Did losing the weight make you Happy?
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OP, congratulations on your weight loss so far and thank you so much for asking this question. It's been one I've been asking myself for a while now.
I have horrible self-esteem, and I know that's not going to go away with the weight loss. I've still not been able to discern much difference in the mirror, and I know that's all mental. But I've also felt much better with the greater amount of exercise I've been doing (just walking and a bit of body resistance so far) - I don't get as angry or frustrated with myself as I'm more capable physically and the mini-goals (both weight loss and fitness-wise) I've met have been a definite confidence boost.
I'm afraid I don't have any answers, indeed I'm asking the same questions you are. I'm not sure where the line is going to be drawn. But anything I've gained in the last six and a half months has been on the right side of the equation. And anything I can get right now is a plus.
Good luck on the rest of your journey.0 -
Losing weight is a great goal to have for your fitness and health that can cause you to feel more confident in other areas of your life. However, just because the weight is gone, the magic fairy doesn't wave her wand and give you a perfect life. What I recommend is that you find things to do that make you happy. Take a class that interests you, learn a language, make some jewelry, whatever interests you. Work on developing yourself as a person overall that you would be happy hanging out with. Ultimately, we hang out with ourselves every day. It helps if we like who we are.
If we have a fulfilling life, when somebody comes into our lives, we still have a life, and our life does not revolve around the new person in it. We then will also have an opportunity to share more of ourselves and our interests. Not to mention that if we get out and do things that are interesting, we will have more opportunities to meet people that have similar interests!0 -
Yes. I feel very proud od having achieved something I thought was impossible which is losing 70 pounds. I feel light, strong and confident. As for the rest of my life I feel it hasn't changed. I wanted to lose weight for me and did that.0
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When I was 145 I thought I was fat (even though I was curvy and turned heads) and was very unhappy with myself. Now I'm 195 and my GOAL is 140. I hope that once I fight my way back into a size ten I'll appreciate my body more and be more confident than I was in high school.
My biggest confidence boot came after my high school sweetheart of four years left me. I got over him and realized I was stronger than I thought and could do anything I wanted to without a guy to guide me. I became my own rock. I didn't love myself until someone tore me to bits and made me rebuild. But sadly, I eat my feelings the most when I'm happy and I slowly gained weight for another four years.
So for me, confidence and weight are two totally different areas and don't have a lot to do with each other. I hope I get a surge of smiles when my scale says the magic number and the cute dresses fit. But I put my confidence in my mind, not my tummy.0 -
Yes I am proud of myself and have more work I want to do that isn't weight related.0
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Congrats on your success this far!
For me, I got to my goal and went lax and gained 10 lbs, now that I've gotten it back off, I find to maintain is just as hard as losing...so it gives me something to focus on. I have also made some new goals that aren't scale related.
I wanted to comment on something that stood out to me in your post - When I was with my kid's father it was rough for some very big reasons, I thought when we broke up and I lost the weight it would be a shoe-in for a great guy. Not saying it won't for you, but for me, that's when I really started to realize that there was a lot more for me to work on then my weight. It's almost like my weight hid a lot or made me blind to other things - it was protection. I under covered so much I had to work on - not only self confidence, but self esteem, self worth, etc. It was a hard road, I cried a lot - it was painful, I smiled a lot, but I am still working away. I have come along way. I had no idea that that was coming when I embarked on this journey!
With respect to my self esteem and confidence, losing the weight did wonders for that. It feels so good to feel comfortable in your own skin and in any clothes, and I wouldn't change that for the world. Working my *kitten* off daily to maintain and keep this lifestyle, is one worth fighting for.
Good luck!0 -
A few thoughts. Being fit will greatly improve your chances of finding a mate. Being able to buy clothes you like and look good in will make you happier than the shopping drudge when nothing cute looks good on you. Looking good at an event makes you feel confident and proud. research shows attractive and fit people get better jobs and are viewed as smarter.
so.. I think being fit makes for being more happy. is it the cure all to life? no. a magic bullet? no.
but just like being rich is better than being poor. being fit is better than being fat. money isn't everything… and looks aren't everything…but they make life easier.
My sentiments exactly...0 -
I have not lost a large amount of weight...in fact Im morbidly obese and just starting this journey, but i can offer you some relationship advice. You have to learn to love what you see when you look deep inside yourself before you can ever love what you see in the mirror. Love and accept yourself EXACTLY the way you are now, and then begin to make it even better. You wont be able to have a healthy loving honest relationship with another person (including all of their flaws) unless you first allow yourself the same. Good luck on your journey!0
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Oprah Winfrey once said (about why people are overweight), "It's not what you're eating. It's what's eating you." Losing the weight will not fix the issues which caused you to turn to food for comfort. Find out what those issues are, deal with them, move on from them, love yourself, forgive yourself--and you can then find happiness (and will probably keep the weight off in the process). Good luck, and great work so far!!0
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Of course, for those ppl wanting to shed weight, that when they start to actually notice a difference in themselves then that does create a sense of achievement and this leads to happiness. Although such happiness can be short lived as we are our own worst critics....I personally, 14 months ago weighed in at 15 stone and this week have just entered into the 9 stone range. In 2013, I probably achieved the biggest physical change that my body will ever experience. This makes me happy, v.happy....but I still see chunky thighs and love handles and that's not to mention bingo wings! But for those of us on this journey we have to find a satisfaction which goes beyond happiness. Happiness comes from our own identity and how we live everyday not just from looks.
During my weight loss I took time off work and after two months on leave (personal reasons) I went back and that's when ppl noticed...the compliments were lovely and yes I did draw some attention from the male variety (although this for me wasn't why I lost weight btw!) but I still had issues in my own mind that I needed to address....losing weight is maybe for some people just scratching the surface of an entirely long journey. I, for what it may be worth, am on a life detox- weight, career and relationship... All these things that I want to change will be beyond the rule of the bathroom scales. There is always going to be something niggling at us to discontent our happiness.
If you feel you are struggling with confidence or the eternal pursuit of happiness then maybe try this- the journey with your weight is your method of expressing who you want to become. Look at other things going on in your life, what can you do besides your focus on becoming healthier, to better yourself and reach not your full potential but your best potential. Give yourself time. A life change does not happen overnight as I am learning, take time out to think about you and eventually you should reach your own "happy place" but remember-YOU CAN BE THE ONLY ONE TO BE MERITED FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS, you are in control...0 -
You are gorgeous and you HAVE lost a lot of weight. If your friend had done this, you would be proud and happy for them. (See what I'm getting at?) don't minimize what you have done- whether it's losing weight or anything else. A good job is a good job- no matter who did it!
I have found in my lifelong journey toward healthy self esteem that self-help books are a godsend. During one of my lowest points, I dragged my depressed *kitten* to the bookstore and pored over all the books in the self-help/inspiration section until I found 2 I thought might help me (tho the whole idea seemed a little hippy-dippy to me, I was desperate). I went home, read them, implemented the changes, trusted the process, and reaped the rewards. It took well over a year, but at the End of it I was in a much better place. I've always been a researcher; I ask myself questions like:
-what do the experts say about this?
-what are the statistical chances of success with this?
-what are common risks/pitfalls associated with this?
- about whatever I am trying to learn/do/find out about. Knowledge is power. And so it was the same way when I wanted to become more confident, to like myself more. It's the same with my weight loss- I researched it (still am), came up with a plan, implemented it, I tweak it as necessary, and I reap the rewards. I do the same with my relationship. YOU must have a little of this in you bc here you are, having lost a significant amount of weight, and questioning how your brain and emotions will handle these changes, and wondering how your future self will deal with them.
Long comment short, no, weight loss won't make you happy by itself. YOU will make you happy. Bc you will figure out how to BE happy with yourself. All you gotta do is take a deep breath, figure out what you need to do to like yourself and your life more, then be brave enough to try and keep trying. And you WILL make it if you do that and keep trying. Failure only happens when one quits trying.
An aside on guys, from a girl who knows from personal experience----
You know when Mr. Right will come into your life? At the exact moment when you are way, waaaay too busy and happy doing your own thing to want to fool with him. That's what my mom told me (cliche I know) and she was SOOO right (I never believed her, tried so hard, got disappointed, rinse and repeat, and finally stopped worrying about him and got on with doing my own thing, and BAM- there he was). We have been married 10 years now, and I couldn't be happier, but when he finally showed up, I kinda told him to get lost at first bc I did NOT have time for all that falling in love stuff- I had PLANS. Luckily, he understood and appreciated a woman having her own busy life- in fact it kinda drove him crazy with longing. And really, the rest is history, and a happy one at that.
So, find out what makes you tick and you will be happy- the romance will take care of itself. In fact, most things will take care of themselves if you keep your happiness with yourself as a priority and remember to always be kind to you. You are soooo worth it.
Sorry this was so long. Good luck and you go on with your bad self!0 -
I find I am happy when I look in the mirror if i am exercising, working out and making an effort with my diet irrelevant of my weight. where even at my skinniest when i was slobbing about i kinda sighed when i looked in the mirror.
i think fitness made me happier than weight loss.
does that make sense?0 -
I don't think it makes you happy if you have other things going on. But there are some things that definitely make me happy about losing weight - feeling confident, shopping for cute clothes, feeling healthy, getting off blood pressure and cholesterol meds, and small victories like that. So it won't take away unhappiness, but it will add some positive things that offset some of it. Good luck!0
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As for dating...I strongly feel it is a good idea to start seeking a partner long before you feel that you're at the "ideal" weight or size.
I really do agree with this. I met my current bf of two years at my very highest weight - I weighed 20 lbs more than he did
He thinks I'm beautiful inside and out and he's very supportive in me getting back in shape because he's a runner and would love for me to go on runs with him. But he's not pressuring me into losing weight. He just loves me for me at any weight, really.
I have friends who are obese or overweight who have found the loves of their lives and did not "settle" ... I think most people who truly fall in love with another person's personality and character doesn't WANT their partner to be unhealthy, but being overweight usually isn't a deal breaker when everything else is there.
I've also met way too many men (or women) who rely 100% on looks as to who they date, and those are NOT the men you want to fall in love with. Or women.0 -
Weight loss by itself does not make me happy. Feeling like a super hero, sleeping like a baby, running circles around people half my age, touching my toes, chasing my dog, thinking clearly, reconnecting with my spouse having the energy to do whatever I want...That makes me happy.0
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Not "happy", but "happier". I've always been a half glass full mentality. But my sense of well being kicked up a notch when I took off 40 lbs and got back to my college/younger adult weight. I've managed to keep it off within a range.0
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No.
But realising that I can achieve something that previously felt so completely out of my control and reach has made me completely re-evaluate and acknowledge the fact that I am stronger than I thought, and capable of so much more than I realised. THAT makes me happy.0 -
Weight loss by itself does not make me happy. Feeling like a super hero, sleeping like a baby, running circles around people half my age, touching my toes, chasing my dog, thinking clearly, reconnecting with my spouse having the energy to do whatever I want...That makes me happy.
Awesome post! I couldn't have said it better.0 -
I want to disagree with everyone saying that you'll find a man when you lose more weight. I found the best man I'd ever met after I *gained* weight. However, I have found that losing weight makes me happier. Mostly because I feel better. Then it's because I can do more things that I love easier (surfing, yoga, etc). Third, it's because I feel more comfortable in my skin, and then I'm better able to express myself with people, and they get to see the real me and love me for that (instead of self-conscious me, who always seems shy).
Good luck with your weight loss. You're doing wonderfully so far.0 -
Congratulations on making such fantastic progress, we are all so proud of you. Your question is very thought provoking so below are some of my thoughts.
Having a healthy lifestyle and being fit do not make anyone happy. However, it can make it easier to feel happy. It can make it easier to feel happy for many reasons that a lot of people have already mentioned such as feeling stronger and more fit, satisfaction from accomplishing a goal, satisfaction from being disciplined enough to live a healthier lifestyle. However, to be happy or not is a choice each person makes each moment of the day. You have so much going for you there is no reason you not to choose to be happy.
Being thinner does not assure anyone of finding a boyfriend. However, given current societal tendencies it can make it easier. It can make it easier for many of the reasons that people have already mentioned. However, many people have overcome these obstacles. You have so much going for you there is no reason you cannot overcome these obstacles.
Take care and thanks for sharing.0 -
I haven't lost as much as many on here but being 5ft it has made a substantial difference in my appearance. I am much happier than I was 15-20 pounds ago as I'm more body confident. I think confidence is the main thing that attracts a good man and right now I'd say my confidence is about 75% of what it should be. However that doesn't necessarily mean that when I drop the remaining 9-15 pounds I will be at 100% and my dream man will appear. Unfortunately life isn't that kind but the loss will hopefully make me more open to new opportunities and new experiences which may eventually lead to me meeting someone or at least making new friends.
In a nutshell - yes I'm much happier than I was 3 months ago, way happier than I was 6 months ago and about a million times happier than I was a year ago and a lot of this is to do with my body confidence.0
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