Struggle with eating less
melladell
Posts: 34
Hello friends,
just wanted to say that I am very depressed of how I can not lose weight and gain instead. The last 4 days I eat between 2000-4000 calories without exercise and feel the worst in months!
I think it is because I recently began to live with my boyfriend and he likes me very skinny (but doesnt say to me to lose weight fast, just notes that I am not ''slim'' and never have been slim and gives me tips on how to lose weight). So that depresses me, as I have a lot to do (I study 12 hours a day min.). I have always been on the active side, look good and actually a lot of men like me. I am 5 ft 7, around 145 Ibs, 37- 25- 37 are my measurements and I have a little bit of visible muscle.
I definitely want to go down to 120-125 Ibs. But the more I try, the more I eat. I just cannot eat less than 1800 calories a day. I know this is an excuse. Do you have some tips on how I can get down to steady 1200.-1500 calories a day. I cant exercise every day, so I need to eat less.
Sorry for the stupid question, but it would be very helpful to me if someone says... something. I am in a sh** situation
Thank you guys
Mella
just wanted to say that I am very depressed of how I can not lose weight and gain instead. The last 4 days I eat between 2000-4000 calories without exercise and feel the worst in months!
I think it is because I recently began to live with my boyfriend and he likes me very skinny (but doesnt say to me to lose weight fast, just notes that I am not ''slim'' and never have been slim and gives me tips on how to lose weight). So that depresses me, as I have a lot to do (I study 12 hours a day min.). I have always been on the active side, look good and actually a lot of men like me. I am 5 ft 7, around 145 Ibs, 37- 25- 37 are my measurements and I have a little bit of visible muscle.
I definitely want to go down to 120-125 Ibs. But the more I try, the more I eat. I just cannot eat less than 1800 calories a day. I know this is an excuse. Do you have some tips on how I can get down to steady 1200.-1500 calories a day. I cant exercise every day, so I need to eat less.
Sorry for the stupid question, but it would be very helpful to me if someone says... something. I am in a sh** situation
Thank you guys
Mella
0
Replies
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I'm 5' 7" and my goal weight is 145 lbs. If those are truly your measurements, you must look awesome! I say ditch the boyfriend who only seems to be making you feel bad about yourself and learn to love and accept yourself for the beautiful person you are. :flowerforyou:0
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You are perfect at 145 and 5'7"!!!!!
Tell him to STOP giving you weightloss tips.
If you continue to allow him this power over you, you will create an eating disorder where none exists.
Don't try to go below the calories you are accustomed to eating or you will binge and gain in the end.
You are a beautiful woman.
If you want to add some exercise for your fitness, do it-but only if YOU want to !0 -
Your weight/measurements sound perfect and your boyfriend sounds like a d!ck.0
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Wow at 5 8 and around 140 my boyfriend wants me to eat and stay healthy don't give yourself an eating disorder been there done that0
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You don't have to eat less. Just change the types of food you eat to food that isn't as calorie dense and keep you more satisfied. I'm not saying go out and eat 12 pounds of broccoli, but that is how much you could eat and still beat your calorie limit. It just is a game of what to eat and what not to eat.
I won't get into your personal life. That is your business. I wish you the best.0 -
Here's an easy way to drop excess weight: dump the boyfriend. He's weighing you down, and you don't deserve that.0
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For your height, your weight is excellent, you probably can't lose any weight coz your body doesn't want to. I recommend telling your boyfriend to get use to it. I would love to be at 145lbs & I'm only 5'3". You're being too hard on yourself, please don't start eating less. If you're really going to continue to 'slim down', don't eat less, exercise more. Perhaps, tightening & toning your body will give you the image you & your boyfriend are looking for.0
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Here's an easy way to drop excess weight: dump the boyfriend. He's weighing you down, and you don't deserve that.
^^^^
This times 100. If you want to lose weight for YOURSELF, focus on what you're eating with getting plenty of protein and fiber to keep you satisfied throughout the day and exercising when you can. If you're not doing it for you, which it sounds like you're not, I would tell the boyfriend to kick rocks. Based on your current weight and measurements, you sound like a hottie.0 -
Those measurements sound good! It seems that your boyfriend is abusive. 145 lbs on 5'7" is a good size -- not large at all.
the most important thing for you is... how do YOU feel about yourself? It shouldn't matter what he thinks. I know its easier said than done, but how do you feel about how you look?
If you feel like you want to lose 10-15 lbs because YOU want to, then go ahead. But don't do it because of him. He sounds mean and that he is making you feel like crap. IMO, I think you might be pushing it if you get to 120 lbs at 5'7" depending on your muscle. You could look too thin.0 -
Here's an easy way to drop excess weight: dump the boyfriend. He's weighing you down, and you don't deserve that.
^^^^
This times 100. If you want to lose weight for YOURSELF, focus on what you're eating with getting plenty of protein and fiber to keep you satisfied throughout the day and exercising when you can. If you're not doing it for you, which it sounds like you're not, I would tell the boyfriend to kick rocks. Based on your current weight and measurements, you sound like a hottie.
This.
Move back in with your mother if you need to but get out of that controlling relationship! Do you really want to grow old with this disrespectful loser?0 -
#1 - ditch the boyfriend. he sounds like a prick. Nobody should tell you those things let alone think those things if they're your significant other. Your "better half" is there to make ourselves happy not make each other feel like we could do better..
#2 - have you done a BMI calculation? it'll tell you what the target weight range should be for your specific body type.
#3- if those are your true calculations you should be lookin hot lol so dont worry about it! lose weight on your own time. if you're too depressed to each the 1200-1500 cals a day you need to get your head in check first. Nothing is more important than your inner-self health!!0 -
A partner that loves you is interested in your health and well being, not creating a bad body image, eating disorders, or putting you down. Sounds like you are, or will be emotionally abused y that *kitten*, please value yourself and reevaluate why you are with this *kitten*! Stay strong, stay healthy!Wow at 5 8 and around 140 my boyfriend wants me to eat and stay healthy don't give yourself an eating disorder been there done that0 -
Question: How does your weight become a topic of conversation it's your boyfriend? Have you all along been happy with your body and he's decided you need to drop weight? Have you gained a lot recently? Have you been talking about your weight a lot?
Because if he's picking on you and giving you unsolicited nudges, then yeah, I hope he has some other really wonderful qualities.
But if you are the one fretting about it, and he's talking to you about it, that's a different story.0 -
The first solution on MFP is always to dump the man.
When a woman writes that her boyfriend does not support her weight loss goals, and instead keeps trying to get her to eat cupcakes, the people here all scream "Dump your boyfriend." But when a woman writes that her boyfriend is not only supportive but actually tries to give her tips on weight loss, the people here all scream "Dump your boyfriend."
The irony is that OP came here asking for tips on losing weight. Here's a tip: follow your boyfriend's tips. You have someone in your life supportive of your weight loss journey who gives you tips. Yet, you ignore his tips and come here and ask for tips. Are his tips that bad? Do you think the tips you will get here are better?
Note that OP's request was about food, and the advice from all the folks who commented was about the boyfriend.0 -
< 5'7" 148# 35-26-37
Your bf is a douche.0 -
The first solution on MFP is always to dump the man.
When a woman writes that her boyfriend does not support her weight loss goals, and instead keeps trying to get her to eat cupcakes, the people here all scream "Dump your boyfriend." But when a woman writes that her boyfriend is not only supportive but actually tries to give her tips on weight loss, the people here all scream "Dump your boyfriend."
The irony is that OP came here asking for tips on losing weight. Here's a tip: follow your boyfriend's tips. You have someone in your life supportive of your weight loss journey who gives you tips. Yet, you ignore his tips and come here and ask for tips. Are his tips that bad? Do you think the tips you will get here are better?
Note that OP's request was about food, and the advice from all the folks who commented was about the boyfriend.
Dump the boyfriend. At those measurements and that weight, the boyfriend should have told you not to change a thing, and that you looks great just the way you are.0 -
You are at a perfectly healthy weight for your height, so losing more weight may not be the solution here. You might have better luck working on body recomposition, especially since you are having trouble cutting calories, if you (and only you, not your boyfriend) would like to see some changes. In order to do that, you would be able to eat, get plenty of protein, and would need to start a strength training routine. You wouldn't necessarily see the lbs drop on the scale, but you would burn body fat and see inches disappear, if that's something you are interested in.0
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I'm with everyone else. You don't have to lose weight. Your boyfriend shouldn't try and put you down when you are healthy. Sounds like he's the one with issues, not you.0
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Here's an easy way to drop excess weight: dump the boyfriend. He's weighing you down, and you don't deserve that.
^^^This. If he wants someone thinner than you, move out and wish him luck finding her. You are right in the middle of healthy BMI for your height and your measurements would make some women green with envy. Then go find someone who is interested in loving you the way you are instead of making you the woman he wants.0 -
A BIG thanks to all of you, who answered me! I appreciate every answer!
Now a little bit more from me:
I myself want to lose a bit, but just a little bit. I also began taking the pill because of my boyfriend and he told me that since taking it he can't catch my *kitten* with one hand any more, it is getting bigger. Its just not true, because I have always been this size.
He is very nice and always says that I look beautiful and doesnt say ''lose weight'', but he means it indirectly. For example he makes compliments of how slim another woman is or how beautiful and always likes some skinny *****es.
I was once 120 Pounds and looked veeeeery very skinny and he said: ''Why dont you get down again'', ''I like you on this picture, you look very good''. I am not the kind of person who makes something for someone else. But this time I think I got crazy obsessed and now thinking about it I should really stop. Every week at least 2-3 men ask me to go out and tell me I am very beautiful, but not my boyfriend. Also our sex life sucks now. (ughhh, writing this makes me actually see how blind I am/was....)
Anyway... I really want to lose a bit, but he was a big motivation for me.
Thank you all, all my depression comes from the pressure I feel to live with a man that doesnt compliment me enough and that obviously doesnt think I am sexy. ( I was a make up and hair model before, at least my face and hair are beautiful haha, as stupid as it may sound)
All the best,
Mella0 -
I'm 5' 7" and my goal weight is 145 lbs. If those are truly your measurements, you must look awesome! I say ditch the boyfriend who only seems to be making you feel bad about yourself and learn to love and accept yourself for the beautiful person you are. :flowerforyou:
THIS!!!!! You are not 100 over weight or anything! Wtf.. You are beautiful inside and out! I think you need to have a sit down with him! Also fiber and switching to whole grains keeps me very full.. I eat 1300 to 1400 a day.. and I am not hungry.. Research healthy foods that keep you full.. go from there.. but do it for YOU!!!0 -
Your boyfriend sounds like a major douche. Wanna know something that's awesome for you and depressing for me? I measured my thigh today. It was 38". Lol look, one of my thighs is as wide as your bust and hips. Your measurements sound perfect. Sounds like you need to drop him like he's hot. Focus on you, you don't need to lose weight for anyone but yourself.0
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Sounds like you need to lose some weight -- that is -- the weight of the douche that you are dating.0
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He is very nice and always says that I look beautiful and doesnt say ''lose weight'', but he means it indirectly.
Thank you all, all my depression comes from the pressure I feel to live with a man that doesnt compliment me enough and that obviously doesnt think I am sexy. ( I was a make up and hair model before, at least my face and hair are beautiful haha, as stupid as it may sound
Which is it though; he always says you look beautiful or he doesn't compliment you enough? C'mon, girl, you need a self-esteem adjustment and maybe change your expectations a bit. If he's real nice, as you claim, are you SURE you're not putting words in his mouth? Absolutely sure? Because thinking some thinner chicks are hot is NOT a crime, because some are hot!
Now if the sex sucks and can't be fixed, run like hell.
Edit: By any chance do you tell your boyfriend about the 2-3 men who ask you out per week?0 -
Thank you for the answers again. Also : I dont follow his "tips", because he is not that into healthy eating. He was a bodybuilder years ago and won a strenght competition, but he eats all the junk he wants, he is just big and muscular, not very ripped. He looks good and a lot of women like him, but I am healthier than he is.
Sorry for the emotionality, it is not a forum for personal problems, but I wanted to share with someone, since I dont feel comfortable to say it to my girlfriends. Somehow....
Wish you good luck and if you need some support or weight loss buddies, feel free to add me. 0 -
rockmama, ^^ No, I dont tell him, because I dont want him to feel insecure. I want him to believe he is the only one for me, because it is true.
I meant he is really nice, he doesnt push me or tell it directly. He tells me I am pretty after we argue or he sees that I am upset. I told him "do you think I am fat?", he said "no, but you are not slim". We watched the video of Beyonce and Lady Gaga Telephone and I said > I like Beyonce here, she is so sexy. And he said: I like Lady Gaga, she is so fit. You like Beyonce because you want curves also.
This kind of comments make me explode.
P.S. Thanks for the tips, the sex sucks, because I no longer find him sexy because of the comments he makes on body image and he obviously doesnt find me attractive also. He says "I have a lot of work now, we could fix it", I say "No problem, you mean a lot for me, I could wait" but the time doesnt help.0 -
It's your body, so you get to decide what you want it to look like. 145 is definitely a healthy weight for a person your height. Maybe you simply want to work on muscle definition/toning rather than weight loss? Whatever you decide, do it for YOU, not for anybody else.
Some people (I don't want to say guys here, because I know it's not just guys) will nitpick no matter what. Be very careful around people like this, because after awhile, they can really wear down your sense of self-worth. You feel like you're always trying to please them. Say you get back down to the weight you once were, then what will he want you to do?
Do what's best for you, physically and emotionally--always. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It took me way too long to learn this!0 -
A BIG thanks to all of you, who answered me! I appreciate every answer!
Now a little bit more from me:
I myself want to lose a bit, but just a little bit. I also began taking the pill because of my boyfriend and he told me that since taking it he can't catch my *kitten* with one hand any more, it is getting bigger. Its just not true, because I have always been this size.
He is very nice and always says that I look beautiful and doesnt say ''lose weight'', but he means it indirectly. For example he makes compliments of how slim another woman is or how beautiful and always likes some skinny *****es.
I was once 120 Pounds and looked veeeeery very skinny and he said: ''Why dont you get down again'', ''I like you on this picture, you look very good''. I am not the kind of person who makes something for someone else. But this time I think I got crazy obsessed and now thinking about it I should really stop. Every week at least 2-3 men ask me to go out and tell me I am very beautiful, but not my boyfriend. Also our sex life sucks now. (ughhh, writing this makes me actually see how blind I am/was....)
Anyway... I really want to lose a bit, but he was a big motivation for me.
Thank you all, all my depression comes from the pressure I feel to live with a man that doesnt compliment me enough and that obviously doesnt think I am sexy. ( I was a make up and hair model before, at least my face and hair are beautiful haha, as stupid as it may sound)
All the best,
Mella
You seem like such a sweet person- beautiful inside and out. I think you definitely need to make a change on the relationship front, since it is affecting your mental AND physical health. Good luck to you!0 -
The easiest way for you to lose weight is to kick your jerkface boyfriend to the curb. How he's treating you is NOT okay.0
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Oh honey, I feel for you. I am worried that you don't think enough of yourself to be with a man who will be good to you. He is undermining your confidence and you are allowing him to do it. He has some major issues and I'm absolutely sure you don't wan to be involved with someone so insecure and who preys on your sense of well-being.
There are a lot of good guys out there who will love you for the beautiful person you are INSIDE and who won't judge or demean you. Your weight is fine and deep down you know it, I think. I would explore why you would want to be involved with an abusive, insecure douche. He's not "nice" if he's harping on your looks, comparing you to other women, etc. He's obviously got such low self esteem that he tries to tear you down to make himself feel better.
Get out now and get some therapy so you can learn to like yourself enough to land a guy who is worthy of you!0
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