Self Image and Weight Loss

Options
Robin1117
Robin1117 Posts: 1,768 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I think about this way too much. Why is it, even though I'm on maintenance and a perfectly small size in most people's eyes do I still see myself as big? When I look in the mirror, when I see myself in pictures.... It's like my eyes see the same thing now as before I lost weight. If I didn't buy a size 4 pant I wouldn't believe I was--I feel like I'm a 10.

Does anyone else have this problem, or have any advice on how to see things more clearly?

Replies

  • sarahsmiles_04
    sarahsmiles_04 Posts: 17
    Options
    The best advice I have ever gotten is to "stop and control each thought" when I am experiencing thoughts or speaking in a destructive or negative way. This goes for more than body image or weight loss. I have used this successfully in many areas of my life, professionally and personally. Since this is a weight loss site, I will tell you that I used this as part of my strategy to lose 100 pounds and I did. I recently had a son and I am using this to lose that baby weight (and it is coming off).

    The key to the tool is to be vigilent about monitoring you thoughts (self speak) and the self-limiting/self-depricating comments that you may speak. It ain't easy, but it's worth it. I started with my most secret inner fear and told myself over and overagain for months, "I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe" then I moved to "I'm successful, I'm smart, I'm a good leader" then added stuff like "others respect me, etc"

    Good luck!
  • allmanro
    allmanro Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    I use to have that problem, and sometimes I find myself falling back into old habits. Like in pictures with friends I will say things like "Oh my face looks huge", or "eww my stomach". It never really goes away because you are your own worst critic. No matter how often your friends and family tell you how great you look, you often don't believe them. What helped me the most was looking at older photo's of myself and seeing the drastic change. Also maybe have a fun photo shoot, get some new fun pictures of yourself all done up and it will help you out a lot with your self-confidence.


    xoxo,
    Robin
  • KristyF08
    KristyF08 Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    I'm in the same boat with you. My husband and family all tell me how skinny I look and even though I love hearing the compliments and they make me feel good I just don't see it as much as them. I may feel skinnier some days but when I look at myself in the mirror I don't feel smaller :cry: I still have 6 more lbs I would like to lose but that really isn't going to change me that much... I personally think it's in our head...lol!
  • TanMac
    TanMac Posts: 77
    Options
    I have struggled with this since I was a kid. I am never happy with the way I look. I lose the weight and I feel like I need to lose more! It's a constant battle.

    I agree with Robin. Take some pics, get a makeover and enjoy the new you!
  • ironmule2042
    ironmule2042 Posts: 103
    Options
    I too have similar thoughts on some days. I tend to have the I look good but not good enough thoughts on an almost daily basis. Right after I have them I just try to beat those thoughts down with my "stop being stupid you're doing great" inner voice. Most days it works but some days it doesn't. It's an ongoing battle that I'm gonna win.
  • mstarrett01
    mstarrett01 Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    I feel the exact same way. I may not be a size 4, but I am down 3 sizes from what I was, and I am almost to the goal weight I wanted to be at in the first place 145 lbs. I still feel like i am 167, I see myself that way too. Even though my pants are smaller and everyone tells me how good I look. I don't feel it at all!
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Options
    I bought a size 16 jeans the other day but I still see myself as a size 26. I absolutely despise what I see in the mirror. My husband tells me I'm beautiful or gorgeous or whatever and I want to laugh. So yeah, know that feeling. Lol.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    This is completely normal, especially if you've been overweight for a while. Your mind's perception takes longer to catch up with your weight loss. That's why it's easy for some people to take it too far. They look at themselves and still see the flaws so they eat less, work out harder and get to a place where they become unhealthy mentally and physically.

    One thing that can help is approaching weight loss from a health standpoint rather than a weight or appearance standpoint. If all you're trying to do is get healthier it's much easier to recognize your achievement. If your goal is to be a specific weight or to look skinny it's much harder to see your accomplishments.

    Just give yourself some time, focus on the positive aspects of your weight loss and do something nice for yourself. Your mind will catch up, don't worry.
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Options
    I was just thinking about this...I'm the smallest I've been in 8 years and still see myself as bigger in my head. I feel like a blob most days but I'm trying to work on those negative thoughts.
  • Robin1117
    Robin1117 Posts: 1,768 Member
    Options
    thanks for all the replies. I see I'm not alone at all. I love the photo shoot idea Robin--I wonder if I would get up the courage to do that?? I will think about it.

    OK...focus, focus, focus on the healthy..... I like that too.

    And Kristy--good luck on your last 6!

    Any other suggestions are welcome, looks like we all need the reassurance and any techniques we can find. I'm not sure if this problem is going to go away too easily....
  • CaityB14
    CaityB14 Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    I hate the way I look sometimes. I'm still very self conscious about my body since my son was born in March 2008. When I started dating my fiance I was about 127lbs and felt great about myself. I got pregnant a year after we had been dating and weighed 140 then. I think I gained 35 pounds with the pregnancy and by Christmas 2008 I was about 155.
    I started Jan 2009 by going back on Weight Watchers and got back to my pre pregnancy weight by my son's birthday. I lost ten more pounds by the summer and have mostly kept the weight off. I seem to gain weight again every winter though. Right now I'm trying to get back down to 130ish after finding out I was 137 pounds right before Thanksgiving.
    Even at 130 pounds I feel like I need to wear Spanx if I am going to go out anywhere... so I look good enough. I have extra skin from my pregnancy and I don't feel like I will ever like what I see.
  • Uptopargolf
    Uptopargolf Posts: 263
    Options
    Use the thought to stay in check. IMO the moment we feel we are comfortable we fall back into bad habits. It is important to be happy, but always remember where you use to be. Because you don't want to go back there.
  • amysambora
    amysambora Posts: 219
    Options
    I've experienced this my whole life, but mine started as a kid. I didn't grow up in a very supportive environment. My mother had issues with food and would always tell me to stop eating or I'd get fat, or she'd take food off me and tell me she was 'watching my waistline'. I was totally normal sized but I grew up thinking I was fat, and I still have trouble getting past it.

    I'm just trying to focus on the good things. I'm a healthy weight for my height. I've lost two dress sizes. I have a wonderful fiance who loves and supports me no matter what.

    I love the idea of addressing the negative self talk - I'm going to have to start practising that! The changes have to come from within ourselves!

    I also try and remind myself that no one is looking at me as closely as I look at myself. I look in the mirror and only see the bad bits, because I'm conscious of them and know they're there. Looking at other people, I never notice specific things about them. I have to keep reminding myself of that...it's all in my head!
  • Robin1117
    Robin1117 Posts: 1,768 Member
    Options
    uptopargolf--I agree completely. I will never go back but wonder why even after we work so hard to lose weight our eyes still see flaws...just doesn't seem right!

    Caty--I was like you too, similar weight--pretty much in the normal range but I never really lost the extra 8 lbs or so after baby until I started this program about 4 + years later. The pregnancy definitely readjust things but I think it adds and takes away in different places. Friends on MFP say this is where strength training comes in although I have yet to find something I can stick to other than cardio.

    amy--thanks for your input--i never really thought about the mother part of it---I had one of those critical ones too. Addressing the negative talk as if it was my mother's input?? Now that just might work.

    .take care everyone!

Categories