Friends who wants to compare...drive me nuts!

You don't have to respond, just ignore and change the subject every time she starts doing it.

That said you probably do not see her all that often...so does it really matter? Let her have her insecurities.

Just ignore her.

Hi all!

My friend A and I used to be basically the same weight and height (though slightly different body types) and we joked about that all the time. Since October I've lost about 12 pounds and went down 1-2 pant sizes. I haven't seen A at all since October, until earlier this month, during which time I noticed she has gained probably as much weight as I have lost, and she noticed my weight loss.

Since that visit, A keeps making passing comments about how we are the same size and all that, or tells me about how small she is, or that she hasn't gained weight (unprompted-- I never said anything) or subtly compares our bodies and deem them equal. It drives me nuts.

A and I both are self-conscious with our bodies, so I understand why she would do this. It probably makes her extra self-conscious to see my progress. That said, her comparisons really bothers me.

Anyone has similar experiences? Or have ideas on how to deal with this kind of comments? I really don't know how to respond without being mean!

I actually had a friend like this. We both joined the gym and started losing weight together. The difference was that I didn't count calories and mainly focused on eating clean and and she restricted calories everywhere she could, and that she focused on cardio while I lifted and did cardio. We both saw results, and eventually she hit a plateau that she couldn't break through and more or less started copying everything I was doing, except for the eating. I had no issue she was my best friend.

Anyways, the way she was eating came back to haunt her, she couldn't sustain it. I lost around 30lbs, and she lost only about 15 in the same amount of time. She would start making sly digs about my body (even though I lost the weight I was still self conscious) it started with small comments like 'oh your arms need a bit more work' and 'oh your hips are still womanly, i loooove curves like that'. Eventually they got nastier and nastier, until my own best friend literally over the course of weeks turned into my biggest bully ever about my weight.

Quite obviously we don't really talk anymore which is kind of hurtful. I do my best to stay in touch with her but there was a while where I didn't see her and when I did that cemented the end of our friendship. I had lost a total of around 50lbs, was feeling great and she had gained back all the weight she had lost and some more. She ended up larger than what she had started off at.

My advice to you would be, if she's not saying anything nasty or demoralizing to you, just leave it. She'll deal with it by herself. Or even, invite her to work out with you, because clearly she's feeling self conscious. But if it does get to that stage, talk to her and don't pretend like nothing is wrong like I did.

PM me if you wanna talk more!

That said, her comparisons really bothers me.

But...your entire OP is a comparison with her body....?