how to deal with jealousy of weight loss

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  • ct320
    ct320 Posts: 89 Member
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    You should NEVER be with anyone who deliberately hurts you.

    Would you want that kind of relationship for your daughter?

    From the things you have reported, it sounds like he is sabotaging you in your weight loss and your confidence as a woman. He is seeing how much you'll take.

    For what it's worth, I don't think he'll physically cheat on you - not secretive enough for that.

    But he is showing a blatant disrespect for you and nobody deserves that. If you want to keep losing weight, then do so. I would say that there's a whole 214lbs that you could shift pretty easily, if you know what I mean...

    ^^^Exactly this dont let him put you down he is insecure and making you feel the same way!
    Talk to him tell him how you feel it is not ok for him to make you feel less attractive and blatantly oggle women infront of you infact he should be doing the opposite! Yes all men like to have a little look at other women and even fancy them but he sounds like hes rubbing your nose in it which is not fair at all :noway:
    if YOU want to lose weight do it for yourself, you will get so much support on here! and then rub his nose in it when its you being oggled by other men :wink:
  • erinbuberinxo
    erinbuberinxo Posts: 64
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    There's a method for losing 214 pounds in a day and feeling 200x better about yourself. xxxx
    Best comment
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    Clear out the bank account and do one!

    + 1 more!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I can tell you that if my husband treated me the way yours is treating you, we'd be having a serious "Come to Jesus" meeting about it - he could straighten up, or I'd be moving on, but I won't tolerate being treated like that. It did take about 7-8 months for him to decide to do something about his weight and start logging on MFP, though he only had about 40 pounds to lose.

    He treats you that way because you let him get away with it. Unfortunately, you can't make him act like a decent human being. The only person you have any control over is yourself.

    You can try having a candid conversation with him, but it doesn't seem as if he's willing to listen. If you do decide to talk to him, be blunt and direct.
    ** "This ogling of other women has to stop. Now."
    ** "If you can't be supportive of my efforts, keep your mouth shut."

    He can either comply, or not. What are you willing to do if he chooses not to?

    The real questions you need to ask yourself include:
    Am I willing to endure the completely disrespectful and abusive way he's treating me? (It really is abusive.)
    Since I know my child is watching, Is this the best example of how a man should treat his wife?
    Do I want my daughter marrying someone who will treat her this way? (She will gravitate towards it & accept it because you did.)
    Is it likely that he will change his behavior?

    You're the only one who can answer those questions. And no "Yeah, but.....'s". Those are yes or no questions, not based on what he was like 26 years ago, but based on who he is TODAY.

    Consider your options, determine what your needs are, and whether or not he can be supportive to you and your efforts to lose weight.

    Go forth with your eyes wide open, being completely, blatantly honest with yourself. The path you need to be on will show itself.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I seriously hope this is a troll post......if not, then the OP needs to get the hell out of that so-called marriage and get herself some therapy because that is blatant abuse and mental torture.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I seriously hope this is a troll post......if not, then the OP needs to get the hell out of that so-called marriage and get herself some therapy because that is blatant abuse and mental torture.

    ^^

    These threads are popping up all over the place!!! Come on, ladies!! And gents, possibly! Why are you taking this **** from your SO's?? Goodness gravy. I know you probably have history, but honestly, that's all it is at this point. This is ridiculous.
  • thatgirlkellib
    thatgirlkellib Posts: 150 Member
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    Sounds like you know what the problem is," Him " ...Problems are unneccesary...Drop it and move on...you have a while longer in this life...get some good health..and have a great life
  • justagirliusedtoknow
    justagirliusedtoknow Posts: 13
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    Thank you everyone!!! I hear everyones opinion and know what I have to do and believe me he is making it easier every time he makes a snide remark, comment or nothing at all. This is man that cant even remember our anniversary, 27 yrs this June!!! and he wouldn't even be able to tell you that. We are all each other has known. I have been with him since 1985 my sophomore year of high school.

    Please believe me when I say at one time I could have put him in the middle of a room with 50 sluts and he wouldn't do a thing with them. Not because he has a wife and kids at home but because he wouldn't do anything because of his personality but now, I wouldn't trust him with a 10 ft pole.

    The change came 2 yrs ago when we bought the Harley, I see this bad *kitten* Harley image and I hate it. I hate that he has done this to me. Never have I ever seen him pay attn. to another women in all our years and then BAM!!! its all hitting me at once. He does not think he is doing anything wrong, Ive tried talking to him he buttons up and wont say anything which pisses me off more and if there were counseling involved he would lie and say he hasn't done anything.

    Im losing weight for me, im a diabetic and dr said do or die. ive decide to fight fire with fire. I just wish I could hear you look nice today just once but I never have :/ BTW, I bought myself a Harley!!!
  • SephiraRose
    SephiraRose Posts: 775 Member
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    Sounds like you would be better off with out him. So sad for your troubles.
  • LTKeegan
    LTKeegan Posts: 354 Member
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    Sounds like he's having a midlife crisis. No offense, but if I had only ever been with one person my whole life, I'd go crazy too. But that doesn't mean you should take this harassment.

    I'd give him an ultimatum: lose the attitude or lose me. You have 2 weeks to shape up or ship out.
  • DianneOct2913
    DianneOct2913 Posts: 5 Member
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    I am sorry you are going through this.

    You are being verbally and emotionally abused.

    Have you thought about counselling? If he won't join you then go yourself at least to be validated and learn how to deal with it.

    Good luck!
  • justagirliusedtoknow
    justagirliusedtoknow Posts: 13
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    Good news everyone!!!!
    Tonight at our monthly HOG meeting another man, we share the same diabetic dr, he came upto me and asked how my diabetes was doing and talking about our mutual dr. Anyway, he looks at me kinda strange and says have you been losing weight, of course I said yes I have thank you and he says to me right on front of Mr I will look at other women if I want, you look amazing, really you look great!!!!

    Hubby walked away at the point thinking that I would follow him, nope I stayed right there so he came back over to hear the fella say again, I cant tell you how great you look!!!

    This man talks to me everytime we have these meeting but I couldn't tell you what his name is, don't care cause hubby got a rude awakening and I now have the self esteem I needed to push forward!

    Not too mention hubby must have told a co-worker about me losing weight cause he too saud to me tonight you know if your going to be on this health kick thru out the riding season your going to put us all to shame!!!!

    SCORE!!! I feel great!!!! thanks everyone!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I'd suggest marriage counseling. Was it good for 25 years? I couldn't end a 26 year relationship over one bad year without even trying to figure out what went wrong.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I'd suggest marriage counseling. Was it good for 25 years? I couldn't end a 26 year relationship over one bad year without even trying to figure out what went wrong.

    This. It is far too easy for people on this forum to pass judgement on someone's significant other based on limited information from only one side of the equation.

    Go seek marriage counseling and try to fix your marriage unless you are ready for it to end.

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