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STRESS!!

kshindledecker
kshindledecker Posts: 11
in Motivation and Support
STRESS!!

Im finding it hard to stay focused on what I SHOULD eat and what is easy because of the lack of time I have during the day. The holidays are around the corner. The bills are piling up and our income isn’t. "Outside" family is making demands of my family at home that we don’t have time for. More and more pressure at work DUE to the holidays.

It seems every time I have tried to take a little "Me" time, there’s just THAT much more to do and I feel guilty because I TOOK that time instead of getting done what needed to be done. ARGGHHH!

Any suggestions on how to balance the stress and trying to live a healthy existence?

Replies

  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
    I've got a lot of stress at the moment too. Do what you HAVE to do, and let the rest go. Others are just going to have to understand.
  • Michelle_J
    Michelle_J Posts: 362 Member
    Tell your outside family very lovingly, that they need to not be so intrusive on you and your family. When I look at your picture, your face tells me that you probably are too nice to say that to family. Pray about it. That's my only other suggestion :glasses:
  • kshindledecker
    kshindledecker Posts: 11
    I cant say no to family, how can I. That’s part of the problem.

    My dad passed away this past July. He was always the one I looked for in support for the holidays and he was always there with the "nudge" or "pull" in the direction I was to go. The Family looked to him for guidance and we ALL miss him greatly. Now with his passing, they look to me.

    There is no way I can EVER fill his shoes but I feel it is up to me to try. My mom, this is her second holiday without him and she takes this one the hardest because of everything he did.

    I prey about it and I know God is listening. My wife has been super by taking on some of the stress as well, but is it right that it gets passed onto her? She’s MY rock to lean against but I don’t want to burden her as well.

    I love Christmas but this year, the stress of the new job, cut in pay and family is just alot harder this year and its sapping the holiday spirit outta me.

    ... and thanks Kami, I have taken that suggestion and it does help. Sometimes, though it just seem not enough.
  • Lesliet05
    Lesliet05 Posts: 148
    It is ok to tell people no, you can't do it all. Very nicely you tell them that at this time we are not able to do it financially or physically. We are pulled in so many directions and we are expected to be super humans, but the reality is we are just people and sometimes we have to just tell people NO!!!! It is not easy to do but with everything in life you have to practice it to get better. This is a lesson that I am working on and the first couple of times that I told them no it was so hard and I felt so bad but now they are learning that I am not doing it to be mean, I just can't do it and instead of letting them down I am just being honest with them and myself.
    It is just a little word but it is so hard to tell people it....... but hang in there and just be honest with them
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    1. Go to bed at a reasonable time. If you're running on empty you won't have the reserves needed to get through your day.
    2. Take 20 mins to plan a week's menu. Planning ahead saves so many headaches and money (because you only buy what you're really going to use) and helps you avoid bad food decisions.
    3. Cut some people from your Christmas list. You don't need to give gifts to every adult in your family -- it's just too darn expensive. Let them know ahead of time that finances are tights and you're not able to give this year or set a very small limit (say $5 max).
    4. Double up on your meals when cooking. If you make a batch of spaghetti, make is double and freeze one batch. That way you have a supper for later in the week already made.
    5. BE SELFISH. Take care of you FIRST. Because if you crash the whole thing comes toppling down so by taking care of you you are taking care of everyone else. Make sure you get at least 15 mins of ME time to rest, decompress, exercise, whatever...

    Good luck!
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Check on your profile and see why you want to loose weight and follow a healthy lifestyle. There are some pretty important things on that list that you should remember when the stress starts to effect how you are acting.

    I know it is hard to say no to family, and I hardly do (unless it is my in-laws lol) but do not forget it is a two way street and sometimes it is OK to ask things of them also.
  • championnfl
    championnfl Posts: 324 Member
    Remember.....If you don't take care of you,....how can you help others? Everyone has stress whether its related to job,family,finances,bills,friends, etc, Do the best you can, thats all you can ask of yourself. Ask God for guidence,energy, & help you handle lifes challenges & adversity! God Bless! [your not alone] :wink:
  • wey1983
    wey1983 Posts: 109
    I read an article once that said in order for you to have a healthy, less stressful life, you MUST take an hour out of each day for YOURSELF. Whether its to read a book, take a walk, work out, whatever...every person needs an hour dedicated to themselves! I go thru the same things you are, I am 100% a people pleaser, everyone comes first and I am dead last. I run aroud most days trying to conquer the world when it just isn't possible. So I finally have started taking that hour to myself. I do a mini-workout in my apartment or I do the Wii Fit. Whatever time is left is for random 'fun' things for myself. Try it for one week, you'll feel so much better and a little more relaxed. Good luck!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    One thing that can an help an awful lot is preplanning meals perhaps on a Sunday night when life is a bit calmer it does help to input your weeks food diary so you don't have to think so much on what's for dinner after working all day (you'll already have the days food planned out in your diary).

    Another idea many have used is cooking over the weekend, taking a few hours out of the day to cook up the weeks worth of chicken breasts (can then be used with pasta dishes, on salads, sandwich's, for a main dish with veggies etc.), cook up a big batch of brown rice, a variety of foods that can be easily warmed for those crazy hectic days we all have in life. This can save a lot of time and save the stress of daily meal planning, it might seem like you don't have time for this but it does become a pattern of habit and then during the week the food is not so much on your mind. The lunches for the family can be planned out etc.

    That will help with the stress level in the house I'm sure as will taking care of you by doing some exercises each day, if you have 20 minutes then do a bit of yoga, perhaps take a walk at lunch time for part of the lunch hour, do some push ups anything at all that's physical helps so much to lower the stress level.

    Taking care of ourselves is the most important thing we can do for our families..if we become frazzled the whole place can come crumbling down. Our minds have not been taught to put us first but it's not selfish it's the sane thing to do to keep some sanity around us.

    I wish you well and hope the family joins in on the above so not only can the stress level be lowered but the family time together is terrific:wink::drinker:
  • tarapin
    tarapin Posts: 169
    I'm taking mental health this semester in nursing school and I will tell you that stress does horrendous things to your body, mind and spirit! Nothing could be more important than taking that "me" time your speaking of. Also my professor, who has been in this line of work for over 20 years told us that 20-30 minutes of exercise a day is equivalent to taking 40 mgs of Zoloft because of the endorphins exercise releases. Me time = a happier you in the long run :bigsmile:
  • orthpole
    orthpole Posts: 16 Member
    What good advice. It is so true, I to was alway trying to please and do things for others by the end of the day I was whipped. I finally just had to do something for me. That is when I started MFP. What a difference, my husband is very supportive. My children are always asking how I'm doing. And my friends are fantastic. You can do it the world will still go around if you step back and make what I call a little me time. Good luck
  • kshindledecker
    kshindledecker Posts: 11
    Thank you all. I got some good feed back and ALL the advice is what I have been hashing out. The holiday is a time for sharing. love and hope. But its also a time for contemplation and rest, like you all said. I have asked my sisters to take some of the stuff my dad used to do to help me out and they took it without complaint. I always thought that the burden was mine to carry alone and its not.

    Thanks guys. Happy Holidays and if you are reading this for the first time, please remember the advice each and everyone contributed to this post. It will help you to.

    God Bless.
    Kurt

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