Dogs > Cats

I dated a girl and stayed after it was over only because of the dog. She and I both knew we were dating because of our 3-some nonsexual chemistry with the dog. The dog died.

I dated another who had two Siamese cats. She told me they were gay for men, not for each other. When I was over they'd come and sit on my lap and purr. It was definitely sexual cuz they were vibrating like crazy. She told me they only did that with guys.

Cats vibrate? I may have to rethink this!

Only gay cats

Weeeeelllllll, HELLLLLO Kitty! My ears are vibrating.

I dated a girl and stayed after it was over only because of the dog. She and I both knew we were dating because of our 3-some nonsexual chemistry with the dog. The dog died.

I dated another who had two Siamese cats. She told me they were gay for men, not for each other. When I was over they'd come and sit on my lap and purr. It was definitely sexual cuz they were vibrating like crazy. She told me they only did that with guys.

Cats vibrate? I may have to rethink this!

Weeeeelllllll, HELLLLLO Kitty! My ears are vibrating.

I dated a girl and stayed after it was over only because of the dog. She and I both knew we were dating because of our 3-some nonsexual chemistry with the dog. The dog died.

I dated another who had two Siamese cats. She told me they were gay for men, not for each other. When I was over they'd come and sit on my lap and purr. It was definitely sexual cuz they were vibrating like crazy. She told me they only did that with guys.

Cats vibrate? I may have to rethink this!

Wrong bodypart!

Depends on where her head is. Duh.

I dated a girl and stayed after it was over only because of the dog. She and I both knew we were dating because of our 3-some nonsexual chemistry with the dog. The dog died.

I dated another who had two Siamese cats. She told me they were gay for men, not for each other. When I was over they'd come and sit on my lap and purr. It was definitely sexual cuz they were vibrating like crazy. She told me they only did that with guys.

Cats vibrate? I may have to rethink this!

Only gay cats

How can I tell if my cat is gay?

I dated a girl and stayed after it was over only because of the dog. She and I both knew we were dating because of our 3-some nonsexual chemistry with the dog. The dog died.

I dated another who had two Siamese cats. She told me they were gay for men, not for each other. When I was over they'd come and sit on my lap and purr. It was definitely sexual cuz they were vibrating like crazy. She told me they only did that with guys.

Cats vibrate? I may have to rethink this!

Only gay cats

How can I tell if my cat is gay?

He vibrates

Mine might be broken. I think I need customer support!

So your kitty is broken?

Cats are far more intelligent (my cat is compared with my dog ... but watch out for your moggie....


The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. *kitten*!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Dogs French kiss. Think of where that mouth has been.



So, when I get mine.. NO FRENCHKISS LESSON FER YU!!!!

You scare me a little.