Criticised for logging/weighing food?

Slphertslon
Slphertslon Posts: 2
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

Background - I am not overweight, but recently my BMI reached the higher end of normal and I decided I wanted to do something about it. I am short and small boned and I look and feel much better at a lower weight. Six weeks ago I began logging on MFP and weighing my food, plus increasing exercise. I have lost 5lbs so far, and plan on maybe another 3-4 more.

My husband has been really supportive, but I haven't really discussed this with anyone else unless they ask. The other day, my husband mentioned to one of his family members (who I am pretty close with) that I have been logging/weighing and she really laid in to me.

She told me that I was a freak, that I would get an ED, that I was building a very unhealthy relationship with food, that I was restricting myself and it was crazy etc etc. Keep in mind I had just eaten a huge burger and chips and ice cream and not logged it (I do have cheat days and a break once in a while!)I was really taken aback and didn't really know how to respond. I ended up justifying myself and explaining that portion control was actually really important and that I was happy and it was working. We ended up agreeing to disagree but it really hurt me. I wish I had come up with a better response. I don't agree with her food choices and lifestyle but I would never say that to her!

Anyone else faced these sort of comments? What do you do?

Replies

  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
    Firstly I want to say well done for wanting to stay healthy. I wish that I had done something before my weight became a problem instead of being obese before I acted =)

    As for your husbands family member, I don't see how it is any of her business. Like your husband, my partner is supportive too and that is all that matters.
    Personally I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone who proves to be negative. If someone is not supportive then I am not interested in what they have to say.

    If you do get questioned, be polite but firm. "I am not willing to discus this because I don't have to justify myself to you or anyone"

    You should ask your husband not to discuss your eating habits with anyone even his family.

    You do what you feel is best for you because at the end of the day, if you don't do something now your next post could be... I stopped logging and weighing because someone told me I was a freak and now I have 100lb to lose.
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    Weighing and measuring food is a healthy relationship with food - I find that awareness of what I eat hits home sometimes (this morning for instance) You have chosen to take control of something so that in the future you won't be in a position where you have to worry about your weight and it's affect on your health. Keep doing what you are doing when you hit your loss goal switch to maintenance. Congrats on being pro-active when so many of us are reactive :drinker:
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
    Is your family member overweight or have her own issues with food? I only ask because misery loves company.

    Anytime I mention to anyone I'm trying to lose a few pounds, I get "oh but you're fine!" First I carry my weight well so I look pretty good. Second it's no ones business but mine. So my response is usually "my doctor told me to because my BMI is a little high." (Which is true). People are surprised (because doctors usually only say that to the obese) but that usually ends the convo.

    And tell you husband to keep his mouth shut. It can be a personal issue.
  • lucasmoten
    lucasmoten Posts: 143 Member
    Don't let it get to you. Some people just can't stand to see other people succeed. For these, sometimes a good response is along the lines of ...

    "I'm so glad to know someone of your age and wisdom that can bestow such knowledge to me while I'm still in my youth. I'm certain by your passion that you have both succeeded and failed in a myriad of ways in your own goals and will take your insight under advisement."

    It helps if you can say it with only a hint of sarcasm.

    I'd be more worried about the fact that you consider yourself pretty close with this family member, yet the response seems surprising. Do you really know this person that well? Are they the jealous type? The "I'm never wrong" type? Maybe there is some insecurity in their own life that they are calling out for help on.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I think people are quick to jump to conclusions on what an eating disorder is. As soon as someone reads a label its a "you have an eating disorder" thought process. People are just not used to others being aware of what they are eating or even educated on nutrition (aside from nutritionists) and proportion sizes.

    Can count calories lead to an eating disorder? Sure, just like how over-eating already is. There is no harm in being more educated and being more aware of what you are putting into your body. I keep my eating quiet, but I will share for those who want to know more without being critical. After losing almost 60lbs, people start to shut up and listen.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Maybe said family member is just concerned...because frankly a lot of people do develop some serious disordered thinking when they calorie count...they can get pretty obsessive and can develop really unhealthy relationships with food and exercise and many develop full blown eating disorders. It's actually a pretty legitimate concern.

    For others, calorie counting and weighing out and measuring portions is a learning experience and very beneficial to learning portion control and moderation...but just hang out around MFP long enough and you're going to find a whole **** load of ED around here.
  • MikeyM1982
    MikeyM1982 Posts: 47 Member
    Was she like a lot of people who don't take the step to have a healthy lifestyle whether they want to lose/gain/maintain but never have the motivation to do so?

    I have seen so many people try and bring others down "Oh you're losing too much weight." said the fat woman eating a burger. "Oh you have lost too much weight" said the other fat woman who secretly wished she started the same regime when asked initially.

    Bugs me how individuals like us try our best to change our lives and to be happy, but then people like this try and bring us down because their 1 week crash diet didn't work and they ended up gaining, over and over again.

    Rant over.

    Anyway, ignore them and do what you want to do, log your intake and exercise and reap the rewards, however far down the line that is.
  • Slphertslon
    Slphertslon Posts: 2
    Thanks everyone.

    She is probably a bit overweight but she doesn't seem fussed or ever made any attempt to lose it. She adores eating rich home cooked meals and eating out etc and doesn't exercise. She is v tall so can get away with quite a lot!

    My husband says she is only just affectionately playing around e,g. 'You're weird but I love you' and isnt being malicious. I know she isnt being really malicious and would not intentionally hurt me but I just think it would have been better to keep it to herself. I would never tell her I think she should cut back on the fatty foods so why should she tell me I shouldn't watch my weight? I have been this height for a good 15 years now and I know all too well that you have to be really careful when you're short because the weight can really pile on!

    I will just keep doing what Im doing, I won't be put off!
  • ehample
    ehample Posts: 19
    Touchy subject. I discuss my issues and goals with anyone who has interest in the subject. I do this because I hope it will reach someone else who was in the same situation as I was and help to educate them as I have been. Counting calories is something I thought I would never do however after seeing a nutritionist and being urged to I have found it to be invaluable. I do come across people who occasionally have negativity to offer yet have never been flustered by this. I am quite confident when I exclaim "I do what is needed to achieve my goals. I would rather count calories and measure food than continue to contribute to the obesity in this country. Don't you think that is a better option than diabetes and heart disease?" I have found few people that don't just walk away with nothing else to say. Most people I encounter are very supportive weather genuine or not. Don't waste your time with people who aren't, it is not worth it.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    I suppose compulsive weighing and counting could a symptom or indicator of an ED..but for the vast majority of us, its just a way to be aware of what we are eating, and contributes to a healthy relationship with food and our bodies. Sounds like this person was projecting her own insecurities on to you. Just smile and make nice....and do what you know is right for you.

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