Question About Trainers

Carrot1971
Carrot1971 Posts: 272 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I have a friend who is a Personal Trainer (just getting started and building her business). She offered to train me on a barter program. The problem with this is 1. we are good friends and our training sessions have become "b*&^ sessions" (mostly on her part..lol). 2. I'm not paying her so there really is no obligation of commitment on her end so I still don't have a set program to use (my end of our barter program won't take effect until the summer starts). 3. She cancels on me more often than not and 4. She is not a nutritionist. So around November/December we took a mutual break (she was going through some major personal issues). I decided I would start training with someone I am FB friends with from HS. She has a very strong business going and is a weight lifter. She is gorgeous. The problem is she is 40 miles away from me. So she offered to train me online. I paid her the money and she emailed me a huge plan. A LOT of information from what times to eat, to what kind of supplements to take. She told me she would work on my exercises later. There was a website she told me about (in passing) about posting workouts. She told me to find an ap to log my calories (already a member of MFP!) and she added me to a closed group on FB. I thought this was going to be great. Then 3 weeks went by without a word from her. I forgot all about the website and was still waiting for workouts from her. (I have some health issues - knees, back, asthma, etc.). I finally remember the website and by that time there were only 4 workouts posted. I did those to the best of my ability alone. I tried to contact her a few times over Christmas and to tell her about some issues I was dealing with (Christmas time depressions, grieving my mother who died around that time last year, problems with my daughter, drinking more than normal, etc). I wanted help with getting back on track and fighting the depression, etc. She talked to me a few times and I know she thought I was a full blown alcoholic. When I tried to deny it then it made me look worse. Whatever, as long as she can help me get fit. So when I told her I needed her paypal account to pay her for another month she told me "you need the money more than I do". I thought she was doing me a favor but she never posted any more workouts, etc. Then I realized she dropped me. So I started utilizing the FB group that she added me to for questions. Everytime I would post a question (about workouts, food, etc) she would come back and berate me about not reading the information she sent me. I give up. Do all trainers work this way? What should I expect from a trainer?

Replies

  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
    What a *****. Isnt her job to do the hard work for you and simplify complicated processes? I thought you paid a trainer so you'd never have to do the research and you could just follow their plan. Good trainer=good results. What good is she if she expects you to do a ton of research? You aren't trying to become a fitness guru and train people, you just want the end result. This lady obviously thinks her time is too valuable.
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    Not okay. Find someone else who wants you to do well. I have never had a PT session other than the hour I spent with one who developed my program. He works in the gym I use and is always checking up on me, making sure I'm getting on okay keeping me positive so now I feel like if I quit I'll let him down.
  • molissep
    molissep Posts: 452 Member
    Sounds like you need to train with someone you don't know and someone local. I can understand trainning with a friend and end up chatting more than working out, unelss you're both really focused and able to put that aside. As for this other trainer, she sounds like a complete jerk. I've worked out with two trainers and when there were problem areas in my life they did not brush them under the table or take a leave of absence, they listened and genuinely helped me.

    The trainer I work out with now is not a nutritionist, however, she does know about calorie requirements and healthy eating, so she will give me tips and ideas, as well as look over my MFP diary and make comments. She rarely cancels (minus all the snow we've been having, but that's a given) and takes into consideration everything I bring up or comment on. If I ask something that she doesn't know the answer to, she will research and get back to me.

    If you want to work with a a trainer (I find it helps me quite a bit to not get bored and also stay motivated) I would consider starting from scratch, or really sitting down with your friend and say "Hey, I really would love your help, but we need to try to focus more on our workouts and less on our BS sessions". Make sure she doesn't think you're pointing the finger at her, but that you really want to reach your fitness goals and would love to do it with her!

    As for the other trainer, I say get outta that FB group and away from them. Your questions should not be answered with statements about you not reading the information, they should be answered professionaly and it doesn't sound like she knows how to do that.

    Best of luck!
  • Tyggress73
    Tyggress73 Posts: 104 Member
    My suggestion when it comes to a trainer is to find someone you do NOT know ahead of time.

    A really good trainer has what I call "the heart of a teacher". They are interested in their clients' best interests and improving their lives and their health. There are a lot of bad trainers who do not follow their own advice and are in it purely for the money. I see trainers who are out of shape themselves, who are just peddling steroids or other supplements, or who aren't paying attention to their clients in the gym.

    I will say that a good trainer will get frustrated when their clients don't follow their plans, but a good one will care enough to help you and support you along the way.

    I would say any trainer associated with a gym (whereby they actually work for the gym, you pay the gym for the sessions, like LA Fitness, for example) are limited in how much they can help you. Because the bigger conglomerate gyms don't want to pay for the added liability insurance, they often limit their trainers on how much they can teach, ESPECIALLY with nutrition and diet. It's a shame, really, because your diet accounts for 80 - 90% of any fitness program, whether it's to gain weight or lose weight or get fit. So oftentimes they are really just there to help you use the machines and equipment properly. That can be beneficial as well, depending on what you are looking for. Gym-based trainers are very good for beginners, I think.

    There are some online trainers, like Lean Bodies Consulting, who send you plans to follow...and they are very good, but can be pricey. Those work if you are just looking for a plan to follow and don't need the one-on-one.

    I would do a search for PT's in your area and interview them. See what their philosophy is. Where did they get their certification (and look that up, because they are a dime a dozen now-a-days and it really doesn't take much for people to get certified), do they provide diet and workout advice? Do they go into the gym and train/motivate you personally? Do you mesh with their personality and style, etc?

    A lot depends on what you are looking for in a trainer. Do you want someone to give you a plan and you run with it, or are you looking for a more personal relationship with them? That will determine what type of trainer to look for as well.

    I had a PT for the past year, who has since become my husband's training partner (they are both competitive bodybuilders). I had my last session with him this morning, and it was bittersweet. He knew he had taught me everything he could, and it was a waste of my money to continue paying him. But we built a great rapport over the past year, and it felt like a major break-up this morning. :( Luckily, since he and my husband train together, he will still be in my life and they are both willing to beat my *kitten* in the gym every once in awhile...because I would miss that.

    A good trainer truly cares about you and your success on all levels.

    Good luck.

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