). We knew cost of living was cheaper than San Diego, and both Sam and Julie made the assurance that when we get out here, it would be a "team effort," "all finances go into the apartment, everything is done for the four of us, and so long as bills and rent get paid, employment is between the couples only." Meaning so long as things get done, he doesn't care if someone isn't working. These were all the promises given to us before we got out there, and we settled in early November, just before the blistering cold weather hit.

Between the time that we touched down and now, several things have occurred. Julie's car was the only automatic vehicle available, and it was taken off the road permanently because it wasn't going to pass inspection for re-registration. That means the car has no insurance, registration, or license plates, and driving the vehicle could mean a lot more than just an expensive ticket. Sam's car is a standard, and he is the only one who knows how to drive it. Julie gave birth in late December to hers and Sam's child, but unfortunately the baby was born with spina bifida (sp?) and Julie quit her job to become a stay-at-home mother. Julie registered for government help programs like WIC, Medicare, and Well Fare to help take care of the baby. Since November, Julie and Sam have had a total of twenty big fights which resulted in Julie packing up all of her things and ready to leave (Sam fought for days to convince her to stay, despite the fact she deliberately broke many of his and her own things) and still stayed, Sam through his phone at a work truck and damaged the windshield (resulting in a debt to his boss to replace), Sam purchased another standard vehicle with a loan through his boss (leaving more of his money being taken out of his paycheck, and I recently found out that he's doing the same thing again for another vehicle from a coworker, this one for Julie), and throughout all of this, Sam is consistently coming to my boyfriend, David, for financial help, particularly with things that are not our responsibility.

My boyfriend already had a job when we got out here, but due to weather conditions, job hunting has become extremely difficult for myself, considering that I do not have a reliable vehicle to drive for job interviews and the weather is pretty icy to walk through (I try to manage, but I've only been here for three months and it's a huge transition from Southern California weather to Upstate New York weather). A little more than two months ago, Julie started acting aggressive and hostile towards me and David, at first complaining that we were "hogging" the living room and TV, so we were able to get a TV for our room and gave her the living room. Then she started telling us to stop touching the food she buys, (which I understand that this is typical for roommates), and Sam told us we need to start buying our own groceries and keep those separate. We were fine with this, but when we ask Sam to help with a ride so we can get the groceries, he tells us no, to "figure it out." The nearest grocery store is 5 miles away and everything we need we would not be able to carry on our own, let alone in this cold snowy weather. Because Julie has the living room most of the time and I don't work, I'm inside mine and my boyfriend's bedroom nearly 24/7, (I've got BAD cabin fever), and she starts complaining to Sam that we're here all the time and never leave, (this started as soon as she had the baby).

Anytime my boyfriend tries to say something to Sam and talk about our situation, Sam tells him that he doesn't want to hear it, that he's "tired of trying to make everyone happy," and tells us to figure out our own problems. Sam also turned around and told David that now I HAVE to get a job to help support David, but David told him why now, all of a sudden? Guess what Sam said? "She needs to help you so you can help the team." By "team" he means himself and Julie. By the fact that Sam and Julie are both going against their word to us, I told David NOT to help them out anymore. Rent and the bills are not getting paid not because of us, but because of them. They wanted to give us our independence and teach us to be adults, but why are we now suddenly supporting them instead of ourselves? Me and my boyfriend don't have enough money to purchase a car of our own, (even though Sam is constantly on our *kitten* about it, going as far as to say that if David wasn't spending money like he does, he would've already had a car -- which I thought was out of line). We pretty much are reliant on Sam to give us a ride when we want to go out, but because Julie throws a fit anytime he doesn't spend time at home with her and the baby, he's suddenly changing his tune and refusing to help us. And Sam has even gone as far as to tell my boyfriend that I don't do anything around the apartment, (I stopped cleaning when Julie asked me to because doesn't "like" how I clean), and when pointed out that Julie is in the same boat as I am, he comes back and says "she's getting paid to take care of the baby at home." Wow, really?

I want to say something to both of them and tell them off, but because the lease is expired without my name on it, they can very easily throw me and my boyfriend out without a place to stay. HOWEVER, me and my boyfriend are already planning to go back to California, and when we do, I'm going to throw it in their faces that Sam and Julie will be stuck with the financial responsibility of this place, with Sam being the only income provider among the two. Julie will have what she wanted, (us gone and the second bedroom for the baby), and Sam will be able to work on any cars that he wants, but my boyfriend is ready to cut his brother out of his life completely. I would've better understood if all the boundaries and rules were explained to us BEFORE we got out here, but then we wouldn't have decided to come out here to begin with. I know how living with roommates can be, there are certain rules and guidelines that have to be explained, but that should be BEFORE anyone moves in.

So, what can me and my boyfriend, David, should do? Sam and Julie are on a power-trip and I've already told them both that the way they're treating us is the way we're going to treat them. But that isn't going to fix the dilemma me and my boyfriend are in....