please help - grocery shopping for dad

Bellusion
Bellusion Posts: 23
in Food and Nutrition
Hey all! I really need some help with this. My dad is in his 60's, lives alone, is disabled and has survived 3 heart attacks (2 open heart surgeries and the balloon surgery, forget what it's called). I owe my dad $300 and when I went over there this week to bring it to him, I found out he's been eating potted meat from the gas station and take out (pizza, chinese, etc).. so I offered to instead use that $300 to go grocery shopping for him... he's completely out of everything, all staples and such.

But here's the thing, he suffers from depression and loneliness (he's still in love with my mom who left him a few years ago). So as a result, he doesn't really care and is lazy.. so he won't cook much. I need ideas to get him better, healthier food without him having to put much effort into it. He has a microwave, a gas stove and a crockpot (I think.. if not, he can have one of mine).

He loves dried beans and tuna and skim milk so I've already got that on my list. I've also got those little frozen, microwavable single serve veggies on my list. Can anyone help with suggestions? Either quick convenience foods or simple recipes (include recipe). I would really, really appreciate it! I have no clue because I love cooking so spend way too much time on our meals. The only thing he has specifically asked for is cornmeal to make cornbread with...

ETA: Also, since he's single.. I don't think he'd eat much fresh produce before it went bad.

Replies

  • toddis
    toddis Posts: 941 Member
    What I learned from my experience with my dad is that you don't try to fix their diet. Every time my dad has got out of the hospital we buy him groceries...that he picks out because that's what he's told to eat. Next you'll go to his house and he'll have takeaway and pizza and who knows what else.

    So, I suggest getting him frozen chinese, pizza, and anything else he normally eats. But...bump it towards the slightly healthier side of the scale...but not so much that he wont eat it =)
  • Synamin
    Synamin Posts: 80 Member
    Include his favorites and throw in a few things you would like for him to eat. Instead of trying to make major changes his diet, (won't work unless he wants it) invest in spending more time with him and get other people involved as well such as other siblings, old friends, etc.
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    Since you love to cook, why don't you make a bunch of healthy freezer meals for him? Soups, chili, casseroles, lasagna, etc. freeze well. You can also fill freezer bags with everything ready to dump in a crock pot, like cubed pork or chicken and vegetables and a sauce. (I don't have any recipes, but I've seen websites--just do a little googling.)
  • writergeek313
    writergeek313 Posts: 390 Member
    I really like rockmama's idea. Along the same lines, you could even try to make extra portions of things you're already planning to feed your family and freeze them for him. I make freezer meals for myself for when I'm really busy, and within 10 minutes, there's a hot, healthy meal ready.

    Frozen veggies are a good choice if you're worried about fresh ones spoiling. Baby carrots seem to keep for a long time and wouldn't require much prep if he ate them raw or only a few minutes in the microwave if he wanted them steamed. Apples and oranges also last a long time.

    You're doing a really kind thing for him by encouraging him to take care of himself. It can be really hard to see a loved one putting his or her health at risk, but it' sounds like you're trying to help him without being forceful.
  • Bellusion
    Bellusion Posts: 23
    Wow, why didn't I think about of that? He absolutely loves my cooking but because of his depression, only makes it over for dinner about twice a month.. he would love that! When I went over there last, I took him our leftover taco soup and I think he ate it all day the day after, lol. Healthier and easy and something he enjoys. Thanks so much, off to search for freezer recipes.
  • MysteriousLdy
    MysteriousLdy Posts: 306 Member
    For someone elderly,60, who had went through By-pass as well as balloon/stenting (its Angio-plasty btw)

    Avoid all fatty foods, need to control carbs, use cup measurement for his carbs intake. Moderate intake of pastas, red meats. More consumption on green vegetables,legumes,soy products and fruits like apples,orange,etc.. if he is diabetes,he must take his medication on time.

    I suggest he go for dietitian help which available in hospital,they can provide much better detailed foods
  • Bellusion
    Bellusion Posts: 23
    Oh, he knows what he's supposed to eat.. he just doesn't care. He's gone through a lot of education and was very good with his diet until my mom left. He's not diabetic. Thanks! I will keep those guidelines in mind (he knows, I don't lol).
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    If my dad lived alone he'd probably have poached egg on toast or soup every day, as that's all he seems to know how to cook! If you can call that 'cooking'!

    If he likes tuna, he could do jacket potato with tuna, and maybe some salad. Or get quick cook pasta and he could have that.

    Are there any groups he could go to to meet people? He must get very lonely.
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,827 Member
    Budgetbytes.com and Organizeyourselfskinny.com are two of my go to sites for recipe inspiration that can be frozen into individual portions. My family loves most everything from there and I am helping feed a family member who is struggling right now with things from both of these sites.
  • MysteriousLdy
    MysteriousLdy Posts: 306 Member
    Aw..poor man, well life does need to go on with a brighter day,go out and take a leisure walk, have fresh air..dont let depression to affect his lifestyle.

    He really needs to watch food intake, cause he been through surgerys and stenting way too much at his age..it wont do good ,if the symptoms of heart blockage rises again..Heart,itself,has lots of veins..
    Quite a number of patients will try struggle with life using all his determination to get well for loved ones..from near-death experience.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    An elderly man who is suffering from depression, whose wife has left him, and has nothing else really in his life (or so he thinks) is not a good combination. Is he being treated for the depression? If not, then please get him some medical help for that. Strongly encourage him to get out of the house and do things with you and your family, or to get involved in a church or civic group where he can connect with others.

    ETA There is a rather common depression that happens to many older men after heart surgery. They are not sure why it happens, but it is a strong chemical imbalance that should be taken seriously. I learned about this with an older man in our church who went thru it twice, and it didn't end well.
    You may want to talk to his doctor about it.
  • Bellusion
    Bellusion Posts: 23
    Thanks all! We are trying to get him to get some help with his depression, but it's a touchy subject with him.

    We went to the grocery store today and we are currently making him (to freeze) spaghetti/meat sauce, turkey meatloaf, white chili with chicken, quiche, chicken stir fry, and asian marinated chicken drumsticks. All healthy recipes that he has tried at my house before and loved. We also bought him some kashi frozen meals, frozen veggies, tuna, mayo, 100% whole wheat bread, makings for regular chili, dried beans, bananas, carrots and a few other things that I think he will like and is easy. And I only spent $150 of his $300. :) Thanks so much everyone!
  • rockmama72
    rockmama72 Posts: 815 Member
    That's great!
  • SummerIsis
    SummerIsis Posts: 141 Member
    HIPPO

    We have a set of great grandparents that LOVE to receive frozen meals from Trader Joe's for holidays. Each daughter (my MIL and her sisters) will chip-in and fill a insulated back with all kinds of fun food for their parents to reheat. Another option is to buy, cook, and freeze the food for your father so that he's eating home-made food but you've saved him the hassle of cooking it.

    Also, our family eat a lot of beans, cheese, and rice. The beans recipe is simple -- dump a bunch of beans in the crock pot and cook on high for 5-6 hours. Add salt during the last half hour. Voila! Beans for a week.
    That's all I got.

    EDIT: Great minds think alike? ;)
  • keepongoingnmw
    keepongoingnmw Posts: 371 Member
    I think cooking frozen meals for him is lovely! I just went through three rough years trying to get my mom to make healthy choices and it was all for nothing. We can't force our parents to change, just be there to help if and when it falls apart.

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