Dealing with getting crap about weight?

yoltwag
yoltwag Posts: 114 Member
in Motivation and Support
For many years, Ive gotton s*** regarding my weight. Usually, I'll go along with it, say a simple 'ok' or try and ignore. It wasnt to bad 10kgs ago because i was doing nothing about it and they were right. Im still overweight, but i mean everyday im trying so hard to loose, and to still have these comments is killing me.im not a sensitive person at all, the sort of stuff they're saying is very harsh and im at breaking point. This is usually where I start eating and binging, not this time.

Sorry just needed to vent and advice if any of you have it?

Ps, its only guys.

Replies

  • gothomson
    gothomson Posts: 215 Member
    Even the strongest person would find that stuff difficult! I take the odd little jibe about my weight but it’s good natured, what you seem to be getting is not like that at all!

    Firstly - protect yourself. You’re making the effort; you're making the change so well done you!

    I have found that people that constantly berate and ridicule others for making the effort feel insecure themselves and are trying to (whether consciously or not) make you fail so they feel better about their lack of motivation.

    I would approach this in a non-confrontational way, ask them why they are saying what they are saying, explain that although they may not realise it, their words hurt and you’d appreciate their help instead of their ridicule. If they can’t even meet you half way with an open sincere appeal like that, well I’d ask myself if they are worth having in my life.

    I’ve moved away from negative people in the past and you know what? It wasn’t such a big deal: I actually seen one guy, last month, that used to make my life a hell about 10 years ago in a bar; someone had to point him out to me and remind me who he was! It meant so much at the time, but now it’s just a part of my past. On another note he was in a worse physical state than when I last saw him; whereas I had moved on he’d got worse.

    I also found this site really useful to dip into, it offers great advice on how to “keep on, keeping on” in a non-judgmental way about all challenges we face in life: http://lifehacker.com/how-to-stop-giving-a-f-ck-what-people-think-1530784365

    Don’t be put off by the title its main drive is how to deal with day to day life, I found its advice applies to weight loss as well as other areas.

    Good luck to you! Remember you’re in the positive place and the basis for your decisions is far better than someone that has to bring someone down in order to feel better about themselves!
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    I never listen to or care about mean idiots. Someone who tries to hurt somebody else like that is just not somebody I respect enough to give the time of day. I'm sorry they upset you, but don't let them have any power over you. They have proven they aren't worth your bother. Get angry at them, not yourself. They deserve it much more than you do given the situation!
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    you sound like you are ready so please stick with it no matter how hard it gets or how slow the process is. We all know when we are big and saying rude things really isnt helping any. dont give up. and tell any one who hasnt got anything constructive to say to naff off.
  • Findingmozart
    Findingmozart Posts: 3
    I think you may be able to take a positive from it, obviously these people aren't positive or supportive at all but you say 10kg ago you weren't getting any grief (or it wasn't as bad) about your weight because you wasn't doing anything but now you've lost weight and it's starting to show that you've lost weight these people are giving grief?

    No matter how discouraging it feels to receive negative comments the positive to take is people have now NOTICED your body shape has changed, unfortunately for whatever reasons they have they're putting you down rather than encouraging you so it's up to you to take the encouragement from it.

    Whatever you're doing to lose weight has worked, your body shape has visually changed and people are noticing so keep it working, and eventually you'll find someone who can positively appreciate the change.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Have you tried saying, "Hey, I don't appreciate your comments about my weight?" If not, that's your first step.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    2 things would be wise to do:
    1) develop your armor and protect yourself
    2) confront the bullies. They won't stop until you do.

    When I first started on this path, had no armor whatsoever. After about 18 months, and losing weight, I had built it up enough that when my sister's mother-in-law got on her "high horse", I just said, "ok" and left the room. I told myself, she has NO idea what I've been through, and therefore has not earned the right to preach to me about what to do or how to proceed. Hence, she can eat my shorts, talk to the hand, shut the f*** up, go to someplace extremely hot, or whatever your favorite euphemism is.

    Tell the bullies to knock it off. This is your path, not theirs, and until they've earned a medical degree or become a certified dietician, then they are not qualified to talk to you about your weight. Until such time as they do, then you are going to decide the best plan of attack because this is your journey. Take ownership of it, and don't give the fools the time of day.

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