doing it to myself...self sabotage

Options
J3nnyBeanz
J3nnyBeanz Posts: 134 Member
in Motivation and Support
I seem to have an issue whenever I am close to a goal I self sabotage myself. Sometimes I realize it and sometimes not until after the fact. I started to see someone to help me with food issues and am hoping this will help me with my stress eating, as I did this past week. Even with my stress eating I tried to keep some control and happy to say I didn't gain anything. Just wondering if anyone else has this problem or had it but has gotten past it. I am aiming to be out of the 200's by the end of march and want to stay on track. When I food shop as soon as I come home I measure and portion all my food to try and help me reach my goals.

Replies

  • J3nnyBeanz
    J3nnyBeanz Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    :yawn:
  • Sarahgrace0228
    Sarahgrace0228 Posts: 63 Member
    Options
    If you absolutely feel the need to stress eat maybe try eating as many fruits vegetables and other healthy foods as possible. A stress ball may help you as well that way you are doing something with your hands. Maybe gum may help to. That way your chewing that instead of chewing food you will eventually swallow and regret it later. You could also just sit down, take a breather and tell yourself you can get this done without that extra eating. Eating is only going to take extra time that you could be using to try and put effort into eliminating the causes of your stress.In the long run all the stress eating is only going to cause more stress not relieve it. I think you should keep telling yourself that if and when you feel any stress eating coming on. Be strong! You deserve to lose this weight and be happy! Let yourself be happy!
  • Charocheris
    Charocheris Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    I know what you mean, it's weird to explain but you get close to a goal and it's as though part of you doesn't want to achieve it.
  • LMRoses
    LMRoses Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    I do this, in many areas of my life. Get close to a goal, and seem to almost intentionally mess it up. My psychiatrist explained it (forgive the rough explanation here) that it stems from low self-esteem. You deep down believe you don't deserve good things or success, and then when the quality and events of your life improve above what your self-esteem deems your appropriate level, it causes anxiety, and the way to get rid of the anxiety is to bring the level of your life back down to your inner expectations. It makes sense for my particular brand of anxiety and self-sabotage anyway. Working hard to try to correct it.
  • nenshali
    nenshali Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    I think this is quite of a common problem.
    (I will now just refer to 'the fat' but it is in general 'problem x' that you are trying to fight against and whenever you are nearly completely successful, you suddenly stop.)

    See it this way: You always "knew" what was holding you back- your fat. You had something you could blame, you had something you could hate, you had something you could use as your excuse.

    And now you're getting to the point where you have to question something you never questioned your whole life: Is is really the weight that has been the problem?

    It's because you're getting closer to the point where you would actually overcome this point and you would have to realize, that it is NOT your fat, what is holding you back. You yourself are!
    'being fat' itself isn't that horrible and it propably is neither the reason you hate yourself nor it is a reason for things you were denying yourself. And (just my personal assumption) I think this is the point where you have to go on.

    It is not about losing weight. If it was until today, this is the moment where it changes. It is not about your weight.
    This is about you. This is about why you are a lovely person full of worth, awesomeness and you deserve to be loved by others AND you deserve to love yourself. The last part is the important one.
    You deserve to love yourself.

    Your body is not an enemy you have to fight against.
    Try to figure out what you are REALLY scared of. What are your real feelings? What do you feel for yourself (or against yourself), what can you change (if you want to), what is holding you back?
    Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated- in the very best way.


    Good luck! :)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Options
    I've been keeping a lower goal for that reason (1600, still pretty much 0.8 lb a week deficit), even though I'm close to goal. This way on days when I'm a bit over, it's not a huge deal, I'm still losing overall.
  • sunnshhiine
    sunnshhiine Posts: 727 Member
    Options
    I seem to have an issue whenever I am close to a goal I self sabotage myself. Sometimes I realize it and sometimes not until after the fact. I started to see someone to help me with food issues and am hoping this will help me with my stress eating, as I did this past week. Even with my stress eating I tried to keep some control and happy to say I didn't gain anything. Just wondering if anyone else has this problem or had it but has gotten past it. I am aiming to be out of the 200's by the end of march and want to stay on track. When I food shop as soon as I come home I measure and portion all my food to try and help me reach my goals.

    I do this too. Take February, for example. I somehow managed to gain 5 pounds. awesome-sauce.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Options
    Been there, done that; in fact, been doing it lately!!

    I usually have a couple of things I do, sadly, not all at the same time though. Either realize you're stress eating and try to go with healthier foods to do it with...or if you know what it is you're craving, just go get it and get it over with. Not sure which is the best way to go though.
  • J3nnyBeanz
    J3nnyBeanz Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    Wow, not that I am happy that you are all going through this also, I am so happy that I am not alone in this. I am right there almost under 200 pounds and I ate non stop last week. Close to finishing school and stopped.. almost like I am afraid of success. Thank you, everyone for your replies..I feel like I am not as "off" as I thought I was
  • J3nnyBeanz
    J3nnyBeanz Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    I think this is quite of a common problem.
    (I will now just refer to 'the fat' but it is in general 'problem x' that you are trying to fight against and whenever you are nearly completely successful, you suddenly stop.)

    See it this way: You always "knew" what was holding you back- your fat. You had something you could blame, you had something you could hate, you had something you could use as your excuse.

    And now you're getting to the point where you have to question something you never questioned your whole life: Is is really the weight that has been the problem?

    It's because you're getting closer to the point where you would actually overcome this point and you would have to realize, that it is NOT your fat, what is holding you back. You yourself are!
    'being fat' itself isn't that horrible and it propably is neither the reason you hate yourself nor it is a reason for things you were denying yourself. And (just my personal assumption) I think this is the point where you have to go on.

    It is not about losing weight. If it was until today, this is the moment where it changes. It is not about your weight.
    This is about you. This is about why you are a lovely person full of worth, awesomeness and you deserve to be loved by others AND you deserve to love yourself. The last part is the important one.
    You deserve to love yourself.

    Your body is not an enemy you have to fight against.
    Try to figure out what you are REALLY scared of. What are your real feelings? What do you feel for yourself (or against yourself), what can you change (if you want to), what is holding you back?
    Treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated- in the very best way.


    Good luck! :)

    It's like you're in my head lol
  • J3nnyBeanz
    J3nnyBeanz Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    I do this, in many areas of my life. Get close to a goal, and seem to almost intentionally mess it up. My psychiatrist explained it (forgive the rough explanation here) that it stems from low self-esteem. You deep down believe you don't deserve good things or success, and then when the quality and events of your life improve above what your self-esteem deems your appropriate level, it causes anxiety, and the way to get rid of the anxiety is to bring the level of your life back down to your inner expectations. It makes sense for my particular brand of anxiety and self-sabotage anyway. Working hard to try to correct it.

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • sullrico18
    sullrico18 Posts: 261 Member
    Options
    I'm so glad you posted this! I go through the same thing and am glad I'm not alone. :-)
  • mamahannick
    mamahannick Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    Glad to hear you are seeing someone to address this. Therapy is very beneficial for digging down and tackling the root of the issue. The self-sabotage is just a symptom of the real issue. It's important to address that.

    I am the same way though, and it's something that has fueled a nasty binging cycle that I'm fighting to break. We are all in this together! It's not easy, but it's helpful to know you aren't the only one. :)
  • FitGeekery
    FitGeekery Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    Yup you are definitely not alone in self-sabotage/stalling. It's a cycle that I've had to address myself recently as well. A lot of what's been shared/suggested applies to me, as well as a general fear of the unknown. I've been overweight as long as I can remember, even if only by 10 or 20 lbs. Realizing that I'm starting to hit numbers I haven't seen in years reminds me that I'm heading into THE UNKNOWN *cue big dramatic scary music*.

    And then I remind myself of where I started from and how far I've come. Realizing I never want to go back to that headspace or a body that struggled to do the simplest of things like walking for 30 mins or going up a flight of stairs faster than a snail. Sure the unknown is scary, but the thought of being forever stuck where I was is scarier. And when I need help or support or someone to relate to, there are so many people and places (like here) that I can go to. And in digging deep and sticking with the small changes I've made, I'm discovering a kind of strength I didn't know I had.

    And then I started to see that this is probably one of the most empowering journeys I could undertake. Nothing like discovering you can be your greatest champion, not just your greatest adversary :D
  • jbeanv
    jbeanv Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    Love this post. I can absolutely relate and I'm glad I'm not alone. Saving this post to reference later.

Categories