Tips for self confidence?

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charissh
charissh Posts: 91 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I went for a spa day today, and all week I've been freaking out about being in swimwear all day with strangers!

I sucked it up and I really enjoyed it in the end, but it made me think how bad my self confidence is sometimes.

I just wondered if anyone on MFP has any tips to help people who are lacking in self confidence? There are plenty of us who still feel uncomfortable in our own skin, even after losing plenty of weight.

Replies

  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,590 Member
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    Oh Lord, this is a difficult one, because it's very easy to say 'there's someone worse than you', but then that's dissing someone who is 'worse' than you!

    For me, self comparison is the best way to do it. Imagine where you were at the start of your journey (if you have been here a while), then imagine what you will be at the end - you are already on your way! You are making progress towards what you're looking for, and making constant improvements!

    Head up, girl, you know you are doing right to get to where you want to be! :love: :love: :love:
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
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    I cant tell you anything that you already don't know. All I can say is practice. I love me and all my jiggly wiggly bits. As they melt off I am finding that I love my body even more. I am who I am and I will not let anyone ever make me feel bad about my appearance both inside and out...not even myself. So cut yourself some slack and learn to say ****ittal...and be happy.
  • runningjen74
    runningjen74 Posts: 312 Member
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    It's helped having someone at home telling me how good I look - but he says that regardless of how I look - bless his cotton socks.

    I found when I started lifting I viewed myself more as an athlete. I'm motivated by progressing my training - lifting and running, I want to lift more, run faster, etc... I'm still overweight with fat to lose. Don't get me wrong, I still feel self conscious at times, but no where near as much. I view myself as someone strong doing something about it and confident in the progress I've made to date.

    It's also helped how I view food - I view it as fuel for my day / training sessions. I do still have treats, but I don't crave deserts, fried foods, etc... I know they won't help my body, so the desire just isn't there (at least most of the time).

    How I felt I looked stopped me doing things in the past, and did so for 20 odd years. It doesn't at all now.
  • christa279
    christa279 Posts: 222 Member
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    I've always had some confidence issues. It's helped me to look at how far I have come, even if that means pulling up old pictures so I can get a visual. I also stopped focusing on "just losing weight" and started focusing on overall body changes. How has my shape changed? How has the way my clothes fit changed? How do I feel now vs. how I felt before?

    You've lost 26 lbs, and that's great! It might not be where you want to be yet, but you are on your way!
  • Vune
    Vune Posts: 672 Member
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    Oh Lord, this is a difficult one, because it's very easy to say 'there's someone worse than you', but then that's dissing someone who is 'worse' than you!

    For me, self comparison is the best way to do it. Imagine where you were at the start of your journey (if you have been here a while), then imagine what you will be at the end - you are already on your way! You are making progress towards what you're looking for, and making constant improvements!

    Head up, girl, you know you are doing right to get to where you want to be! :love: :love: :love:

    I find it easier to say that everyone is beautiful. I still get angry when I look in the mirror and remember my mother calling me ugly. I get angrier when I acknowledge I believed her. It's hard to get out of that mindset, but it's very liberating to actually see the beauty in the mirror. And while I'm not the sappiest person. It really does come from inside. Everyone has a story, everyone has a challenge. We're all beautiful.

    How to get there? Fake it till you make it if you have to. Reinforce it every time you get down on yourself. The voice is lying to you.
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
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    Two things that have helped me become more confident -- getting older and lifting weights. Don't be like me and weight to get older though, cause there are things I could have done to have better self confidence when I was younger. One is to lift weights :smile: . The other is learn to banish negative self talk from your head. Google cognitive-behavior therapy, there's tons of material online, you don't have to go to therapy to learn the concepts and skills and it really does work if you make a commitment to learn how to change your self-talk.

    ETA: um...don't be like me and WAIT to get older, I meant. Also don't spell like me. Just don't.
  • charissh
    charissh Posts: 91 Member
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    Thanks for all your advice so far :)

    I agree, I think it's gonna take a lot of work and I think it has to come from inside really, I have a supportive boyf and friends and even so I still get down about my body!

    I feel like one of the reasons I put on so much weight was that I already thought I was fat and stopped trying, now I realise just how blummin' stupid that was and I don't wanna get that way again.

    I'm definitely gonna take your comments on board, C x

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