Some honest struggles..

✿KẙMb529✿
✿KẙMb529✿ Posts: 152
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
I've been having some feelings of inadequacy lately and I'm wondering if others are dealing with some of the same issues. In the few weeks I've been on MFP I have received nothing but support and encouragement from my MFP friends. Everyone has been great and I think I'm doing well with the goals I have set myself. The problem comes when I compare my diary to other people's diaries ( which I know I shouldn't do because I know they are tailored to each person's individual goals)... but I look at the diaries or see posts from other MFP members and feel like I'm not doing as good as them or eating as "natural" as them (even if my diary looks pretty good for me!) or I think "maybe I should increase my protein intake and decrease my carbohydrate intake too" when I know that just decreasing my calories to 1200 is a huge accomplishment. Please don't misunderstand... I'm so proud of the accomplishments of my MFP friends and am so happy they're setting goals and sticking to them! :happy: My struggle is within myself. I'm just frustrated I have been having these feelings of inadequacy when I know it isn't a contest; it's a way to better myself and accomplish my goals. Sorry for the lengthy post. Please feel free to comment with any feedback or advice on ways to deal with these issues.:flowerforyou: Thanks!

Replies

  • K2theb35
    K2theb35 Posts: 1
    I hope that you continue to feel encouraged..as someone who has been on and off with weight loss it has been a struggle for me but I know that each plan is going to fit each of us according to our body type/exercise etc. Each pound lost is a mini victory that helps to a better you:) I too need the support of others because for so long I have felt very down about my weight. Be encouraged you are doing a fantastic job..the first victory is just wanting to change the next is putting it to work!
  • daryls
    daryls Posts: 260
    I totally get jealous when I look at others' diaries and see how much they get to eat. 1200 calories is a small number and very challenging, not including trying to eat healthy foods. Then, I look at others' foods and say "boring." That's not me. I want flavor and spice in my food.

    Everything in moderation - including moderation. If you avoid the foods you enjoy altogether, you'll crave them later. I think you are doing a great job!!!!
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    Hmmm... I think inadequacy is a bad approach. Rather, if you feel your friends are doing something that is somehow better, instead see them as role models, a standard to aspire to if you will. Of course, you are wise to remember that it is your own body you should pay attention to, not what your friends are doing. When you are eating the best you can for your body's needs, it does not matter what's on someone else's diary. You have to do what is best for YOU.
  • LanakilaGirl
    LanakilaGirl Posts: 41 Member
    I completely understand what you're saying. I find it really hard to not compare myself to other people and always have. I've had a hard time being okay and accepting myself the way I am. I'm always very hard on myself and have a hard time being proud of my accomplishments.

    I'm reading a book right now called "Feeling Good". It's written by a psychologist named David D. Burns. I strongly suggest you look into this book. I've had depression issues, which is why I got the book, but it covers so many different things and has really helped me change the way I see myself. It's made a world of a difference for me.

    I'm a good listener if you need one, I get it, I really do. . .
  • shaggy22
    shaggy22 Posts: 32
    Hey! Rome wasn't built in a day! If you are in your first few weeks here then you (like me) are just developing a set of new skills. It doesn't have to be perfect, just constantly improve until you get where you want.

    Good luck anyway!
  • reginabroyles
    reginabroyles Posts: 45
    I look at some of the diaries and think EWWWWW! I am a very very picky eater. I think as long as you are eating what you like and eating healthy then you should continue to do so. Who wants a life lived on protein shakes and canned mixed veggies? I want real food. set mini goals of changing things. My first mini goal was to stop drinking pepsi and pop, I havent had one in a week! Do what is best for you, we all live differant lives. GOOD LUCK!!!
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
    Do what is best for you

    :wink: ^ what she said ^

    The goal here is to make a lifestyle change, not to go on a short-term diet, and everyone has to do it their own way!
    For instance, other members are able to ban certain foods and alcohol (props to them), but I know that is not realistic for me - I have to be able to eat whatever I want, at least once in a while, in a reasonable way. And there is no way I am never drinking alcohol again!!
    Since this is my approach, I know I will not be losing pounds per week, but it is a way for me to make changes in a manage-able fashion and not throw in the towel.

    That said, I've found that the small changes over time have been easier to make than to take on several big changes all at once - just too overwhelming for me.

    It's great if you find other people's habits admirable, but just remember that you just need to figure out what works for you!!

    :flowerforyou: GOOD LUCK IN YOUR RACE!
  • bobdubya
    bobdubya Posts: 55
    Don't feel like that. I'm pretty sure most people on here wish they only had 12 lbs to lose on their ticker like you. LOL It all realative. I'm sure you are doing what YOU need to do. Don't sweat it.
  • daybyday
    daybyday Posts: 537 Member
    I completely understand what you're saying. I find it really hard to not compare myself to other people and always have. I've had a hard time being okay and accepting myself the way I am. I'm always very hard on myself and have a hard time being proud of my accomplishments.

    I'm reading a book right now called "Feeling Good". It's written by a psychologist named David D. Burns. I strongly suggest you look into this book. I've had depression issues, which is why I got the book, but it covers so many different things and has really helped me change the way I see myself. It's made a world of a difference for me.

    I'm a good listener if you need one, I get it, I really do. . .

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I just ordered it off a book swap site I belong to. I struggle with the same issues and I'm really trying to work on this aspect on my health/weight loss journey as well.
  • patsaffo
    patsaffo Posts: 20
    All of us are here because we struggle with health and food. Everyone has to find their own way to a healthy body, whether it be to strictly count calories and still eat fast food twice a week, or go vegan. Everyone's body is different, and tolerates different things. If you are getting results, or at least not gaining weight, and if you are thinking about movement and activity, and doing what you can, you are doing what you are meant to be doing right now.

    I am losing weight very slowly, and it frustrates me. I went through a salad phase, and now have a hard time looking at lettuce. I was so strict on myself that I was not getting enough calories. I tried not to eat any processed foods, but then when I was very busy I would get too hungry and eat unheallthy.

    I have been through it all - and am finding that for me, only, moderation is the key. This is not a diet, but a way of life, and I want to be happy and enjoy it. I do not want to obsess with food and exercise, either by overeating or undereating, being a slug or working out compulsively.

    Be happy with your efforts. It's easier said than done, but when I eat a few chips with guacamole or have a glass of wine and start to stress, I just say "F*** it" and move on. Just be human.
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    I have a tough time with that too (especially since I have SO been slacking over the last month or so). What has helped me is making one change at a time. I only have my calories set to lose 1 pound a week, so I have about 1500 calories/day right now (I have a lot more to lose than you do!) Reducing to 1200 all at once would have been way too much of a decrease for me! I try to eat less processed, etc. when I can... and try to not beat myself up when I don't. I try to have the attitude that any change is better than not changing at all.

    I think it is important to remember that even after you lose the weight, you will (hopefully) be eating differently. Look at this as a lifestyle change... and you can always set extra goals for HOW you eat as you continue on your weight loss journey and as you maintain that healthier weight.
  • LanakilaGirl
    LanakilaGirl Posts: 41 Member
    I completely understand what you're saying. I find it really hard to not compare myself to other people and always have. I've had a hard time being okay and accepting myself the way I am. I'm always very hard on myself and have a hard time being proud of my accomplishments.

    I'm reading a book right now called "Feeling Good". It's written by a psychologist named David D. Burns. I strongly suggest you look into this book. I've had depression issues, which is why I got the book, but it covers so many different things and has really helped me change the way I see myself. It's made a world of a difference for me.

    I'm a good listener if you need one, I get it, I really do. . .

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I just ordered it off a book swap site I belong to. I struggle with the same issues and I'm really trying to work on this aspect on my health/weight loss journey as well.

    No problem! Happy to help, it really is a good book.
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