How to be okay with where you're at? (embarassing pics)
Maleficent0241
Posts: 386 Member
I can't believe I am posting this as such a new member, but I'm hoping someone else out there may understand my troubles and may be able to help me sort myself out.
I had always been thin and fit my entire adult life, until a few years ago. I won't bore you with all of the details, but suffice it to say I got very, VERY sick and ended up on a lot of medications with a very different self image to contend with. It took 8 months total from the time I was discharged from the hospital underweight and malnourished (109 pounds) to reach an all time high of 180 pounds. I hit 186 for a few days due to bloat, so I am counting 180 as my highest. Yep, that's over 2 lbs per week gain. I got off of all my meds, lost 25 pounds, had to go back on, and hit my highest weight AGAIN only this time with much worse body composition. I tried weight watchers, but I continued to gain at the same rate so I dropped my membership after about 6 months with them.
Anyway, enough of the history and onto my issue I am asking about - how do I handle being ME while struggling to lose the weight? I have been to professionals for help - basically I was either told "you're not that heavy so suck it up" or "you look great how you are! You've barely gained anything. No need to be upset." I don't need to be coddled or lied to, and that's what they were doing. To illustrate:
The left is me up until the health struggles - 5'7", 26 inch waist, 20% body fat, size 2 plus or minus depending on the brand. The right two are me now - 35 inch waist and a whopping 43% body fat, and a solid size 12. Yeah, that hurts. I did not appreciate being told that I barely gained anything, because it simply isn't true. I break down in the mirror crying every day because I cannot believe how I got like this. How do I talk myself out of the crying and self loathing? I really don't think it's BDD, as the objective numbers support my opinion. Professional help has been, well, no help.
Anyone here relate? What did you do to help ease the pain while trying to better yourself?
I had always been thin and fit my entire adult life, until a few years ago. I won't bore you with all of the details, but suffice it to say I got very, VERY sick and ended up on a lot of medications with a very different self image to contend with. It took 8 months total from the time I was discharged from the hospital underweight and malnourished (109 pounds) to reach an all time high of 180 pounds. I hit 186 for a few days due to bloat, so I am counting 180 as my highest. Yep, that's over 2 lbs per week gain. I got off of all my meds, lost 25 pounds, had to go back on, and hit my highest weight AGAIN only this time with much worse body composition. I tried weight watchers, but I continued to gain at the same rate so I dropped my membership after about 6 months with them.
Anyway, enough of the history and onto my issue I am asking about - how do I handle being ME while struggling to lose the weight? I have been to professionals for help - basically I was either told "you're not that heavy so suck it up" or "you look great how you are! You've barely gained anything. No need to be upset." I don't need to be coddled or lied to, and that's what they were doing. To illustrate:
The left is me up until the health struggles - 5'7", 26 inch waist, 20% body fat, size 2 plus or minus depending on the brand. The right two are me now - 35 inch waist and a whopping 43% body fat, and a solid size 12. Yeah, that hurts. I did not appreciate being told that I barely gained anything, because it simply isn't true. I break down in the mirror crying every day because I cannot believe how I got like this. How do I talk myself out of the crying and self loathing? I really don't think it's BDD, as the objective numbers support my opinion. Professional help has been, well, no help.
Anyone here relate? What did you do to help ease the pain while trying to better yourself?
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Replies
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I have never been quite as thin (except when I was 12) as you were and it took a little longer for me to gain for a total weight of 160. I look about what you do now. I don't cry about how I look, in fact I went on vacation last week and proudly wore a bikini. Am I happy with how I look? No, but I know I am making changes to get fitter and skinnier.
I think the key is patience, I do not think you will be able to lose as fast as you gained especially with being on medication.
You are allowed to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and be unhappy with how much you have gained. Use that with motivation to log your food and exercise. Tell yourself that you will change.
Various studies have shown that positive thinking works, instead of being dejected by what you look like now, try to think positive thoughts when looking in the mirror. Even if its as simple as "I like my hair today", or "oh look that zit is gone", lol
Or cover the mirror since it causes you such stress. You should not be crying over the image in the mirror. Also realize that you had a medical issue that caused you to gain the weight that you did. It was not necessarily something you did, but like any health condition like a rash, it will take a prescription and a plan of action to help heal.
Also keep trying to find professional help, you will find someone that is able to help you and give you advice you need in a way that reaches you..0 -
The reality is that you are where you are now. You have to try not to beat yourself up thinking about where you once were. It sounds like you overcame some huge things, and that had to have been very hard. And now you have a new challenge in front of you.
If you hold onto where you once were as your guide post, it is going to be a lot harder. Make that your goal instead. Take this, where you are now, as your new starting point. If you see where you are now as the beginning, you can celebrate the small steps on your way to a healthier you. Celebrate every milestone, if it's a small weight loss, an achievement in the gym that you weren't able to do the week before, a new clothing size, or anything else that helps you feel success.
It's a long, slow road, but it will be worth it.0 -
You have gained. It's not BDD. There you go. Honesty.
Realize that your health struggles gave you little to no control over this, take it as a side effect. Getting sick sucks.
You can do something about it, so think of this as a transitional phase of your life. This is where you're at NOW, not WHO you are, or something you have to settle for.
I don't know what medication you're on, but i'm assuming it makes weight loss harder? That means you have to work harder. Log consistently and accurately. Get a food scale. Weigh and measure everything. Don't go the starving route. Do it right.
Work on you body composition. That means resistance training. Get a gym membership, and start a program like Stronglifts or Starting Strength.
You'll have to work hard, but it's doable.0 -
I think it's okay to NOT be okay with where you're at. That's how many of us end up here. That's not to say you should hate yourself (or cry in the mirror everyday), but you have to have some.sort of epiphany to want to change. So, you're here now. You want to change. Do you have a sustainable nutrition and exercise plan?
If not, make one. Stick with it. Rinse and repeat. You'll be happy with where you are eventually. We're works in progress.0 -
Disclaimer: I come from a much different place initially. With rare exception I grew up a heavy kid, in a family of couch potatoes.
That being said, I had to learn to cherish my body regardless of its shape and size. About 35 years ago I forced myself to stand naked in front of a full-length mirror and really look at myself -- not to criticize (heaven knows, I'd gotten enough of that), but to love. No Matter What. Every Single Day. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but it was also one of the best things I'd ever done.
It meant that when I was again at my heaviest in a life of yo-yo weight shifts (a pattern I am currently working to end), I could again look in the mirror and still love every bit of me, while recognizing that I needed to lose weight for my own health. The leftmost shot in my ticker shows me at 9.5 pounds under my heaviest weight this time around.
Self-love is the foundation. You've been thrown a curve ball, which is not to be minimized, either. You're doing the work to get back on a track off which you've been pushed. But it's also true that every single day is a gift. Being able to do the work is also a gift. Having the stamina, having functional limbs -- you get the picture. You can do this, and you are doing it.
If you are grieving, let yourself grieve, but then keep fighting the good fight. Your body is your home and your ally.0 -
Buy clothes that fit you nicely where you are now. Do not try to copy what you were wearing at your lowest in large sizes, get clothes that suit the body you have now. You are definitely within normal range, you have good proportions, this should be fairly easy. It will make you feel and look much better and more confident. Stop obsessing about looking yourself at the mirror or getting on the scales. Focus on doing things for yourself that make you feel good. You are still the same person.0
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Thank you all for your responses. I in no way mean to demean anyone who is at my weight or higher. It's just hard FOR ME to cope with the new self image, since I had always been at a healthy weight and in very little time gained a lot. It's like I see myself and don't recognize who I am anymore. At one point, the gain was so fast that the skin on my thighs and lower stomach started splitting and bleeding, so it has been physically painful too.
Hauntinglyfit - yep, the meds add a LOT to this equation. I always weigh and measure, and had been throughout all the gain - it's part of what made it so upsetting as I was eating about 1/3-1/2 of what I used to and STILL gaining. In the very beginning, I was eating anywhere from 500-1200 calories per day with most days below 1000 (not intentionally so low, just couldn't eat due to the illness), and once my weight started rebounding up, I couldn't understand what was going on and people didn't believe me that I was eating so little and gaining on it. The ONLY time I have been successful budging the weight has been when I stopped taking meds. I am working with my team now to find another med-free solution since the weight is now screwing with my blood numbers and it's not just a vanity issue.
I've been weight training in the gym for a few months now, but was doing mostly machines on my own as I haven't done any serious weightlifting outside of work in many years. I spent some time researching, and decided to go with Stronglifts and did my first day today. It's good advice and I'm hoping working through a routine from someone who, you know, KNOWS what they are doing will yield me some better results
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Just want to say good luck, and I hope everything works out that you can get to a happy place.0
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It really is hard to go from thin to heavier and back and forth a couple pounds.
When this happened to me, (10 lbs at that time) I was so self conscious and freaked out, but my family/friends would just say, 'how does it matter, you're still thin?'. But it isn't even really about the gain, more about losing control, allowing the bad habits causing the gain, and the serious fear of gaining ALL my weight back.
It's so hard.
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Hey,
I know how screamingly frustrating it is to gain on medications. I occasionally need to go on prednisone to manage some health issues. Usually it's a minimum 10 pound gain overnight and it always takes me a long time to lose. Also, it's not a pretty gain, either. Personally, I get upset because I worry that other people think poorly of me because of the gain. This is slightly nuts because I honestly don't think most people really have an opinion about an extra 10-15 pounds on my frame or care how I eat, and there is really no reason for me to care what they think anyway.
Exercise does improve how I feel about my body, even if it doesn't impact the scale. Also, it helps me to focus on other aspects of myself - trying to master a hobby, helping other people, or just doing something that fosters positive emotions, even if it's reading a book or watching a show.
You might try a few different diets and see what's most effective for you as well, but I find I have to count calories on top of what ever plan I use. I can get by on fewer calories without being hungry on low carb. You might experiment with that if you are on a med that has metabolic side effects and puts you at risk for T2D.
Anyway,
Best of luck and congrats on your recovery from your illness.0 -
What might help is understanding that HOW you are now does not define WHO you are or how you will be a year or two from now. But that hate and loathing will make it more difficult to get where you want to be, it may be a barrier to change because depression or whatever negative load just zaps the will to do what is necessary. At any weight, you are still you. That might seem like soupy soup but think about how attitude kills or build drive.
Stronglifts is a great program but the magic comes from consistency. Do it, do it by the rules, work hard, work consistently and it will be transformational.0 -
I'm trying to understand why someone would censor half the pictures. My over-thinking brain tells me the person on the left isn't you. Dont really matter though. But, it did sidetrack me from giving any type of useful response. meh.0
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I can relate to your story quite a bit. I'm actually surfing the Motivation and Support forum while waiting for responses to my topic with a similar story (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1204529-illness-made-me-gain-it-back-motivation-long)
Long story short, I managed to lose most of my weight last year, then illness struck and I gained pretty much off of said lost weight back. I truly understand how disappointing it is to see where you were and what you are now. It's hard to not define yourself by it. It feels like a "failure." I know because I'm right there with you.
Hopefully we can both look past the "failure" and see the new challenge ahead of us. A different story; a new journey. Something that will mold us and shape us into a new person, and not just physically.0 -
It can be really tough feeling like your body has failed you. At least that's how I feel sometimes. I think Hauntinglyfit gave some great advice. Lifting has helped me tremendously with chronic illness. There's something truly empowering about it. It will help you focus on what your body can DO rather than just what it looks like.
I understand not wanting to see another therapist after those experiences, but maybe consider seeing someone else. I know my doctor's nurse is really good at recommending doctors who fit what a particular patient needs. Is there someone like that who could help you find someone better?0 -
What might help is understanding that HOW you are now does not define WHO you are or how you will be a year or two from now. But that hate and loathing will make it more difficult to get where you want to be, it may be a barrier to change because depression or whatever negative load just zaps the will to do what is necessary. At any weight, you are still you. That might seem like soupy soup but think about how attitude kills or build drive.
Stronglifts is a great program but the magic comes from consistency. Do it, do it by the rules, work hard, work consistently and it will be transformational.
Please take this to heart. I am always amazed at your insight E. Your daughters are lucky X100!0 -
I think it would help to volunteer at a hospice or go to a third world country and volunteer in a place where people would be overjoyed to swap "problems" with you.
I totally get that you find it unpleasant to be overweight after having been so thin but to me it's like having a bad hair cut and thinking it's the end of the world, just like hair would grow, weight comes off.
I don't think it's a big problem so my suggestion is to find a way for you to see that it's not a big problem.
The one thing I do regret about my holiday in France is that I was so busy being upset about being a bit fat, I didn't enjoy the vacation. Wish I had just had fun and had trusted that the weight would come off. It spoilt the vacation for my husband and shortly after my dog died, if only I had treasured that time, enjoyed my amazing life and known the weight would come off.
There is no point being miserable, you are a healthy young woman, your friends are right, you're not that big.
Just trust the weight will come off, love your life, love yourself right here and now, you look good. Wear clothes you feel nice in and get the weight off in a healthy way.
Hope this is read in the loving and kind spirit in which it was written.0 -
bump0
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I can't believe I am posting this as such a new member, but I'm hoping someone else out there may understand my troubles and may be able to help me sort myself out.
I had always been thin and fit my entire adult life, until a few years ago. I won't bore you with all of the details, but suffice it to say I got very, VERY sick and ended up on a lot of medications with a very different self image to contend with. It took 8 months total from the time I was discharged from the hospital underweight and malnourished (109 pounds) to reach an all time high of 180 pounds. I hit 186 for a few days due to bloat, so I am counting 180 as my highest. Yep, that's over 2 lbs per week gain. I got off of all my meds, lost 25 pounds, had to go back on, and hit my highest weight AGAIN only this time with much worse body composition. I tried weight watchers, but I continued to gain at the same rate so I dropped my membership after about 6 months with them.
Anyway, enough of the history and onto my issue I am asking about - how do I handle being ME while struggling to lose the weight? I have been to professionals for help - basically I was either told "you're not that heavy so suck it up" or "you look great how you are! You've barely gained anything. No need to be upset." I don't need to be coddled or lied to, and that's what they were doing. To illustrate:
The left is me up until the health struggles - 5'7", 26 inch waist, 20% body fat, size 2 plus or minus depending on the brand. The right two are me now - 35 inch waist and a whopping 43% body fat, and a solid size 12. Yeah, that hurts. I did not appreciate being told that I barely gained anything, because it simply isn't true. I break down in the mirror crying every day because I cannot believe how I got like this. How do I talk myself out of the crying and self loathing? I really don't think it's BDD, as the objective numbers support my opinion. Professional help has been, well, no help.
Anyone here relate? What did you do to help ease the pain while trying to better yourself?
Yes! I can relate. I was a rock climber, athlete, mountain biker, etc. I weighed between 120-125. In 2004, I was placed on Zoloft for panic disorder. I started my medicine in May and by December of that same year, I had gained 60 lbs. I went from 125 to 185. It was insane. The doctor I went to told me that medicine will not cause me to gain weight. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone. I was embarrassed and overwhelmed by the amount of weight I had put on and by how quickly I had put it on. I went off the medicine and lost 20 lbs. in a month, but it has been a very difficult battle. I had never struggled with my weight prior to Zoloft. I have struggled a lot since then. It is one thing to lose 5 lbs. and a totally different thing to lose 50 lbs. I have decided that I can't deal with the weight anymore and have made a very diligent, willful goal to lose that weight by the end of summer! You can do it, too!0 -
You have had a traumatic time! ill, on meds, in the hospital, back out again. The first thing I want to say to you is try not to be so hard on yourself. You have been through a lot, and it is going to take time for your to feel good again. It's not something that you should try to brush aside. This has been a big change for you.
I know you said that your Dr/s are working on the meds and that is a big part of your weight gain. I would suggest that you talk to your Dr and see how that change is going, are there new meds you can take instead? support groups in your local area for people on medications/people with your condition? Ask you Dr about the weight gain, what does he /she suggest?
Is it possible that you are eating too little? If you are starving yourself or limiting foods that your body needs, you could be making your problem worse even though you are eating less
HUGS.0 -
In the end calories in vs calories out still holds out - so generally medicines that cause you to gain weight are generally slowing the metabolism down one way or another.
So part of it maybe that you need to reduce the food you consume when on the medication.
There are loads of success stories on here - maybe see if you can find some from people who have had similar issues and see if you can do what they did?0 -
I can't recommend a therapist enough. I feel like a broken record a bit sometimes recommending it so often, but our perception and our behaviors are rooted completely in our brain; if you got a doctor to fix something wrong with your body, why wouldn't you go to a professional to help you fix things off with your mind?
If by "professionals" you cited, you mean therapists: find a new one. Look around until you find one that helps you deal with the mindset you've developed. Being told, "You don't need to worry! You're fine!" sounds like a non-psychiatric doctor speaking, however, so I'm assuming you haven't gone the mental health professional route yet.
I feel you. Completely. I gained weight very quickly (your "2lb a week" struck a note with me when I was bloating up, almost completely in my stomach, back, and face, at a rate of 5lb a week for a short period of time with medications and recovery from some endocrine issues), and once I was given the "okay" to diet and exercise again, I jumped in immediately, wondering what to do with myself in the meantime. Unfortunately, I didn't start going back to therapy until far along this process; I had over a year's worth of your experiences. Crying in front of the mirror. Self-mutilation because I was so disgusted. And regret at how I had treated my body before my health crisis.
So find a therapist our counselor who meshes with you well. Who won't say, "No, you're fine!" and instead will ask you, "Why do you feel this way?" to help figure out how to get you to cope with your self-perception while you try to lose weight (in a healthy manner!).0 -
I think it would help to volunteer at a hospice or go to a third world country and volunteer in a place where people would be overjoyed to swap "problems" with you.
I totally get that you find it unpleasant to be overweight after having been so thin but to me it's like having a bad hair cut and thinking it's the end of the world, just like hair would grow, weight comes off.
I don't think it's a big problem so my suggestion is to find a way for you to see that it's not a big problem.
The one thing I do regret about my holiday in France is that I was so busy being upset about being a bit fat, I didn't enjoy the vacation. Wish I had just had fun and had trusted that the weight would come off. It spoilt the vacation for my husband and shortly after my dog died, if only I had treasured that time, enjoyed my amazing life and known the weight would come off.
There is no point being miserable, you are a healthy young woman, your friends are right, you're not that big.
Just trust the weight will come off, love your life, love yourself right here and now, you look good. Wear clothes you feel nice in and get the weight off in a healthy way.
Hope this is read in the loving and kind spirit in which it was written.
I hate this mindset. Hatehatehatehate.
Comparing one's self to say, third world problems or someone's terminal cancer, can help *some* people feel better. But if there's a condition at play beyond just general self-pity (say, BDD, or clinical depression, etc. etc.), that's just an incredibly dismissive thing to say.
If something is uncomfortable or life-changing to OP, then it is. I'd also argue that a bad haircut is probably a poor analogy for "on a stream of intense medications that essentially strip my control over my body."
I'm sure you mean well, but OP, it's okay to feel the things you are. Putting guilt on someone for feeling bad is probably the least productive way of dealing with any sort of mental issue, ever. Yet somehow it still persists, "Ah, you're depressed? Well at least you don't live in a third world shanty town! What's wrong with you?"
OP, again; I recommend finding a mental health professional that fits well with you. It may take a few sessions to figure out if you click with someone, but it's very, very worth it to keep trying.0 -
I was an athlete all through my high school years (track and field) so I was in great shape, and a size 2-4 for most of that time.
In college and grad school, I put on 100 lbs, but unlike you, it was entirely my own fault and it came on over about 6 years. My body didn't do this to me. I wasn't sick, but a lot of why I overate was due to major depression. I'm not blaming the condition really, but it was a contributing factor.
Once I got treatment for the underlying problem, my weight started falling off. I was happy about this, but it also made me feel horrible about myself. How could I have let myself go THAT badly? I did irreparable damage to myself. I still sometimes struggle with the guilt and the embarrassment of it all.
I can tell you, from personal experience, that focusing on your past will make it much much harder to move forward. I compared myself to my fit lean just-out-of-high-school body for a long long time, and I always felt like a failure no matter how much progress I made.
What worked for me is looking forward. Instead of comparing who I was to who I am now, I'm working to improve the person I am now and though I may never look like I did before, I can be a healthier size, have a healthier relationship with food, and be more fit than I am now, and that's what I'm striving for.
What you're experiencing here is powerful and can be overwhelming emotionally. Don't discount it or let anyone tell you that these feelings are trivial. They are not, but do try to see if you can focus on some goals you'd like to achieve in the future. Give yourself something to look forward to not back at.0 -
You look better on the right (In my opinion) You got a donk. Lol I bet most men would prefer it as well. And to be honest, you don't look happy on the left either. You have to love yourself. There is no other answer. Love love love. Love yourself girl, or nobody will. I hope you can find self-love. When your mind is healthy, your body will follow suit. xoxo0
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I'm trying to understand why someone would censor half the pictures. My over-thinking brain tells me the person on the left isn't you. Dont really matter though. But, it did sidetrack me from giving any type of useful response. meh.
I don't want to be rude, but I had to reply to this specifically. The pictures on the right aren't censored, and the picture on the left is indeed me. I had no one home to help me take the new pictures and setting the camera on the table cut off my head. I know I am just a random internet person, so I can understand the the skepticism, but it is me.
Thanks to everyone else for your responses. Interesting to hear from others with med problems too. Prednisone was one in the cocktail. I'm glad I'm not on that one anymore, I always felt like a raging b*** on it!
Maybe I should try another therapist. The previous ones were of no help at all, but maybe getting a referral from the endocrinologist or something might lead me in a better direction. I looked up the last one (I know, should have done it prior to seeing him), and his specialty had nothing to do with my issue.0 -
I don't have any really helpful advice for you because I am big and have always been big. But I just know how some people (doctors, friends, etc) can be when you're at a weight that is considered healthy or just slightly overweight. I've seen friends go through that and I can only imagine how frustrating it must be. I'd imagine for you that feels like I would feel if I regained the 67 lb I've lost in the past year...I'd be horrified.
Hang in there and you will get back where you want to be!0 -
I'm trying to understand why someone would censor half the pictures. My over-thinking brain tells me the person on the left isn't you. Dont really matter though. But, it did sidetrack me from giving any type of useful response. meh.
I don't want to be rude, but I had to reply to this specifically. The pictures on the right aren't censored, and the picture on the left is indeed me. I had no one home to help me take the new pictures and setting the camera on the table cut off my head. I know I am just a random internet person, so I can understand the the skepticism, but it is me.
Thanks to everyone else for your responses. Interesting to hear from others with med problems too. Prednisone was one in the cocktail. I'm glad I'm not on that one anymore, I always felt like a raging b*** on it!
Maybe I should try another therapist. The previous ones were of no help at all, but maybe getting a referral from the endocrinologist or something might lead me in a better direction. I looked up the last one (I know, should have done it prior to seeing him), and his specialty had nothing to do with my issue.
I wondered if Prednisone might be in the mix.
It's a double edged sword for sure. I'm also glad I don't need it anymore. Good riddance!
I hope you find a more helpful therapist. :flowerforyou:0 -
I think it would help to volunteer at a hospice or go to a third world country and volunteer in a place where people would be overjoyed to swap "problems" with you.
I totally get that you find it unpleasant to be overweight after having been so thin but to me it's like having a bad hair cut and thinking it's the end of the world, just like hair would grow, weight comes off.
I don't think it's a big problem so my suggestion is to find a way for you to see that it's not a big problem.
The one thing I do regret about my holiday in France is that I was so busy being upset about being a bit fat, I didn't enjoy the vacation. Wish I had just had fun and had trusted that the weight would come off. It spoilt the vacation for my husband and shortly after my dog died, if only I had treasured that time, enjoyed my amazing life and known the weight would come off.
There is no point being miserable, you are a healthy young woman, your friends are right, you're not that big.
Just trust the weight will come off, love your life, love yourself right here and now, you look good. Wear clothes you feel nice in and get the weight off in a healthy way.
Hope this is read in the loving and kind spirit in which it was written.
I hate this mindset. Hatehatehatehate.
Comparing one's self to say, third world problems or someone's terminal cancer, can help *some* people feel better. But if there's a condition at play beyond just general self-pity (say, BDD, or clinical depression, etc. etc.), that's just an incredibly dismissive thing to say.
If something is uncomfortable or life-changing to OP, then it is. I'd also argue that a bad haircut is probably a poor analogy for "on a stream of intense medications that essentially strip my control over my body."
I'm sure you mean well, but OP, it's okay to feel the things you are. Putting guilt on someone for feeling bad is probably the least productive way of dealing with any sort of mental issue, ever. Yet somehow it still persists, "Ah, you're depressed? Well at least you don't live in a third world shanty town! What's wrong with you?"
OP, again; I recommend finding a mental health professional that fits well with you. It may take a few sessions to figure out if you click with someone, but it's very, very worth it to keep trying.
I completely agree.
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I can COMPLETELY relate, like 100%. I used to be stick thin, had abs, was healthy etc. I moved to university and ended up getting a really bad stomach illness, I could barely eat but ballooned up about 50-60 pounds in year, which made me go from about 120 at 5'8, to 185 at 5'8. I went to dr's numerous times before they realized there was something seriously wrong with me and I got the meds I needed. By that time my self-esteem was shot, I couldn't look in a mirror without bursting into tears.
Since then I've lost weight, only to gain it back AGAIN due to a separate medical issue, and am now about 1/2 way to where i want to be, it is a grueling frustrating proces which I don't wish upon anybody. But as far as just being okay with where your at, you've got to be okay with YOU, not your body, it's just a shell that contains you!
Feel free to add me!0 -
I can totally relate! I never ever worried about my weight and then my 30's hit and it slowly started creeping up on me and BAM there it was on day IN MY FACE! My 5'6 157 lbs self so misses my 130 -135 self but I'll settle for the 145-45 me!0
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