Whats the definition of a feeder?

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bl1nk6
bl1nk6 Posts: 175
in Motivation and Support
My hubby was supportive of me loosing weight (generaly took the pee outta me and makes jokes alot but thats how he is) but ive noticed he comes home with mcdonalds or takeaways for out dinner or lunch more often and buys me boxes of chocolates or desserts and chocolate bars snacks from the shop every day when ive told him im dieting again and he doesnt normally do that when im not dieting im not even a snack type person??? So he guilt trips me saying hes trying to do something nice for me or give me a break from cooking or hes spent good money on it ..... we've had words about it a few times, he doesnt seem to realise he's doing it??? i think im just going to have to accept and hide the food and slip it to the dog lol

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  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    You'd know if he was a feeder. That's a paraphilia (fetish) in which a person gets sexual gratification or stimulation from seeing another person gain weight. It's not about how fat they ultimately are - it's the process of getting fatter that's the fetish. Once the weight gain stops, so does the interest of the feeder. Feedees will actually post on websites describing how much they're willing to gain and whether they're willing to go as far as immobility. It's fascinatingly disturbing.

    Your guy probably just has a plain old case of insecurity. Might even be subconscious as he says (but I doubt it). A lot of people don't like change and many are particularly fearful that they may lose their spouse/partner if that person becomes more attractive and confident. You can work on easing his fears even if he doesn't admit to them.
  • bl1nk6
    bl1nk6 Posts: 175
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    omgawd really! thats shocking! :O Hes not a feeder i was just sorta joking there.. but i see its no joke :S

    Does sound like more the latter but after 20yr of loyalty and never even looking at another man, i cant see why he would behave this way now :/ men! :P
  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
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    i think im just going to have to accept and hide the food and slip it to the dog lol
    That'll just make it worse when he finds out your doing it. Be a grown up tell him what you're doing and what your willing to eat and explain that there are times when you can have these things but it all needs to be planned and taken account of. Include him in meal planning. You and he can still enjoy food even when calorie counting it just takes some fore thought
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    omgawd really! thats shocking! :O Hes not a feeder i was just sorta joking there.. but i see its no joke :S

    Does sound like more the latter but after 20yr of loyalty and never even looking at another man, i cant see why he would behave this way now :/ men! :P

    Think of it like this: You are with him and while he loves you, he may see that because you are over weight you are not desirable to other men. Now you have lost weight you will be.
    or that you had no confidence in yourself and now you do and he finds it intimidating.

    Not every good at explainging but I hope you get the drift.

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