What would you tell your old self?

If I could go back to teenage-me...

First, I'd go back with a handful of photos, particularly the one that helped kick me down the weight loss path (for realz, not for sort-ofs). We'd talk about being a total fatty and the life that it lead to up to "the decision."

Then after letting teenage-me seeing the pictures, I would slap teenage-me. Hard. Hard enough to leave some kind of forever mark. This would serve two purposes - first to try to get myself to wake up a little. Second to prove/disprove that part of Looper with the scars (no spoilers, sorry).

And after that I'd talk to teenage-me about some of the more stupid things I've done in my life and the things I regret the most (sorry, not open for public discussion). And the things that are absolutely wonderful and that I love (wife, two wonderful kids, the runner's high after a 10 mile run, which pales in comparison to the first two on the list).

Then I'd probably wonder how the f**k I'm going to get home (remember that whole wife and kids thing...I'd want to get back to them)

Of course, if I were to do all that, I'd have to wonder...if I could have actually changed my past, would the "future" that lead me to do any of that happen? And if it never happened, would I have the impetus to go have that conversation. And if I didn't have the urge to change my former self (because my former self, as I know it today, never existed) then I wouldn't have changed anything which leads to teenage-me making all the same bad decisions which leads to me going back to change things which leads to change which to me not needing to change things which leads to.......you get the point.