How to plan around an alcoholic

howcanthatbetakenalready
howcanthatbetakenalready Posts: 107 Member
in Chit-Chat
SO......

An old friend developed a bit of a problem. I lost touch.

He and I and a couple other friends are hanging out this Saturday. He is sober now and as goofy as it may or may not sound I'm not sure what to do.
I'd prefer he doesn't even have the option to order a drink but I'm not even sure where to go so that isn't an option.

My current plan is to get some dinner then maybe go bowling from there but I'm just unsure because I've never had to deal with this before.

Replies

  • howcanthatbetakenalready
    howcanthatbetakenalready Posts: 107 Member
    Holy cow this got buried to the middle of pg 3 with no reply and within an hr..:frown:
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    While I think it's really kind of you to be thinking about your friend and temptation, he will be faced with it everywhere for the rest of his life. Just pick a restaurant instead of a bar. The bowling idea is great because it keeps you busy and active. Just hanging out at a restaurant/bar is really a drinking type of thing.

    You really have to leave it in his hands because it is his sobriety. You're a good friend for being supportive.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    You can't protect him from himself. He has to deal with it. You have to respect his choices but steer clear of being the guy that cleans up after him and/or knocks down obstacles he is surely going to face.
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
    There is going to be alcohol around him for the rest of his life. You can't shield him from it, he's just going to have to get used to it. Let him know where you plan to go, and if he's not comfortable with it he can tell you in advance.

    And for what it's worth you might have better luck with this kind of subject in the motivation and support forum. Most people in here are more about the fun and games side of chit chat, maybe even more so on a Friday
  • jayclock
    jayclock Posts: 51 Member
    Make sure none of your friends are of the type who will say "come one, one won't harm you....."
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    If he has been sober for a decent amount of time I guarantee he has tools to cope. If he hasnt, it's up to him to tell you if a situation is triggering. Don't try to protect him, he needs to stay sober and you will not be able to do it for him.
  • Unknown
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  • iggylove123
    iggylove123 Posts: 302
    Well bowling is a good option! And he can handle himself, but a good way of showing support would be not ordering anything alcoholic to drink OR just one beer.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    mmmmmmmm alcohol.



    I've never been to a bowling establishment that didn't have a bar.
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
    While I think it's really kind of you to be thinking about your friend and temptation, he will be faced with it everywhere for the rest of his life. Just pick a restaurant instead of a bar. The bowling idea is great because it keeps you busy and active. Just hanging out at a restaurant/bar is really a drinking type of thing.

    You really have to leave it in his hands because it is his sobriety. You're a good friend for being supportive.

    I agree with this, You're a great friend for wanting to be suportive. But for the rest of his life it will be his challenge, Not yours.
    I have a parent who is an alcoholic, the stress of trying to limit and watch gets old fast.
  • howcanthatbetakenalready
    howcanthatbetakenalready Posts: 107 Member
    Thanks guys. Sorry if it's a dumb question. I've just never been in the situation.

    He did say no bars when I was trying to get everyone together.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
    SO......

    An old friend developed a bit of a problem. I lost touch.

    He and I and a couple other friends are hanging out this Saturday. He is sober now and as goofy as it may or may not sound I'm not sure what to do.
    I'd prefer he doesn't even have the option to order a drink but I'm not even sure where to go so that isn't an option.

    My current plan is to get some dinner then maybe go bowling from there but I'm just unsure because I've never had to deal with this before.
    If he is your friend, you help him.
    Be a friend and don't drink around him. Even if he claims it is OK for you to have a drink, just don't.
    Bowling, dinner, whatever the case might be, just have tea, soda, water...
  • howcanthatbetakenalready
    howcanthatbetakenalready Posts: 107 Member
    SO......

    An old friend developed a bit of a problem. I lost touch.

    He and I and a couple other friends are hanging out this Saturday. He is sober now and as goofy as it may or may not sound I'm not sure what to do.
    I'd prefer he doesn't even have the option to order a drink but I'm not even sure where to go so that isn't an option.

    My current plan is to get some dinner then maybe go bowling from there but I'm just unsure because I've never had to deal with this before.
    If he is your friend, you help him.
    Be a friend and don't drink around him. Even if he claims it is OK for you to have a drink, just don't.
    Bowling, dinner, whatever the case might be, just have tea, soda, water...


    Ya that was the plan. I told the other guys the same thing.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    you can ask him what he wants to do as well. Overall though I love all these posts. His triggers are his alone, just be supportive like you are doing and that is awesome.

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