Intimidated

grace914
grace914 Posts: 139 Member
edited September 22 in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone else feel this way in an exercise class? I decided to take classes at the local park district. I recently started spin, zumba, and med/high impact step classes. OMG! They all kick my butt! But, during the class I just want to cry. I’m always the fattest girl there. Yesterday, there were only 5 of us and instead of being proud that I was actually doing something, I was tearing up because I’m so out of shape. I’m always the last one to complete the run or lunges so the others have to wait for me. I feel like I’m letting down the instructor and others. I also feel like the others are staring at me thinking “what the hell is she doing here”.
I just became a member on MFP and I needed to vent to people who are struggling with losing weight. Does anyone have any advice or motivation….or maybe just tell me to snap out of it :wink:

Replies

  • sarahliftsUP
    sarahliftsUP Posts: 752 Member
    You have to start out somewhere.

    I wanted to run so I started C25K. I started on the treadmill, running for just 60 sec or 90 sec at a time. I felt like the people on the treadmill who could go 6mph effortlessly for 30 minutes straight were judging me. It's all in our heads though. Just concentrate on getting better and keeping at it. You can't just expect to be good at everything right off, you have to ease your way into it and you will eventually find it easier. The key point is to not care and to finish, regardless if you are last or first.
  • cobygrey
    cobygrey Posts: 270 Member
    Let them stare, and let them think. You can't let YOURSELF DOWN don't let VANITY OR PRIDE cause you to stop. Stay in the class until you aren't the last to lunge or run. You have to do this for you.
  • iampam654
    iampam654 Posts: 28
    Instead of being intimidated by these people, you should try to be inspired. Those people had to work to get in shape as well, it didn't just come to them overnight. Continue attending these classes and before you know it you will be in shape and able to keep up with the instructor, and then YOU can be an inspiration for a new out-of-shape student
  • sallyLunn
    sallyLunn Posts: 381
    They aren't thinking "what is she doing here" they are thinking, "good for her". Be proud that you are doing these classes. Be proud of every single lunge that you complete, even if it takes you a little longer. You will get faster and stronger and healthy.

    I don't even know you and I'm proud of you for taking control.
  • ShellyKay67
    ShellyKay67 Posts: 489 Member
    someone once told me that others are not nearly as concerned about us as we think!
    don't worry about them....this is for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    soon, you will notice much improvement if you stick with it and will gain more confidence each time you do it and accomplish it!
    keep it up!! : )
  • smuehlbauer
    smuehlbauer Posts: 1,041 Member
    Get over it.
    Realize that it's your work out too, not just the other peoples in class.
    You'll get faster, stronger.
    Just stick with it.
  • ashlee954
    ashlee954 Posts: 1,112 Member
    Your instructors and other people doing the classes with you would be miserable pieces of you know what if they didn't look at you and think "Wow, good for her. What an inspiration to see someone wanting to make such a life style change to better her health and life altogether." You should be very proud of yourself. You could feel embarrassed and decide not to go anymore because of that but I know you won't! You are going to hold your head up high, walk into the gym, workout class, or whatever, and work your butt off to be the person you want to be!!! There is no easy way to the top sweetie. It takes dedication and courage to buckle down and do something for YOU. This isn't about anyone else. Just you!!!
  • Pril2000
    Pril2000 Posts: 254 Member
    Don't ever feel that way. Fitness instructors become instructors because they want to help people succeed in reaching their fitness goals. Your instructors aren't put out by you. I bet they're proud of you for putting in the effort and sticking to it. They know how hard it is because they see people every day who give up and never come back. The fact that you're facing your fears and showing up and putting in the work is just a testament to how dedicated you are. All those skinny girls that never break a sweat aren't nearly as motivated or determined as you are. The only way to really know how it feels to want something that bad is to be where you are and doing what you're doing.

    Keep going and in a month or two you might not be the last one finishing. I'm near the end of my weight loss journey and I still have trouble with running, so don't feel bad about that stuff. :-)

    Good luck!!!! We're all here to support you!
  • SlimLittleMrs
    SlimLittleMrs Posts: 127
    I really do believe that you should feel so proud of yourself, and everyone has to start somewhere - each any everyone of those people in the class had to start somewhere and you are all there for the same reason. I know when I go to a class I am always so inspired by anyone who is there just trying to do their best.

    You just keep up the good work, someday you will be the slimmest and feeling proud of everyone who can't quite keep up to you!!
  • Pandemonium
    Pandemonium Posts: 63
    I have never taken any classes however, I have been to numerous gyms, and I have always been the heavier girl in the room.

    I do feel embarrassed about being out of shape, but I have to keep reminding myself that it takes time to get to the level most are in. For me, I have had a weight issue all my life, and some of those people could have been fortunate enough to not have to deal with what I am dealing with.

    All in all, I know I am doing it for myself, and don't ever think about how the others feel.

    In time you will be faster and stronger, and smaller, so don't give up. Don't let these feelings stop you from meeting your goals.
  • StPattysGrl
    StPattysGrl Posts: 74
    I can tell you as a regular participant of group fitness classes (including all the ones you mentioned). I hardly pay attention to any of the new people or people who may be more out of shape. I'm concentrating so hard on myself to work as hard as I can that the other people don't even cross my mind.

    Don't pysche yourself out. I'm sure the others aren't even paying attention to you!

    Keep up the good work!
  • Egger29
    Egger29 Posts: 14,741 Member
    Hi Grace,

    The only person you are in competition with is yourself. Congrats on starting something and putting in your best effort. We can't do any more than our best so we make our ultimate goal to try and be better with every day,

    Who's to say that all the other people in the class didn't start off in your same position a while back? I would say there would be several like that. You're not alone by any means.

    When I started Martial arts years ago, I was in the back of the class following along with people who've done things for years already. There was no shame in not being able to do as much as others, only in not trying and giving up on yourself. I used that to push myself to practice, train hard, and learn everything that was taught me.

    Years later, after moving to a new town, I returned to my original class as the senior belt in the class and suddenly I was leading the class instead of being the follower.

    Keep going with it. You won't always be the last. Eventually, there will be someone looking up to you and all you've accomplished and you'll be there to help them achieve the same goals.

    All the best to you!
  • bri1720
    bri1720 Posts: 254 Member
    I know the changes you have made in the time that I have known you and you should be extremely proud of yourself. You have even run a 5K....I can't even do that yet!!! When I saw that you had accomplished that, YOU motivated ME. Stay focused on this and who gives a damn what the others think in your class. Keep pushing until the day comes where you are waiting on them to finish!!!! Or you can always have your friend DeSant come in and se thtem all straight :mad:
  • ironmule2042
    ironmule2042 Posts: 103
    You need to give yourself more credit for just having the courage to go to the gym. Even after losing the weight I have and feeling more confident in my appearance I can't get myself to go... You're one step ahead of me. Be proud.
  • msemejuru
    msemejuru Posts: 229
    Years ago I noticed I was the "chubbiest" girl in my step class. It took a few weeks for me to realize that I didn't miss a step and was keeping up! Be proud of yourself for being out there and getting started. That's wonderful! It takes a lot more courage for you to get to class than for the little fit folks in their Lycra. Keep in mind that the gym is kinda like the high school cafeteria, folks are too concerned with how they look to notice how you look.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Whenever you decide to work out in a group setting, whether it's an exercise class or just going to a gym and being surrounded by other people, you're going to have to deal with some of those other people scoping out everyone else, comparing themselves, making judgments, etc. It comes with the territory. It's not you. It's just the way it is.

    What you have to remember is that the joke is on them. They're way more concerned about what everyone else is doing than what they're doing themselves, and that means they're going to fail. If you block them out and focus on what YOU have to do to achieve YOUR goals, you're going to succeed, and nothing else matters.

    I prefer working out alone so I have no distractions and no excuses. But it's not for everyone. If you feel like you need the group setting for structure or motivation, that's fine, too. You just have to develop a laser-like focus on the exercise and forget about everyone else.
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    Keep at it! I think when we are out of shape that's the first thing we think is...."oh my god they are looking at me because I am fat".
    I did that when I first started taking zumba classes. I would even do that when I went to the grocery store. I thought everyone was looking in my cart to see what I was eating because I was overweight. The truth is....most of the time people aren't paying as much attention to us as we think they are.

    When I started zumba back in Feb. I was one of the biggest ladies in the class. I almost gave up after the first class.
    But I didn't. I kept going and have been going 2-3x a week since then. I now help co-teach the class along with our instructor. And she is helping me to get aerobics and zumba certified because I love it so much. When we have new people come in to the class for the first time I always make sure to introduce myself and make them feel welcome and comfortable. A lot of times they are surprised to hear my back story and find out that I have lost 65 lbs recently. They assume I have been fit all my life....and that is soooo not true! LOL

    So my advice is.....don't worry about what you look like...or if you are slowing everyone else down. The rest of the class can get over it. You are doing something good for yourself! You will be caught up to them in no time.....or even passing them up! :wink:
    Have confidence in yourself. Carrying yourself with confidence does a lot for the way people look at you no matter what your size.
    Good Luck and I believe in you!

    Dani :flowerforyou:
  • Caperfae
    Caperfae Posts: 433
    Kudos to you for doing it and you are doing great so stick with it.
    I am way to shy to step out of my comfort zone and join a class so I admire you for getting out there.
  • Dan54
    Dan54 Posts: 15
    Just about every one lets themselves get out of shape. It happens. The thing is, you're doing something about it. You will get back in shape as long as you keep working at it. Just focus on your own goals. So what if the others have to wait a bit. You'll have to wait on someone later on too.

    The hardest part of changing yourself is getting the right mindset. Don't let others get into your head and miss with it. Stay focused and learn to shut out the other people in your classes. It may not be easy at first but if you just focus on yourself and what you're doing it will happen. You'll find that if you stay focused and push through to the end that others will see your determination and recognize it for what it is.

    Never give up.
  • Kate_UK
    Kate_UK Posts: 1,299 Member
    Well done for sticking with it! Remember that every one of those people was the newbie at one time or another, and felt just the way you do now. Stick with it and you'll catch them up in no time:flowerforyou:
  • mommyskis
    mommyskis Posts: 277 Member
    When I used to take classes I always felt motivated by seeing people with more weight to lose than me. I never said anything cause I didn't know exactly how to say, "Wow! I think it's awesome that you signed up for this class and are taking control of your weight. Keep going, don't give up!" That might offend some people. Also it was motivating to think if that girl who is heavier than me can do this, then I certainly can't give up. Honestly I just feel proud of the bigger people who are out there doing it.
  • Mamoonie
    Mamoonie Posts: 328
    I've read the whole thread and seen so much encouragement.
    What I miss are some real tips... and I have one... :-)

    If others have to wait for you.... why not make your exercise a little smaller.
    If the others need to wait until you finish running your round, run only half a round, make it shorter.
    If the others need to wait until you finish your lunges, do only 6 instead of 8.

    Cut your part of the exercise a bit off, then you finish with the others, you did what you are able to and your fitness will still increase... one day you'll be able to do as much as fast as the others do!

    MM
  • grace914
    grace914 Posts: 139 Member
    Thank you all for your words, recommendations, and support. I hope I do well like you. Take Care :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Does anyone else feel this way in an exercise class? I decided to take classes at the local park district. I recently started spin, zumba, and med/high impact step classes. OMG! They all kick my butt! But, during the class I just want to cry. I’m always the fattest girl there. Yesterday, there were only 5 of us and instead of being proud that I was actually doing something, I was tearing up because I’m so out of shape. I’m always the last one to complete the run or lunges so the others have to wait for me. I feel like I’m letting down the instructor and others. I also feel like the others are staring at me thinking “what the hell is she doing here”.
    I just became a member on MFP and I needed to vent to people who are struggling with losing weight. Does anyone have any advice or motivation….or maybe just tell me to snap out of it :wink:

    Honey we all start somewhere! When I am in a class that I am comfortable in, I move to anothre class!! When I see a newbie I think WOOT!! Look at him/her she is doing so well!!.

    I have a friend who was a body builder, gym instructor, gave classes and trained people. HE said the guys/gals would think YEAH!! I brought a new person in! I cannot WAIT to see what they can do.

    YOU are the most important person in that class. YOU!!!:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • think48
    think48 Posts: 366 Member
    One thing I always tell myself in similar situations is, "Somebody HAS to be last." Meaning, somebody has to be the biggest, just as somone has to be the skinniest. Someone has to finish last, just like someone has to finish first. If they give you dirty looks, just tell them "If it weren't for me, YOU would be in last place." lol. :)

    No, really. Someone HAS to be the biggest. It won't be you forever. One day there will be another person there who is bigger than you and you can give them support.

    Good for you (and everyone) for going to the classes. Way to go. :)
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