MFP calories goal VS other websites?

They're all estimates so each site may use a slightly different algorithm so you'll get different numbers if you put the same information in. Of course a TDEE calculator will give you a different number as it includes exercise unlike MFP. These sites rely on us using some common sense which you have it wasn't quite working for you so you upped your calories. There is only so much an algorithm can do and is in fact a guide the rest is down to us which a lot of people seem to forget

My TDee is 1780 on a couple of sites and 1300+ for BMR that is what I don't understand... why is MFP so low compared to all of the ones I have read?

What did you choose for a weight loss goal on MFP?
What did you choose for activity level on MFP?
What did you choose for activity level for TDEE?

Its hard to explain without knowing those.

I'll give an example.

If your TDEE is 1780, then most recommend eating TDEE minus 20% to lose weight, which would put you at 1424. You would eat 1424 every day. That would be a total of 9968 for the week.

MFP has you at 1230. On days you exercise, you are supposed to log your exercise and eat those calories back. If you burn 450 calories a workout, 3 days a week, you eat 1680 calories on those days and 1230 on the rest. That would bring you to a total of 9810 calories over the week or an average of 1401. Not exactly the same but close.
You aren't meant to eat only 1230 calories every day.

This is just an example of how it works. It depends on what you actually selected and how active you are.

SO after reading topic after topic of BMR VS TDEE on this site it seems like MFP has way under estimated my calorie intake.
They set me for 1230 a day and the other sites that people recommend have me at 1393-1450. So I manually imputed calories on here to 1340. I have been successful with the 1230 but feel tired most of the time. Thoughts on MFP automated Calorie consumption VS other websites?

You're supposed to eat back exercise calories with MFP...other calculators assume an estimate of your exercise calories in the activity level. Done correctly, it's really six of one. Here's what my numbers look like...

MFP to lose 1 Lb per week:

1,850...Add exercise to that...1,850 + 400 exercise calories = 2,250.

TDEE = 2,750...TDEE - 20% to lose 1 Lb per week = 2,200 calories.

A mere 50 calorie difference.

You also have to make sure you're selecting apples to apples weight loss goals...most people elect 2 Lbs per week with MFP...and they do a 20% cut with other calculators. A 20% cut is usually closer to 1 Lb per week loss rate goal for most people...that's a 500 calorie difference right there plus any exercise activity that is unaccounted for with MFP but included in your activity level with other calculators.

In a nutshell, you just need to figure out what method you are using and use the proper tool for that method and stick with it.

1390 and 1911 On that site

I don't understand what that means.

Your BMR is just your basal calories...you'd burn those calories in a coma Your TDEE is your total calories burned with all activity. Example...my BMR is 1753...my TDEE is around 2,750.