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solstice6
solstice6 Posts: 1 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Today I began to record and watch what I eat.
I am so angry with myself.
I don't pay attention to my body because I am disgusted with myself. I don't look in mirrors, I don't weigh myself, etc.
So the other day when I went to the movies with my mother imagine my total humiliation when I sat down and found I did not fit in the seat. I had to turn my body sideways in order to stuff myself in the seat. OMG.
Apparently I have gained over 30 lbs in the past month, month and a half.
I am almost 300 lbs.
I hate myself.
I hate this disgusting belly, which must weigh 15 lbs on it's own!
I disgust myself.
I am also so sad.
I am pushing away my husband! I can't see how he could love me still. Nor desire me. So I push him away. Even though he shows me that he loves me, wants me. All I can think is ICK.
I can't seem to stop.
So here I am. Trying again.
The problem is that every time I try to lose weight I quit after a few weeks. This time needs to be different. It has to.
(I hear the little sarcastic voice in my head saying Good luck with that.)
It's heard that before.

Replies

  • CharzieGirl
    CharzieGirl Posts: 44
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    I know it might be difficult, but the best advice I can give you is to try not to be angry with yourself. Losing weight is so much easier (and more fun) if you have a positive mindset. Celebrate all of your victories, no matter how small they might be.

    Good luck, I'm rooting for you :)
  • brandi712
    brandi712 Posts: 407 Member
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    You should tell that sarcastic little voice to Shut the bleep up. And be proud of yourself for trying again. AND for starting to record what you eat. Small victories.....focus on those.

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