Did losing the weight make you Happy?

So far I've lost 35 pounds and I have about 40 more to go till my goal weight. I feel like the weight is flying off and even though 40 is still a lot it's also not. I'm afraid once I hit my goal weight I won't be happy. Like after you reach it won't it be like" okay Now what?" Has anyone who reached there goal weight no what I'm talking about..

I think when I started losing weight I thought this would fix everything.. I'll be more attractive, which means i'll get a boyfriend which means i'll be one step closer to getting married and living happily ever after lol but lately I've been thinking, what if i reach my goal and nothing changes! what if I put to much expectation on the way I look and deep down once I get there I 'll still feel not good enough? I'm not sure if this makes sense or if anyone else has felt this way but If you have please leave me a comment!

thanks =]
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Replies

  • You are looking great! Congrats on your weight loss so far! You will be so much happier when you are more healthy and fit. I am not at my goal weight yet and although I still have problems and a few self esteem issues, I am way more confident and happier.
    -best of luck!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    A few thoughts. Being fit will greatly improve your chances of finding a mate. Being able to buy clothes you like and look good in will make you happier than the shopping drudge when nothing cute looks good on you. Looking good at an event makes you feel confident and proud. research shows attractive and fit people get better jobs and are viewed as smarter.

    so.. I think being fit makes for being more happy. is it the cure all to life? no. a magic bullet? no.

    but just like being rich is better than being poor. being fit is better than being fat. money isn't everything… and looks aren't everything…but they make life easier.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I was pretty happy before...I have much less stress about health issues these days and I have a lot more energy than I used to and I love being fit. I don't know that simply losing weight is going to make someone that much happier than they were before...usually there are deeper issues at hand and weight loss and fitness don't really get at the root of those issues. Just my $.02
  • loubidy
    loubidy Posts: 440 Member
    I had the "what next?" Thought but I've decided I want to become strong so will continue to lift and up weights
  • Well, the exercise sure made my levels of stress decrease over time and I felt better once I noticed all my old pants no longer fit me. I'm at what's considered to be a healthy weight range now however I've lost satisfaction with my current self since I'm sure my body fat percentage is at a high, unhealthy percentage (guess you could say I'm skinny-fat). I no longer focus on losing pounds but losing fat and replacing it with muscle, since I've noticed many fit women of my stature are around my weight range. But yes, losing the weight did make me happier but I wouldn't place all your esteem into your looks. Elisa's mentions of studies might be true but it's about your confidence and representation that make you attractive, not how skinny or fit you are.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    If you're expecting to step on the scale one day and see a certain number, followed instantly by Mr. Right walking into your bathroom and sweeping you away to a fairy tale existence, then yeah, you're going to be disappointed. Losing weight isn't like rubbing a genie bottle. But as someone else said, being smaller will definitely increase your opportunities to find someone without settling.



    .
  • YorriaRaine
    YorriaRaine Posts: 370 Member
    Before I joined mfp I lost around 40 pounds by cutting down on portion sizes on my own during the 2013 year. I am still considered obese but I can tell you my weight loss journey so far has made me happier simply based on mood. However, in terms of other "stresses" in life besides our image / health, weight loss won't solve those problems. I think though, when you go on a journey like that, it kinda shows you that you can do anything, and that can help you in other aspects of your life.
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member
    well, that will be the question for me too! However I am starting off pretty happy; I have a satisfying life, but have not dated in 11 years.. because I have not been asked.. Spent a lot of time in the beginning trying to find ways to get exposed to date-able men, with zero success. I have accepted that singlehood is where I am and made a great life for myself. But when I get down 20lbs (my first goal) then I am going to try again. My long term goal is to have a family group (friends or hubby and his bio family - not kids of my own) that would mean I would have a group to celebrate with as each time a celebration come around (b-day, christmas, a business event) now I have to call around to see if anyone will let me join them or would like to come to my house - often I just celebrate with the dog. As 359 days a year I am really happy, friends, a few stray family members, the dog, my business - but there are about 6 days a year that are just lonely and I feel like a charity case. So bye bye weight, and with less weight maybe some less loneliness....
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    No, it didn't make me happy. It has definitely been worth it. I have less to worry about regarding health and there are other little things like not hating having my picture being taken, or just having a bit more fun clothes shopping. It doesn't "fix" everything though. A lot of people find that their confidence improves with the weight loss, but deep seated self esteem issues are never going to be solved just like that. If you don't like yourself bigger, then chances are you're not going to like yourself smaller either.

    If you think about it, there are a lot of overweight people who are happy, and lots of overweight people who are attractive to other people - fun, confident, sexy, charismatic or whatever. There are also lots of slim people who are socially awkward, have low self esteem, lack confidence etc. Losing the weight helps, but it's never going to be a magical solution to everything.
  • KFV45
    KFV45 Posts: 4
    Just feeling lighter in general will give you a sense of satisfaction. Feeling good in your own skin! For me, waking up and going to the gym for 45 minutes for some strength training, having a healthy snack and then 45 minutes of cardio, sets the tone for the day. I feel physically and emotionally better.
  • lsuz
    lsuz Posts: 74
    Wow - what a thoughtful and insightful and mature question. First off, major congrats on reaching your half-way point. You should be SO proud of your journey thus far. You look great and what you've accomplished takes work. What many don't think about (I didn't back then) was how much work it takes to maintain and move forward once the weight is off. Maybe some people glide into their new lives, but I didn't. I reached my original, impossible, too-thin goal of 109 (I am 5'7) in my twenties and I thought that it would fix everything. I was wrong. I had panic attacks. I had no idea how to be truly heathy. I was focused on a number and not my health. That's MY story. And -- here I am again - older, hopefully a tad wiser. However, I also learned how much I loved exercise and sports and how much I loved clothes and being confident. As a side note, I'll say how shocked I was when some close friend dropped off because they were jealous and felt more comfortable with the fat me. THAT hit me like a sucker punch. Who would think that? But you learn.

    Today - I am doing it with a few other things in mind. I've got 60 to lose now and I'm learning how to eat right and respect what that does for my body. I'm working to love the process and each day I work on my relationship with ME. It's not about the end-game anymore. I am doing this for ME. I want to be strong and healthy for ME. I wish that someone had told me back then that losing the weight is only half the battle. Get your brain in a good spot and give yourself whatever help you need. Build your confidence in whatever way works for you. Is there something you've always wanted to do but haven't because of your weight -- do it. Start from the inside out and think of all the things you want for yourself that WILL happen and ARE happening -- not because of your weight but because YOU are YOU.

    Then enjoy the ride and enjoy being thinner and healthier -- because that's a great thing. And yes, it WILL impact a lot of things in your life.

    I hope this helps. The fact you are even thinking this way shows how strong you are. Nothing can stop you from reaching your goals. Can't wait to hear more about this next part of your journey.

    :flowerforyou:
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Hell yes! I am thrilled with the new body I carved out of my old self!

    That said, having a goal body does not CAUSE happiness. If you are battling with depression, or have other trials in your life, getting fit will not fix that. If you aren't happy before, a different body shape won't suddenly fix everything. Just something to keep in mind.

    In reference to your "now what?" comment, the good thing about that, is you never have to be stuck. You can/always should be changing your goals to just past what you already achieved so there's always something to work for. Got to your goal weight? Great, now go push your number of miles ran without stopping, or your speed/mile, or your weights lifted.
  • SbetaK
    SbetaK Posts: 398 Member
    well, that will be the question for me too! However I am starting off pretty happy; I have a satisfying life, but have not dated in 11 years.. because I have not been asked.. Spent a lot of time in the beginning trying to find ways to get exposed to date-able men, with zero success. I have accepted that singlehood is where I am and made a great life for myself. But when I get down 20lbs (my first goal) then I am going to try again. My long term goal is to have a family group (friends or hubby and his bio family - not kids of my own) that would mean I would have a group to celebrate with as each time a celebration come around (b-day, christmas, a business event) now I have to call around to see if anyone will let me join them or would like to come to my house - often I just celebrate with the dog. As 359 days a year I am really happy, friends, a few stray family members, the dog, my business - but there are about 6 days a year that are just lonely and I feel like a charity case. So bye bye weight, and with less weight maybe some less loneliness....

    ^Have you thought about spending your holidays/lonely days at a volunteer organization-like one that serves meals to homeless people or seniors, and fundraiser charity events? You are bound to meet people there who will invite you back! It gets you out of the house to spend time helping others, and meeting new people that can be potential friends.
  • SbetaK
    SbetaK Posts: 398 Member
    To OP-Yes! Losing weight makes you happier in that you gain confidence in yourself for being able to meet a challenge and succeed. Sadly, people treat you with more respect. You look and feel better in clothes. Your increased confidence can lead you to opening new doors, trying things you were inhibited to do before, such as go to a beach in a skimpy swimsuit (where guys are), dancing, outdoor activities like bicycling, skiing, walking/running in races, etc. As your confidence leads you to a broader experience in life you will most
    likely start meeting those guys and showing them you are a confident gal who can be a lot of fun to hang around. Weight loss is not a majic bullet to happiness, but it can open the door and give you the confidence to walk down the path towards it. Good luck!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I have lost 113 lb so far from my highest weight (in 2008) and I am roughly 20-30 lb from my yet-to-be-determined ultimate goal and I am happier with my body (even with loose skin issues) by far. I have a bit more confidence as well. I do not feel that the weight loss has changed my life though. My health was pretty good to begin with and of course it is better now. But my love life, professional life, etc, is all the same.

    This is different for everyone.

    I personally think it is a bad idea to expect things to change because your weight changes. I'm not saying that's what you are doing. But I have seen people make that mistake and it usually backfires on them. My best advice is to view it like this: I changed my body. I can change my life in other ways, too!!

    As for dating...I strongly feel it is a good idea to start seeking a partner long before you feel that you're at the "ideal" weight or size.
  • BrittanyLynne21
    BrittanyLynne21 Posts: 66 Member
    Thank you so much for taking the time to really share your own experience and the advice! Your words really did touch me and I really do appreciate it!! I'm so glad this site allows us to turn to each other for support and motivation. =] thanks again
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    No, but I have horrible self-esteem and severe depression.
  • Noamsh
    Noamsh Posts: 79 Member
    I'm really close to my goal, and honestly? No, I'm not happy.
    Being thin doesn't change everything. I found other things to feel self conscious about, because after all, I'm still me, the same me. And sometimes that sucks. Unfortunately, losing weight only changes your appearance, and I guess that how you feel after depends on how you felt when you started, because your problems and your self doubts will still be there.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    First, you're pretty and you have a beautiful smile! So don't worry about that...
    Second, no it hasn't made me happy. Ok I'm happier because I don't stay home all day watching tv or playing video games... I go out for a walk or something. And I don't have the worries (or the self pity/shame) associated with being obese anymore... so that's definitely an improvement... and obviously I'm more comfortable in my own skin.

    But otherwise, I'm still me... the rest of my life hasn't changed.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    I was happy before losing weight. Now I just look much better. I don't associate happiness with being thin or fit or rich or tall or young, etc. Happiness is a state of being, not a state of having.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
    ""But we often come here to fix our lives, not just our weight"-Hylos Barrett"\
    So, No weight loss will not make you happy.
    You need to be happy as you are now.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    So far I've lost 35 pounds and I have about 40 more to go till my goal weight. I feel like the weight is flying off and even though 40 is still a lot it's also not. I'm afraid once I hit my goal weight I won't be happy. Like after you reach it won't it be like" okay Now what?" Has anyone who reached there goal weight no what I'm talking about..

    I think when I started losing weight I thought this would fix everything.. I'll be more attractive, which means i'll get a boyfriend which means i'll be one step closer to getting married and living happily ever after lol but lately I've been thinking, what if i reach my goal and nothing changes! what if I put to much expectation on the way I look and deep down once I get there I 'll still feel not good enough? I'm not sure if this makes sense or if anyone else has felt this way but If you have please leave me a comment!

    thanks =]

    The "problem" with associating weight loss goal and happiness is that if you're not happy when you hit that number, then you will put the weight back on again. Like you said, you are hoping your whole life will change when you reach goal weight. It won't. Your life is what you choose to make of it regardless of what the scale says.
  • GertrudeHorse
    GertrudeHorse Posts: 646 Member
    Research shows that some people experience increased happiness after losing weight, but that this usually goes back to whatever the "baseline" happiness level was after a while.
  • I am very self-conscious and shy, my weight being only one aspect of that; however, I'm trying to focus my goal on what I want from myself and not how others will perceive me. I want to be able to wear cute clothes and go shopping with my sister. I want to prove it to myself that I am capable-- that if I stay dedicated and strong, I can succeed. I relish the control I can have over my own diet and use it to improve my body.

    The only reason that doesn't "count" for that is for my dad: I want to show him that if I can do it, then he can too!

    In any case, I anticipate being at least a little happier, if not simply more comfortable, at a more ideal weight. I've even found that just forcing myself to reevaluate my motivations in this way has slowly started to effect the other aspects of self-consciousness as well. I'm not only changing my body, but my mind too!
  • wozkaa
    wozkaa Posts: 224 Member
    When i am at my ideal weight, I am 'happier' because I am more confident and less worried about how I look, and whether my pants are too tight. I wear clothes that accurately reflect my personality.

    I have a long term friend who lost 65kg and is as anxious, unsure and prone to depression as ever. I think she thought losing weight would 'fix' her life to what she wanted. Sure, she's moving in a better direction but still flaps her arms and panics just as much.
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    For me personally, no.

    Being fit will allow me to do things I used to be able to do 10 years ago, like run 8 miles and jump on the bike to the grocery store and bike back with 60 lbs of groceries on my back and keep up with my bf and his friend when we go hiking.

    Being able to do those things will fulfill a part of my life I think it necessary, but simply losing the weight and being skinnier absolutely will not make me a generally happier person. I think my happiness has been pretty much the same whether I've weighed 130 lbs or 170 lbs...
  • orracle69
    orracle69 Posts: 3 Member
    As one other poster said, it made me happier. And the complements are nice.

    I got tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a fat old lady. I couldn't anything about the old part but I could do something about the fat part. Also, I figure my daughter will be getting married some day and I want to look good at the wedding!

    I have lost 38# as of today and want to do 5 more--maybe even a few more than that. Trying on clothes is so much more fun! I'm down 2-3 sizes, depending on the brand.

    I actually started my program with LoseIt rather than MFP--it was easier to use but didn't have as many foods. So if my post shows fewer pounds lost, that's why.
  • No, it didn't make me happy. It has definitely been worth it. I have less to worry about regarding health and there are other little things like not hating having my picture being taken, or just having a bit more fun clothes shopping. It doesn't "fix" everything though. A lot of people find that their confidence improves with the weight loss, but deep seated self esteem issues are never going to be solved just like that. If you don't like yourself bigger, then chances are you're not going to like yourself smaller either.

    If you think about it, there are a lot of overweight people who are happy, and lots of overweight people who are attractive to other people - fun, confident, sexy, charismatic or whatever. There are also lots of slim people who are socially awkward, have low self esteem, lack confidence etc. Losing the weight helps, but it's never going to be a magical solution to everything.

    This is the best answer I've read so far. Back when I was 5'1 and 210 lbs, I thought I would be ooooodles happier by the time I was 130 lbs. But deep-seated issues with self image don't go away with weight loss. That's a brain problem, not a weight problem.
  • kmclamb13
    kmclamb13 Posts: 220 Member
    I have got almost down to my goal but never reached it. I sabotage myself every time and end up gaining the weight all back. This last time I didn't wait to gain it all back before i started losing again. It sometimes takes help to understand why you deserve it and i did see a therapist to help my self esteem .My motto is if i never give up I will never fail.Yes you can be happy ,I'm happier than i have ever been and have found someone terrific.
  • katznkt
    katznkt Posts: 320 Member
    I'm happier.

    But I think it depends on why you are dissatisfied before and how much loss you have. For me... I like me, have a great family, great job, great house. I'm very content. But the one thing I wasn't satisfied with was my weight and resultant bad health. And I really hated huffing up a single flight of stairs.

    So in my case losing weight filled me with joy. I'm more comfortable in public, and doing everything is easier and more fun.

    But if my negatives had been different before then they wouldn't be better now.
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