EATING DISORDERS

Hi! I am really concerned about lots of beautiful girls promoting EDs or under-1000Kal diets. Does MFP control that? I think the site shouldn't allow people to enter those calorie goals... it is not healthy.. Just my opinion. I think MFP is a great tool to loose weight and become fit, but I just can't stand seeing those girls using this site to track their starvation process. I don't think this site wants to promote that.

For all those girls: hey you're beautiful. I understand that you want to look skinny (I'm in the same ship...) but come on, when It's enough it is enough. I'm no expert, but 500 kl diets don't seem healthy to me... How about eating properly, exercising and getting into a healthy BMI?

I do not mean to offend anyone, just trying to write out of common sense.

Replies

  • tayloryay
    tayloryay Posts: 378 Member
    If you see someone promoting a very low calorie diet on the message boards you can absolutely report them, as that's against MFP's rules and guidelines. The site doesn't control how low you can set your goals, though. Unfortunately you can't stop people from hurting themselves. Just try to encourage them to be healthy or to get professional help when necessary. For people with eating disorders, it's not an easy thing to stop their disordered behaviors and be healthy, so try not to get mad at them. It's not really about "common sense". Most people know it's not healthy, but they can't stop.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
    I actually prefer this site over others because yes, it allows you to set your own calorie range but at the same time it warns you that you are eating too few calories at the end of the day. So at least there is a disclaimer. I'm not encouraging calorie restriction because it leads to bad things but different things work for different people ya know? To each their own I guess. Personally I have gone from eating clean and sensibly to severe restriction to binge to purge back to just sensible eating. Although many folks say I'm thin enough and need to eat more. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I don't think folks should promote it but it is what it is. If we can't discuss it, we can't get support for it. Just my two cents :)
  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
    I feel bad for those girls!

    I had anorexia off and on for five years from 2005 to 2010. I didn't use MFP, but I did log my calories into a site called Xanga ( not sure if the kiddos use that still ). I had a blog and belonged to blog rings of other girls who had similar eating issues as I had.

    I used to only consume 700-900 calories per day. I'm currently on a 1200-1600 calorie a day diet ( I have the range for working out vs: not working out, and calorie cycling so my body doesn't get used to it and of course some leeway for myself too ) and I'm losing 1-2 lbs a week depending on what my body feels like doing.

    But my current diet beats my old starvation diets! I'd rather work my *kitten* off at the gym and eat sensibly than starve myself. When I was anorexic I didn't work out. I would get sharp chest pains when I would even try to run.

    It really isn't worth it. :( I hope the girls get better.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i always wonder where these girls parents and family are. i had a friend in high school who was bulimic and i was always amazed that her parents either had no idea or didnt care.
  • drBzy
    drBzy Posts: 9
    i always wonder where these girls parents and family are. i had a friend in high school who was bulimic and i was always amazed that her parents either had no idea or didnt care.

    More often then not, many people suffering with eating disorders are really good at hiding their disorder due to stigma. For instance, most people don't go up to their parents and say, "Hey, I'm depressed/anxious/cutting/etc. and I need help." Sadly, a lot of people with EDs learn different tricks to keep their disorder a secret from their friends and family, even from those closest to them or overbearing parents. In the first few months, s/he might say they are simply on a diet and for more long term sufferers, the rationale might be "high metabolism". Either way, sad :(
  • Feervi
    Feervi Posts: 30 Member
    I agree, with Internet now it is very difficult to keep track of what they do and the pages they visit. HOWEVER, If you see your kid is loosing weight rapidly you should worry a little bit. Hope everyone get over their ED and go on living a healthy life.
  • Bacardibarker
    Bacardibarker Posts: 48 Member
    Meshashesha2012, It's quite easy to hide making yourself sick. People see you eating but don't see what you do in the bathroom.
    I made myself sick on and off during my teenage years and early 20s. Nobody knew or suspected... not even my boyfriend who I lived with during my 20s.
  • Charloo1990
    Charloo1990 Posts: 619 Member
    i always wonder where these girls parents and family are. i had a friend in high school who was bulimic and i was always amazed that her parents either had no idea or didnt care.

    More often then not, many people suffering with eating disorders are really good at hiding their disorder due to stigma. For instance, most people don't go up to their parents and say, "Hey, I'm depressed/anxious/cutting/etc. and I need help." Sadly, a lot of people with EDs learn different tricks to keep their disorder a secret from their friends and family, even from those closest to them or overbearing parents. In the first few months, s/he might say they are simply on a diet and for more long term sufferers, the rationale might be "high metabolism". Either way, sad :(
    This!

    I've struggled with an ED nearly 5 years and I wish it was as simple as switching to healthy eating but it's not. It's like an addiction.
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
    I'm in recovery for bulimia nervosa right now, have had my struggles with it for a few years now. And I also have several friends with EDs, and everyone of us is on a different setpoint in life.

    And one friend of mine, P., wanted to lose weight with me. We are the same height and the same height (both in normal ranges) and we both starved outselves, had our binges etc... and While I started therapy and during this also an eating schedule, she continued her suffering.
    She complains a lot. She hates a lot. She is angry (and can't be happy for me, which I absolutely get). She gained about 5 pounds the last two months (with several ups and downs), while I started eating normally again. I struggled a lot.
    And I am not only healthier and more satisfied because I have more energy; I even lost weight.

    There is no point in simply focussing on calories and restricting yourself over and over. Learn to love yourself. Learn how to treat yourself better. Learn that it's not "all or nothing"!

    This year I started drinking milk with honey again before going to sleep. It seems such a simple thing but it was something I had not enjoyed for at least 6 years (besides during a binge)! And even though it's because of the honey (and maybe a cookie here and then) not the 'smartest' choice, but it is a healthy one, because it's healthy for ME.

    You don't need to survive on 600 kcal to lose weight. And neither SHOULD you. I'd report anybody who is drifting off; for their own safety and to stop them being a trigger for other people [like me].
  • xscat
    xscat Posts: 80 Member
    I hear you. I had eating disorders for years and no one had a clue. But I decided to put a stop to it.

    I'm Chinese. Sadly though a lot of the Chinese SNs are glorifying being super underweight (goal weights for a 5'3" girl are usually under 95lbs; and they say that's "not too much to ask".... wtf.... ) and eating ridiculously little. They call it "be thin or die" and encourage girls to just "power thru it"... Having gone thru all the struggles myself,what the media promotes is absolutely horrifying.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    I think my sister may have had an ED in the past after a hard breakup. She got through it herself but I remember my family and I were totally at a loss. She was just so thin... But seemed to eat. We didn't know how to help her and didn't want to make her feel worse. It was terrifying.
  • I've never had a full-blown eating disorder but I've had less than healthy eating habits in the past with restricting.
    The mindset I use to have was : "oh I'm very unhappy, and also dislike my body. The answer must be - lose weight > all my problems are solved yay for happiness!"
    I really wish we'd also stop glorifying being skinny and acting like it's some key to happiness or elite club. To feel good inside and out you need to be kind to yourself, so many people aren't.
  • Hmm not to be rude of anything but instead of blocking or not allowing them to use MFP how about you "friend" them and show them what a healthy diet looks like. Show them they can still lose the weigh healthily. I have eating issues. I never eat as much as I should. Working on it though. But honestly if I couldn't use MFP I'd be too terrified to eat anything.
  • Tracey_B_72
    Tracey_B_72 Posts: 1,021 Member
    I worry about my 14yr old daughter, I see so many of her friends looking so skinny and I've gone from fat to only 7lbs lighter than she is and I worried that may impact on her so we sat and chatted, she said I make her feel tall and lanky, she is taller than me, but she makes me feel short and dumpy. Luckily she knows I lost weight and I can only hope she stays sensible and is open with me, luckily I'm pretty streetwise and I hope I'd see signs.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Hmm not to be rude of anything but instead of blocking or not allowing them to use MFP how about you "friend" them and show them what a healthy diet looks like. Show them they can still lose the weigh healthily. I have eating issues. I never eat as much as I should. Working on it though. But honestly if I couldn't use MFP I'd be too terrified to eat anything.

    Because you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
  • lucasmoten
    lucasmoten Posts: 143 Member
    In some cases, it is healthy. It may be rare, but some people are not tall enough to warrant eating 1200+ calorie diets. I know someone that is 4'7". Her maintenance should be about 1150 if she was at a healthy weight. If she used this site, she would be getting wrong advice nonstop.
  • apparations
    apparations Posts: 264 Member
    Hmm not to be rude of anything but instead of blocking or not allowing them to use MFP how about you "friend" them and show them what a healthy diet looks like. Show them they can still lose the weigh healthily. I have eating issues. I never eat as much as I should. Working on it though. But honestly if I couldn't use MFP I'd be too terrified to eat anything.

    Because you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

    ^^^ Yup, this. I kept a few as friends for awhile hoping to have a good influence through diary sharing, etc. But it becomes clear very fast that many are not at all on the road to recovery. And while I tried to provide a good example, there were countless other "friends" who would like and congratulate unneeded weight loss and low calorie goals/ over exercising. I just cannot have that on my feed while I am trying to motivate and support others in a healthy way.
  • So pushing them away and making them feel like freaks is the answer? Maybe they don't see that recovery is an option because they have anyone to help or guide them. They are terrified of eating because they're scared to gain weight. You should be trying to show them that they CAN eat without gaining. I know it's super hard to understand, but you could be a little more open minded, everyone is fighting there own battles