boyfriend sabatoge

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cowpoke06
cowpoke06 Posts: 171
in Food and Nutrition
Ugggghhh. I guess this is mostly just a rant. My boyfriend has this complex where he thinks I'm not eating enough so he's always trying to shove more food down my throat...and it's sooooo aggravating!!!!

1500 calories is plenty to eat to loose weight and stay healthy. If you look at my food long I tend to go over a lot (but I don't always log my exercise calories burned either) I plan my day ahead of time on mfp starting with breakfast. I decide what I'm going to eat pretty much before I eat it based on the food I've brought with me to work. Yesturday I knew I was going to have too much of a calorie deficit before my workout to sustain it so I drank a protein shake as part of one of my snacks, with the plan to just eat dinner after my workout. Now I'm doing P90X and my workout yesturday was plyometrics so really its high impact aerobics. My boyfriend is a freakin nazi about drinking protein after every workout to help muscles recover. I'm not trying to bulk up and I don't see cardio as a huge tearer-upper of muscles so I don't drink protein after those workouts...only the actualy lifting work outs. I didn't leave room for extra the calories of a second protein shake. When I tried to tell my boyfriend that I wasn't going to drink one he got mad like I was doing something horrible and not feeding my body. He wasn't mad at me but he's so worked up about worrying that I'm eating enough so I had to drink the extra calories to make him happy.

Does anyone else deal with this?????

Replies

  • Jourdan_Rystrom
    Jourdan_Rystrom Posts: 176 Member
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    OMG my boyfriend DEFINITELY influences me in a negative way!!

    He used to go to the gym all the time and pump iron...when I met him he had huge arms & a sexy chest which was firm when I hugged him.

    NOW...we've been dating for 2 years - he completely stopped his gym membership, the muscle died and turned to TUMMY FLAB, and he eats chocolate cake and apple pies every day! He buys this stuff at the store and brings it home after class (because I sure as hell don't keep it in our house!)

    It really pisses me off because I've been doing so well and he always temps me and asks me to go eat out with him when I just want to lead a HEALTHY lifestyle and I want him to too! For some reason the more I do well, the more jealous he gets and just sits there and is fat. Grr...
  • Jourdan_Rystrom
    Jourdan_Rystrom Posts: 176 Member
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    OMG my boyfriend DEFINITELY influences me in a negative way!!

    He used to go to the gym all the time and pump iron...when I met him he had huge arms & a sexy chest which was firm when I hugged him.

    NOW...we've been dating for 2 years - he completely stopped his gym membership, the muscle died and turned to TUMMY FLAB, and he eats chocolate cake and apple pies every day! He buys this stuff at the store and brings it home after class (because I sure as hell don't keep it in our house!)

    It really pisses me off because I've been doing so well and he always temps me and asks me to go eat out with him when I just want to lead a HEALTHY lifestyle and I want him to too! For some reason the more I do well, the more jealous he gets and just sits there and is fat. Grr...
  • trinitydaks
    trinitydaks Posts: 9
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    Look on the positive side - you have a boyfriend that is supporting you in your endeavor to loose. A lot of women are on their own in this challenge. In the case with him, while you are at work, modify what you eat there, so when you are home, you can consume what he asks you too... and you won't be over or frustrated...

    I have the beachbody series stuff too... I haven't tried the P90x, but we have the first P90, Slim in six, and Turbo Jam.

    Good Luck and keep it up.
  • gillian_gail
    gillian_gail Posts: 66
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    I sort of deal with the same situation. My boyfriend thinks I eat too much some of the time (because he just doesn't understand that when you're as overweight as I am, you need a little more with a larger deficit from exercise) and then other times he's complains I don't eat enough. He just never seems to be sure what he should be worrying about. He's only doing it because he's worried about me. And I'm sure your boyfriend has the same reason. I know it's really frustrating to have someone constantly looking over your shoulder in this process. The only thing I can suggest is, talk to him about it. Explain things the same way you did in the post. That's why I have to do when my boyfriend starts worrying. I'm trying to get him to sit down and look at the site with me, so he can understand exactly what it is that I'm doing. That might help you guys out too. Hope it gets resolved. And don't get too upset with him, he's just doing it because he loves you and wants the best for you :-)

    -Gillian
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Is 1500 cals a day actually enough while committing to P90X workouts? Just from reading what others have for their daily cals when doing the workout it seems pretty low when you figure how hard you're working. Perhaps that's what he's concerned about, you working a hard program and not feeding back your body?

    Sounds like He simply cares that you're getting the proper nutrition for your body.:flowerforyou:
  • Rjperron
    Rjperron Posts: 150
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    I had a hard time telling my boyfriend that I was trying to lose a little weight, because I was afraid that he would accuse me of being obsessive/crazy. Finally I did mention it to him one night as he was trying to cook dinner, and after telling me that I was crazy (no surprise) I explained that I just wanted to get healthy and a little more fit, and made a joke about how he'd appreciate the results.

    Since then, he's been intensely supportive, and has even showed interest in getting back to the gym himself. I think if you explain your reasons and be positive, guys tend to get it a little more.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Look on the positive side - you have a boyfriend that is supporting you in your endeavor to loose. A lot of women are on their own in this challenge. In the case with him, while you are at work, modify what you eat there, so when you are home, you can consume what he asks you too... and you won't be over or frustrated...

    I have the beachbody series stuff too... I haven't tried the P90x, but we have the first P90, Slim in six, and Turbo Jam.

    Good Luck and keep it up.
    Definitely! So often there are threads where it's shared someone has no support except negatively or simply none at all. To me (and this is simply my take on what you've shared) it sounds like He is *very* supportive in that he's concerned you're not getting in enough nutrients.
  • cowpoke06
    cowpoke06 Posts: 171
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    I'm definitely not upset with him, his heart is in the right place :) I'm just going to adjust what I'm eating during the day so that when I'm with him after work I still have enough room to eat with him and drink the protein without going over. It is great that I have him to go on this journey with so that's what I should be focusing on. Ever notice how we're so worried about focusing on the "bad" that we forget the good? You're right, a lot of people don't have that so I am lucky...still a little frustrating sometimes though ;)
  • SLambertAlaska
    SLambertAlaska Posts: 197 Member
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    It doesn't really sound like he's supporting you. Sounds more to me as though he's dealing with his own problem of quitting the gym and turning to flab by trying to help you do the same. He's a grown up and needs to make his own choices, but if it seems right to you, after explaining what you're doing you could consider inviting him to join you in the endeavor. Then he would truly be supporting you and doing something good for himself. You're a grown up too - so don't let someone else decide what you eat. Stick to your guns. This isn't just about food and exercise. How is it going to be when he thinks you're spending too much/ too little money? Too much / too little time on any one topic? Will he decide what job you should get too? Be the decider for yourself!

    Good luck!
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    I am the exact opposite...I sabotage my boyfriends!! I dont know whats wrong with me! hahaha :)

    "Here honey, I know you just ate lunch, but I made you another sandwhich for a snack, and here is a beer. I am going to go to the gym. No, No, you dont have to go with me, you just stay home and watch football. Ill make you lasagna when I get home.You know, your favorite kind with the extra cheese and meat. "

    EVIL :devil:

    hehehe :laugh:
  • Charlie001
    Charlie001 Posts: 354
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    OMG my boyfriend DEFINITELY influences me in a negative way!!

    He used to go to the gym all the time and pump iron...when I met him he had huge arms & a sexy chest which was firm when I hugged him.

    NOW...we've been dating for 2 years - he completely stopped his gym membership, the muscle died and turned to TUMMY FLAB, and he eats chocolate cake and apple pies every day! He buys this stuff at the store and brings it home after class (because I sure as hell don't keep it in our house!)

    It really pisses me off because I've been doing so well and he always temps me and asks me to go eat out with him when I just want to lead a HEALTHY lifestyle and I want him to too! For some reason the more I do well, the more jealous he gets and just sits there and is fat. Grr...

    That was totally me. The problem is, and please do not get offended, he either decided to put all his energy into you, which I have done for the ladies in the past, or he is very comfortable in his position with you. Make him sweat a bit. All he needs is a kick in the *kitten* and someone "Not YOU" to tell hime he was great once and can be again. Worked for me.
  • SassyStef
    SassyStef Posts: 413
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    I guess I have a totally different opinion. I dont think that boyfriends or hubbys should be forcing anyone to eat this or that just because they are worried you are not getting enough calories. Supportive, yes..concerned, sure but making you drink or eat something isnt right. Men's bodies are different than womens and if we try and eat like they do we end up not loosing.
    It sounds a little bit controlling to me.
    Of course we should all be thankful and grateful to have supportive plp in our live but the part of being supportive is standing by and supporting not forcing someone to do something.
    If it were me I would tell you boyfriend to please back off a little and let me do it my way and if that doesnt work then I would love some suggestions from him.

    I hope this doesnt offend any one, just dont like it when I hear someone is making another person do something they dont want to do.
    :flowerforyou:
  • cowpoke06
    cowpoke06 Posts: 171
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    oh no! I feel like I gave Michael (my boyfriend) a bad name. He really is amazing, we've been together for a year and 8 months. He really isn't controlling at all and is always supportive of me, we're really good about compromise and stuff...it's just that he worries so much about me with food. I don't think he realizes that he's six foot tall and I'm only 5' 3" ... there's no way I need to eat as much as he does! I do have to remind him from time to time :) He's the one who got me into P90X and actually he's had amazing results and has lost 16 pounds so far. I however, have only lost 6 so I'm evolving into this calorie nazi. I feel like I'm probably one of those people that has to be super strict about food in order to drop or maintain weight. I should probably evaluate if I am even eating enough. I don't have a HRM so I use a Website to estimate the calories I'm burning but I don't always enter it in. He's just worried that I'm going to hurt myself by not giving my body what it needs...I just feel differently sometimes :) I appreciate all the insight guys!

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