Am I overreacting?

Honestly? Maybe a little bit. It is a child's birthday party and going to be done before yours starts, so I wouldn't take it as a personal dig. Sometimes schedules are tight and that was the only date that worked for them. Don't let it get to you and enjoy your party!

Oh no, I have no idea if you are over reacting or not. I just know that in my life lashing out never work out for me. If i figure out a way to make it work then I am happiest if I just let little petty stuff go. If you can both have your party then it really should be okay. Maybe she was thinking that then everyone would be available that day or something.

I had a couple of drinks one night and said some really foolish things on this web site and have regretted it ever since but have no way of reaching out to those people and saying sorry. I think it is best to not have to say sorry in the first place. Just my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest.

A child born on the 31st is like a kid born on Christmas eve or Christmas to me. I understand why they celebrate early.They have to celebrate early otherwise they get lost in the Holiday shuffle. Seems like both parties should be okay....one's a child's, one's for you, and you say they are at different times. It could be okay. I wouldn't be hurt, btw. :flowerforyou:

Did she know about your party first? That you had planned it and everything? Because maybe she just didn't know.

If she DID know, and did it anyways, then she owes you an explanation at the very least. I wouldn't freak out or anything, but calling up her and asking her "oh hey, did you realize that you planned her party for the same day as mine?" I think is reasonable.

I don't think you're overreacting at all. My sister was born on Christmas but my family was always able to choose a party date (other than the holiday itself) that didn't conflict with other family members' birthdays or even other holiday plans. The 31st to the 11th? That's twenty days early! I see no reason why they would need to schedule it so far in advance, especially when your sister-in-law (or at least her spouse!) should have already known what day your birthday falls on. They could have scheduled it later than the actual date, too. My advice to you is to approach your sister-in-law calmly and reasonably, explaining the situation. Even if you only end up explaining how this hurt you (by forgetting your birthday or not caring that it fell on the same day), as opposed to asking her to reschedule, it will make you feel better and perhaps it will prevent something like this from happening in the future. The important thing is to make sure you don't keep this bottled up inside because it will only cause resentment and perhaps even hatred to grow within you, and that is truly no help to anyone. Just keep calm.

Yes, she knew because she RSVP on mine like the third of November. I understand why she does it, and I do not really care. What hurts (and I should have mentioned it) that everybody found out about my sister'in -laws birthday on Thanksgiving Day, but nobody said one thing...when I opened the envelope and I saw the date my husband was like "oh you saw the date, huh?"
Why could not she just come up to me and tell me in person just like she did with everybody else?

Aww, that isn't fair. She definitely should have told you. I think it would be fair of you to tell her how hurt you are, not only that she did it in the first place, but that she didn't even tell you! And tell her that you are upset that you are missing your niece's party because you would have loved to have been there!

Other than that though, as long as it doesn't prevent people from coming to yours, and it ends soon enough that it won't interfere with yours, I think everything will turn out ok. :flowerforyou: